Super Listening

Super Listening Contact information, map and directions, contact form, opening hours, services, ratings, photos, videos and announcements from Super Listening, Psychologist, Huntington Woods, MI.

Bob Mossman is a retired educator and school psychologist and the author of Super Listening, a practical guide that helps listeners notice meaning, emotion, and impact in everyday conversation, as well as respond with more balance.

People listen at about 250 words per minute but people normally talk at about 150 words per minute.Listeners often know ...
07/20/2026

People listen at about 250 words per minute but people normally talk at about 150 words per minute.

Listeners often know where the speaker is going. We predict where the sentence is headed just like we predict where a ball is headed when playing catch. It’s natural.

This is one reason listening can be boring.

07/11/2026

Advice Without Consent

This seems true. When people give us advice, it makes them feel good about themselves for the moment.

It may even help them feel superior to us for a second or two. After all, they have the answer and we don’t.

There is a mountain of free advice at your finger tips.There was also a mountain of advice growing up. Our parents gave ...
07/10/2026

There is a mountain of free advice at your finger tips.

There was also a mountain of advice growing up. Our parents gave us free advice, and so did our teachers, ministers, neighbors, friends, teammates, aunts, partners, etc. They probably all meant well.

Don’t be afraid.

Don’t worry about that.

If at first you don’t succeed…

Forget about it.

BUT, THEY DID NOT SHOW YOU HOW TO DO IT.

07/07/2026

The Talking Habit

The way we talk is a habit, a pattern of behavior. The pattern is repeated the same way every time we speak. Practice makes permanent. It’s like the way we walk.

When we go for a walk, we don’t think about our pace, whether we have a proper heal toe progression. We don’t pay attention to the alignment of our foot to our body. We just walk the way we’re accustomed to walking. It’s unconscious. We don’t think about it.

The same applies to the way we talk. We have our cadence, volume, pacing, and intensity (emotion) that is unique to us. We want to say something, so we say it without giving thought to how we want to say it. We talk the way we’re used to talking. It’s a highly ingrained habit.

A super listener uses some of their listening time to notice the speaker’s patterns and to notice what the speaker ignores.

With this discernment, listeners begin noticing their own speaking patterns.

07/05/2026

Emotion While Listening

Advice comes 2 ways - unsolicited and solicited.

Solicited advice happens after we ask for help.

“How do I get to the pancake restaurant on Main Street and Elm?”

Unsolicited advice happens without asking or without suggesting there is a problem.

“Go eat at the pancake restaurant on Main Street and Elm.”

They feel different because they are different.

If you want to appreciate the difference, listen for the advice.

Noticing this difference is a convenient way to study our own emotional reactions while listening.

Listening is often boring. This helps make it fun.

07/04/2026

Listening for Emotion

Listening for the emotion in a conversation enhances our comprehension.

Gossip is a common aspect of conversation. Gossip runs on rumor, sensitivity, the personal, and the sensational. The emotions are conveyed through the words and the intensity of people’s voices as they talk.

Taking the opportunity to listen to the gossiping is one good way to study the emotionality in conversations. By dialing down the importance of the words spoken and instead focusing on the emotions expressed is one way to become a more astute listening.

07/02/2026

A Conversation Phenomenon

Conversations are a back and forth. The back and forth is also an act and react.

The listener reacts to what the talker says (words) and how the talker says it (affect).

Often times listeners spend their listening time thinking about what they want to say.

This happens when we agree and disagree. When bored, the listener may think about changing the topic to something more interesting.

It can be boring listening to someone talk about their vacation in New York, so the listener interjects to talk about their own trip to New Orleans.

07/01/2026

Others

Do you have any enemies? Maybe, maybe not.

Do you have any competitors? Definitely.

Sibling rivalry

Winning the game. Everything from Chutes and Ladders to pickle ball.

Money

Status

Looks

Greener grass

Keeping up with the Jones

Getting in the last word

Mother liked you best

Better grades

Better hair. Or even just having hair left.

Remembering who starred in that old movie

(More upon request.)

06/30/2026

Dialing In

Dial up the focus on the intensity in someone’s voice while dialing down the focus on the words they say.

As toddlers learning to talk, words matter most. Intensity in someone’s voice is too subtle for young brains to consciously focus on.

But here is an interesting aspect of listening. The listener anticipates the end of the talker’s sentences and paragraphs while the talker is talking. We kinda know where they’re going. This phenomenon is one reason listening can be boring. The listener knows where the talker is going before the talker finishes their thought.

Therefore, adult listeners have time to monitor the emotion in a talker’s voice and still have space to do all the necessary comprehending. We didn’t do it consciously as kids so it takes conscious practice to do it as adults.

06/29/2026

INTENSITY MATTERS

When we listen, we primarily listen to the words. But the intensity communicates the emotionality.

Saying, “look out the window” communicates a simple directive to focus our attention at what is outside the window.

Saying, “LOOK OUT, THE WINDOW!” communicates something dangerous.

Words are primarily the source for information. Intensity is primarily the source for emotion.

This is a valuable distinction when listening. It also makes listening more fun.

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Huntington Woods, MI
48070

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