Finding Food and Body Freedom

Finding Food and Body Freedom Hello!

I'm Dr. Jessica, a licensed clinical psychologist and consultant whose passion is helping women overcome emotional and binge eating by healing their relationships with food and their bodies.

This feels like the perfect note to end the week on because today we are heading to Mexico. 🌮☀️And after a week of talki...
06/12/2026

This feels like the perfect note to end the week on because today we are heading to Mexico. 🌮☀️

And after a week of talking about the “I Deserve This” Loop, I keep thinking about how important it is to choose rest, pleasure, and enjoyment before we are completely depleted.

Because when life becomes all responsibility, pressure, and doing what everyone else needs, pleasure can start to feel like something we only reach for once we are already resentful or burned out.

And sometimes that comes out through food.

There is nothing wrong with wanting things that feel good. But when there is no room for pleasure in your actual life, food can become the quickest place to find it.

So as we head out today, I’m practicing the version I want for all of us:

✨ Rest before burnout
✨ Pleasure before resentment
✨ Joy before rebellion has to come out swinging through food

I’ll be taking next week off from my usual content so I can be present with my husband and the kids, chill on the beach, sip a mojito, and enjoy some real rest and fun. 😎

I’ll probably post some vacation photos, but mostly I’m giving myself permission to be off duty for a bit.

Which feels like exactly the point of this week’s message. 💛

That “I don’t care anymore. I’m eating it!” moment is not the beginning of the loop.It’s the breaking point.By the time ...
06/11/2026

That “I don’t care anymore. I’m eating it!” moment is not the beginning of the loop.

It’s the breaking point.

By the time you are standing in the pantry, pulling into the drive-thru, or eating past the point of satisfaction, there is usually a lot that has already been building.

Maybe you went along with something you did not really want. Maybe your whole day got swallowed by other people’s priorities. Maybe you held back what you wanted to say and spent the rest of the day irritated. Or maybe you noticed how little of the day included anything you actually wanted.

So when food shows up, it does not just feel like food…. it feels like a way to finally say yes to yourself.

That is why this loop can be so confusing. From the outside, it looks like “self-sabotage.” But underneath, there is often frustration, deprivation, resentment, and a real need for more choice, pleasure, and freedom.

💡The problem is not that you want those things. The problem is when food becomes one of the ONLY places you feel allowed to have them.

Because in the moment, eating can feel like taking something back. But afterward, the regret usually shows up, and the next promise is often, “Tomorrow I’ll tighten everything up again.”

🌀 That is how the cycle keeps reinforcing itself:

You try to clamp down harder, food starts to feel even more emotionally charged, the urges build, and eventually the pendulum swings back the other way.

This is exactly the kind of pattern we change inside The Finding Food & Body Freedom Formula.

Inside the program, we look at:

✨ what tends to build before the eating happens

✨ why food has become such a powerful response

✨ which binge eating loops are most active for you

✨ how to begin changing the pattern underneath the eating instead of only trying to control the behavior on the surface

Because the goal is not to become more disciplined, more rigid, or better at being “good” around food.

The goal is to understand what is really driving the eating so you can respond differently, feel more confident in your choices, and stop getting pulled back into the same cycle over and over again.

If you are ready to understand what is actually driving your binge or emotional eating and begin changing the pattern underneath it, comment or message me FREEDOM.

I’ll send you a closer look at The Finding Food & Body Freedom Formula so you can see how I help women stop getting pulled into the same painful cycles and finally feel calmer, more confident, and more in control around food. 💛

You know that voice that shows up after you have spent the whole day doing what you are supposed to do?Maybe it sounds l...
06/08/2026

You know that voice that shows up after you have spent the whole day doing what you are supposed to do?

Maybe it sounds like, “I’ve been good all day. I deserve this.” Or maybe it sounds more like, “Screw it. I don’t care anymore. I’m going to eat what I want.”

If that feels familiar, this week’s binge eating loop is for that part of you.

It is called the “I Deserve This” Loop, also known as Rebellion Eating, and I’m sharing the next video in the Understanding Binge Eating Patterns series with Lisa Tickel where I break down how this pattern works.

