Gulf Coast Psychological Services PLLC

02/12/2021

As we approach Valentines Day, it’s a reminder of love and gives us time to reflect.

Here’s a good rule of thumb that would eliminate a ton of relational conflict between couples:

Make your decisions throughout the day: your interactions with others, your texts, your calls, your emails, your social media messages, even your purchases, as if your significant other was with you watching, reading, and hearing all. It’s not to make you feel paranoid, but it is an exercise of being mindful and empathetic to your partner. If it’s not something you’d feel comfortable doing, saying, typing with your loved one right next to you, it’s not a good decision for your partnership with them.

Sometimes it’s easy to be on the “me” train and to not think about how our actions and decisions impact the one that loves us the most. We may minimize their feelings and discomfort about something because we try to convince ourselves our action was acceptable. Again, I challenge you to examine your behaviors and actions when you’re not in the presence of your loved one. Do your actions and behaviors lift that person up? Do your behaviors and actions honor them as your beloved? Do your actions and behaviors fill the cup of your relationship together or do they take from it?

Gulf Coast Psychological Services PLLC

01/29/2021

Who can overthink? 🙋🏻‍♀️

We all can overthink things: we may question our decisions, pick apart a conversation, go over events...but what if it stops you from actually doing what you need to do?

Ruminating is overthinking on a continuous loop. We can ruminate on worrying about the past and worrying about the future.

Ruminating and overthinking may fool you into thinking you are problem-solving, but it’s the total opposite. It’s just worrying about the “problem,” thinking about it on a loop, but not actually problem solving anything. You mistake this pressure as stress. It clouds your judgment, increases anxiety, intensifies anger and frustration, negatively affects your physical health, and prevents you from taking positive action.

It’s also not self-reflection, as it is meant to be purposeful and move you into action.

The more you overthink, the harder it is to stop. It becomes a habit.

Overthinking not only DOESN’T solve problems, it’s destructive: mentally and physically draining. It actually makes you more prone to anxiety and depression. It takes away your sense of control because you agonize and overthink the uncertainty of the future-all those “what if’s” become paralyzing.

The good news is: overthinking, chronic worrying, rumination, whatever terminology you want to use, is a habit that can be broken.
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1) Replace the thought with something else.
2) Get a grip on your thinking and use self-talk. When you notice you’re doing it, tell yourself to stop.
3) Challenge your worries. Really break it down into how likely the scenarios you’re replaying in your mind will happen.
4) Reframe the negative worry/issue with a positive outcome.
5) Use this overthinking energy in a productive way. Be creative. Journal. Write songs, poetry. Go for a run.
6) Be mindful. Pay attention to your senses and what’s around you in the moment while taking deep breaths.
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Retraining your brain to kick the habit of overthinking can be resolved fairly quickly if you’re intentional with it. As soon as you notice that loop starting, use the tips above to interrupt this unproductive way of thinking and make the decision to consciously stop ruminating.

01/18/2021

“Change does not roll in on wheels of inevitability, but comes through continuous struggle.” — Martin Luther King Jr., “The Death of Evil upon the Seashore,” sermon at the Cathedral of St. John the Divine, New York City, 05/17/1956

Change doesn’t come through doing nothing. Change doesn’t just happen. Change takes work. Change takes acknowledgment. Change takes intention. Change takes consistency. Change takes courage.

01/15/2021

Did you know that laughter releases the feel good neurotransmitter, endorphin? Pure laughter increases blood flow, and increases mental sharpness and physical resilience.

01/13/2021

01/12/2021

“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.” —Peter F. Drucker

Think about what you say you’ll do; what plans you have. Remember, plans are just ideas unless intentional action is taken.

Be careful when you promise things to others but don’t follow through: that erodes trust, the very building block of relationships and creates uncertainty. We all mess up at times and that’s not the problem-the problem is making a habit and routine out of exclaiming “ideas,” “promises,” that you procrastinate on fulfilling or you may even behave in ways contrary to positive movement towards those plans; ultimately discrediting the idea/promise/plan, altogether.

Be intentional in your actions and make sure your actions honor those promises you’ve made; because actions are much louder than any words could ever be.

01/06/2021

Humans are typically uncomfortable in accepting facts that cause discomfort. We fool ourselves in dealing with difficult situations and avoiding uncomfortable realities by trying to convince ourselves “it’s not so bad.”

Enter denial.

Ultimately, the truth is still the reality no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise. In order to confront cognitive dissonance, be prepared to change your behaviors and attitude in a way that ACCEPTS the reality of what really is (not the reality you’ve developed through positive illusions of self-deception).
Once you get to a point of acceptance, you can start to move forward.

01/05/2021

New year. New you. Now is the perfect time to follow through on that one big thing you said you would do, but can’t seem to actually do it. Ideas are just ideas without action.

⚪️How to Follow Through on your Goals⚪️

1) Visualize the benefits of following through AND the liabilities of not.

2) Get comfortable being uncomfortable. Successful people realize that not everything will be pleasurable but that the short-term discomfort is worth it in exchange for the larger long-term gain.

3) Set a public commitment with a specific deadline. Let others know you are committed to a task and your specific deadline to get it done. Accountability helps counteract procrastinating.

4) The thermometer method. Break down your goal into steps (your to-do list) and track those accomplishments that move you to that ultimate goal.

5) Keep reminding yourself of the benefit if you follow through and how hurt you will be if you don’t. Visualize the benefits. Verbalize the benefits.

Dr. Nemko, Today

⚪️Procrastination is a killer. Don’t let it own you. ⚪️

01/03/2021

“For last year’s words belong to last year’s language and next year’s words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.”
—T.S. Eliot

11/03/2020

If you were like me and didn’t get a chance to be part of the 1.43 million early voters in Harris County, TODAY is your day! Exercise your right to vote!