This loop is not just about wanting the food… it’s about wanting reward, freedom, or the feeling that you get to choose something for yourself.

It can show up after a day of following rigid food rules, telling yourself you “shouldn’t” eat something, or trying to prove you can stay in control. It can also flare up when someone comments on your body, your plate, or what you should be eating, and something in you immediately pushes back.

Or maybe life has felt like all effort and no reward, and food starts to look like the fastest way to give yourself something that feels good right now.

Eventually, the part of you that has been trying to comply gets tired of playing along. It says:

👉 “I’ve been denied enough.”
👉 “I should get to have something I want.”
👉 “I just don’t care anymore. I’m going to eat what I want.”

That is when food can start to feel less like food and more like a way to take something back.

In that moment, the eating may feel satisfying because it seems like freedom. It feels like pushing back against the rules, taking back a choice, or finally getting something you have been denying yourself.

But afterward, guilt often creeps in. You may feel disappointed in yourself, physically uncomfortable, or frustrated that you “did it again.”

So, you promise to tighten things back up tomorrow, which only adds more pressure and deprivation.

And that is how the cycle keeps going: Control → rebellion → regret → more control.

💡 In this video, I talk with Lisa about why this loop shows up, why it is not a lack of discipline, and why the rebellious part of you may be protecting something important.

Because what if this part of you is not just rebellious and underneath the food, she is trying to advocate for something you have been missing?

🎥 Watch the video to hear more about why food can become to take back power when you’ve felt restricted, controlled, or denied: https://youtu.be/C8xu0my4e7c?si=GjPg9M5pFmm6AvLY

We talk a lot about green flags in relationships with other people, and I love this list: growth, kindness, and compassi...
06/05/2026

We talk a lot about green flags in relationships with other people, and I love this list: growth, kindness, and compassion.

I also think those should be green flags in the relationship we have with ourselves, especially when we are healing from things that hurt us.

Healing does not move faster when we shame ourselves, rush ourselves, or keep saying, “I should be over this by now.” Most of the time, that just adds more pain to something that was already hard enough.

Healing asks for a willingness to grow, but it also asks for patience with the parts of you that are still carrying old wounds. The parts of you that were hurt do not need more judgment. They need enough compassion and care to be acknowledged, understood, and supported.

Growth, kindness, and compassion are beautiful qualities to look for in the people you let close, but they are also beautiful qualities to practice in your relationship with yourself. 💛

One of the most painful thoughts women have after binge eating is, “I should be over this by now.”You may look down at t...
06/04/2026

One of the most painful thoughts women have after binge eating is, “I should be over this by now.”

You may look down at the empty package, the crumbs on the counter, or the food you barely remember deciding to eat, and feel that awful mix of confusion, shame, and dread settle in all at once.

🧠 In the Numbing Loop, the binge often happens because emotional pain or shame has risen so high that your nervous system reaches for the fastest way it knows to shut everything down.

Sometimes the trigger is obvious, like a painful conversation, a memory, or criticism. Other times, it is harder to identify. It may be a tone of voice that hits a nerve, a body sensation you cannot explain, or a wave of emotion that seems to come out of nowhere.

When the feelings become that intense, food can feel like the quickest way to turn everything off.

But once the binge is over, the pain is usually still there, now tangled up with guilt, regret, shame, and that sinking thought of, “Why did I do that again?”

That is what makes this loop so painful: the shame after the binge can become part of what pulls you back toward numbing the next time emotional pain rises.

This is also why the work must go much deeper than another plan for what to eat.

💬 A client recently shared this after struggling with binge eating for more than 45 years:

“I called Dr. Jessica exhausted and in tears from decades of feeling stuck in cycles of binge eating, shame, and starting over. What I found with her program was not judgment or rules, but deep compassion, structure, insight, and practical tools that have helped me to understand myself differently.

She created a safe place where I could be honest without embarrassment or criticism. This alone has brought tremendous healing. The changes I’ve experienced have gone far beyond eating. I am calmer, more hopeful, more grounded, and more myself than I have been in years.”

— Marie, member of The Finding Food & Body Freedom Formula

This is the kind of change that becomes possible when you stop treating binge eating like a character flaw and start understanding the pattern underneath it.

For Marie, the first step was a Binge Pattern Assessment, where we began connecting the dots between the eating, the shame, and what her nervous system had been carrying for so long.

During this free assessment, we

✨ Pinpoint which binge eating loops are keeping you stuck

✨ Connect the dots between what tends to happen before the binge and why the urge can feel so hard to interrupt

✨ Help you understand what food may be doing for you in those moments

✨ Give you a clearer sense of what kind of support would actually help, instead of leaving you to keep guessing on your own

If you are tired of guessing why your binge or emotional eating keeps repeating, comment or message me NUMB, and I’ll send you the link to book your assessment.

There is a certain kind of binge that does not really feel like eating.You may be standing in the kitchen, sitting in fr...
06/01/2026

There is a certain kind of binge that does not really feel like eating.

You may be standing in the kitchen, sitting in front of the TV, or scrolling on your phone while eating quickly and automatically. You are not savoring it or even tasting it. Then suddenly, you look down and realize far more is gone than you meant to eat.

If you have ever thought, “Wait… did I really eat all of that?” this week’s binge eating loop may explain a lot.

This week’s loop is the Numbing Loop, and I’m sharing the next video in the Understanding Binge Eating Patterns series with Lisa Tickel where I break down how this pattern works.

This loop is different from eating because you are stressed, lonely, or trying to reward yourself after a hard day.

In the Numbing Loop, food is often being used to feel nothing at all.

It tends to show up when emotional pain spikes too fast or feels too overwhelming to stay present with. That might happen after criticism, a memory that catches you off guard, a body sensation that brings something old back, an anniversary of a painful event, or even a heaviness you cannot fully explain but feel deep in your body.

In those moments, food can become the fastest way to shut it all down. It gives your mind somewhere else to go, dulls the edges of what you are feeling, and pulls you out of the intensity for a little while.

That is why this kind of binge can feel foggy, detached, or almost trance-like. The goal is not enjoyment… the goal is escape.

💡 Because when emotions feel dangerously overwhelming, numbing them can feel safer.

But once the binge is over, the original pain is still there and is now mixed with guilt, shame, and that painful thought of, “Why did I do that again?”

And because that shame hurts too, it can become the very thing that pulls you back toward using food to numb out again.

That is the Numbing Loop.

In this video, I talk with Lisa about why binge eating can become your nervous system’s go-to way to shut down when everything inside feels like too much, and what deeper need sits underneath this pattern.

If bingeing has ever felt less like eating and more like disappearing for a while, I think this video will help put words to something you may not have fully understood before. 💛

🎥 Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/D5MASgoSOJE?si=aUBsUIzQN4PAYvs9

When the need for connection feels especially heavy, it can help to have a few ways to offer yourself comfort in the mom...
05/29/2026

When the need for connection feels especially heavy, it can help to have a few ways to offer yourself comfort in the moment.

That comfort might come through warmth, pressure, a calming voice, a familiar song, or something soft and grounding that helps your body settle a little.

I put together 3 simple ideas in this carousel for the moments when you feel worn down, lonely, or in need of something comforting to reach for. They are not meant to fix the feeling or make it disappear. They are small ways to help yourself feel a little more supported while you move through it.

Save this for a day when you need the reminder. 💛

The moment a baby is born, two things bring comfort:🤱 Touch🍼 FoodI thought about this recently when I came across this p...
05/28/2026

The moment a baby is born, two things bring comfort:

🤱 Touch
🍼 Food

I thought about this recently when I came across this photo of me holding Elliana after she was born. In those first moments, comforting her was about holding her close and feeding her, helping her feel safe.

And that is why comfort eating makes so much sense to me.

When I hear a woman say, “Why can’t I just stop reaching for food when I’m sad?”, I understand why she feels frustrated. But I know there is something deeper happening underneath it.

Food is not just fuel. For many of us, it was one of the first ways we experienced comfort.

Later in life, when sadness, loneliness, grief, rejection, or emotional emptiness rises, the brain often reaches for what feels familiar & what has helped before, even if only for a little while.

That is why I believe we need to talk about comfort eating with more honesty and less shame.

There is nothing inherently wrong with food being comforting. The problem begins when food becomes the only form of comfort you rely on.

When that happens, food can start standing in for the hug you need after a hard day, the reassurance you want when you feel forgotten, or the closeness you crave but feel too vulnerable to ask for.

That’s why “just stop eating” doesn’t work. It misses the deeper issue: understanding what food has been doing for you emotionally and what needs are going unmet underneath the eating.

You do not need to banish comfort eating. You need more ways to feel comforted, connected, and supported so food is not carrying that job all by itself.

If you’re unsure which emotional pattern keeps pulling you back into the same eating cycle, that is what we untangle during a Binge Pattern Assessment.

This free assessment is for women who are tired of guessing and ready to understand why their binge or emotional eating keeps repeating despite knowing “what they should be doing.”

During the assessment, we look at what is happening before the eating starts, identify which binge eating loop is keeping you stuck, and clarify the kind of support that would help you begin changing the pattern in a sustainable way.

💛 Comment COMFORT and I’ll send you the link to book your assessment.

When food starts feeling like company, we are usually looking at something deeper than hunger.Maybe it happens after a t...
05/25/2026

When food starts feeling like company, we are usually looking at something deeper than hunger.

Maybe it happens after a text goes unanswered, after a hard conversation, after scrolling and seeing everyone else with their people, or after walking into a quiet house and realizing how alone you feel.

So you find yourself in the kitchen, not because you are physically hungry, but because opening the pantry feels easier than sitting with the loneliness.

For a little while, food gives you something to focus on. It fills the silence and feels warm, familiar, and dependable.

That’s the Comfort Loop, also known as the Sadness/Loneliness Loop, and I’m sharing the next video in the Understanding Binge Eating Patterns series with Lisa Tickel where I break down how this pattern works.

This is the loop where food becomes a substitute for connection.

And this one can feel hard to talk about because it brings up the kind of loneliness most women try to push through or hide.

Underneath the eating, there is often a very real longing for comfort, closeness, reassurance, or the feeling that someone sees you without you having to explain everything.

That is why food can feel so dependable in this loop.

Food does not tell you it is too busy. It does not cancel plans, forget to check in, or make you wait for a text back. It also does not ask you to trust someone, risk rejection, or admit out loud how lonely you really feel.

It is just there, and for a moment, it helps.

But then the food is gone, and the ache is usually still there. Sometimes it feels even louder afterward because now the sadness or loneliness is mixed with guilt, shame, regret, or that awful question of, “Why did I do that again?”

That is the Comfort Loop.

Emotional pain rises, food steps in, the ache softens for a moment, and then the real need is still waiting to be met.

💡 Food can mimic connection for a little while, but it cannot fully replace it.

🎥 Watch the video to hear more about why food can feel like comfort, company, and relief when sadness or loneliness shows up: https://youtu.be/10rCmdWlozE?si=hPrPk99UrtH4LDdw

Perfectionism can feel like protection.It tells you that if you do everything right, avoid mistakes, keep everyone impre...
05/22/2026

Perfectionism can feel like protection.

It tells you that if you do everything right, avoid mistakes, keep everyone impressed, and never let anyone see you struggle, then maybe you will not have to feel embarrassed, criticized, rejected, or disappointed in yourself.

But living that way gets small fast.

You stop trying things unless you know you can do them well. You overthink instead of starting. You stay quiet when you have something to say. You wait until you feel “ready,” even though ready keeps moving further away.

And little by little, the life you are trying so hard to protect becomes a life you are barely letting yourself live.

I love this quote from Brené Brown because it reminds me that perfectionism does not actually keep us safe. It keeps us contained.

A bigger life will always require a little more risk than perfectionism is comfortable with, but that does not mean you are doing it wrong.

It means you are finally giving yourself room to grow. 💛

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