Spence Counseling Alliance, PLLC

Spence Counseling Alliance, PLLC Contact information, map and directions, contact form, opening hours, services, ratings, photos, videos and announcements from Spence Counseling Alliance, PLLC, Mental Health Service, 640 NW Gilmand Boulevard, #101, Issaquah, WA.

Therapist for Gen X Women, Men, Teens
Done carrying the mental load & being the default person
Helping you drop guilt, resentment, and over-functioning

IG & TikTok:
⬇️ Couples Work Waitlist
spencecounselingalliance.com/couples-work

09/01/2026

If he genuinely wants to get it right, but still doesn’t seem to see what you need, there may be a reason.

He asks if you’re okay.
You say you’re fine.
He believes you.

And you go to bed feeling alone.

That doesn’t automatically mean he doesn’t care. Sometimes he was simply never taught how to recognize the emotional weight of a room, or how to hear what’s underneath “I’m fine.”

He was taught to provide. Protect. Fix.

You may be speaking two completely different emotional languages.

That doesn’t mean you should keep carrying the translation for both of you. And it doesn’t mean he gets a pass on learning.

But if he genuinely wants to understand, that matters.

Because willingness to learn is where the conversation can actually begin.

🎧 Free audio in bio: The Agreement I Didn’t Know I Signed

09/01/2026

Rule twenty-three: if he can't see it, it isn't work.

He says just tell me what to do, and you can't think of one thing to give him. Not because there's nothing. Because there are ninety things and none of them are one thing.

Whose shoes stopped fitting. When the dog's pills run out. That your daughter stopped mentioning her friend two weeks ago.

You're not doing all of it. You're the one who knows all of it. That's a different job and nobody has ever named it.

And nobody's the villain here. He isn't lazy, you aren't a martyr, and neither of you sat down and agreed to this. Your mother carried the whole list in her head for forty years and nobody ever saw it. So did his.

💬 What's the job in your house nobody's ever named?

08/29/2026

You were the easy one. She said it like a compliment, and she meant it like one.

Nobody told you to stop needing things. You just noticed the room stayed calm when you didn't.

So you got good at not asking. Then you got married and didn't tell him either, and every time you handled it silently he learned it didn't need saying.

And your mother wasn't doing something to you. She was doing what she was taught, in a house where nobody asked her either.

This didn't start in your marriage. You walked in carrying it. Which means it isn't him you have to fix, and it isn't you either. It's the thing you were both handed.

💙 Comment PAUSE for the free audio.

💬 What were you praised for being?

08/27/2026

She asked an eleven-year-old what she weighs. At the table.

"That's not a question we ask." Six words, then you change the subject. You're not asking her to agree with you, you're closing the topic.

Then two more conversations. One with your daughter, one with your mother.

The last one costs something. Your mother will be hurt that you said anything at all. Let her be hurt. You can live through your mother being annoyed with you. Your daughter can't live through learning her body belongs to the room.

💙 Comment SCRIPT and I'll send you all of them, plus nine more, free.

💬 What did they say about your body when you were eleven?

Save this one for the parking lot.Five steps for the two minutes when your chest goes tight and you can't get a full bre...
08/26/2026

Save this one for the parking lot.

Five steps for the two minutes when your chest goes tight and you can't get a full breath. Cold, long exhale, name five things, then go in anyway.

Going in anyway is the part that changes it. Every time you leave instead, your body learns the parking lot was the danger.

If chest pain or shortness of breath is new for you, get it checked by a doctor first. This is for panic you already know you have.

💙 Free audio in my bio

08/25/2026

You are allowed to be loved and disappointing on the same day.

Most of us learned the opposite. That love was conditional on being easy. That if she was disappointed in you, something had gone wrong, and you were the thing that went wrong.

It didn't. She can be disappointed. You can still be loved. Both of those are allowed to be true at five o'clock on a Tuesday.

Which one are you still trying to avoid? Her disappointment, or the silence after it?

08/24/2026

"You were never this sensitive."

One sentence, and now you're defending yourself instead of protecting your daughter.

She gets to say stop, and she doesn't have to explain why. It counts because she said it.

08/23/2026

Panic can feel like something is going terribly wrong, but there’s a pattern happening in your body and brain.

Trigger → body sensation → scary thought → fear → adrenaline → more symptoms → more fear.

The goal isn’t to fight the panic or force it to disappear. It’s to stop feeding the loop.

Try ACCEPT:
✨ A — Acknowledge what’s happening
✨ C — Confirm you’re actually safe
✨ C — Calm the body with a slow, longer exhale
✨ E — Engage with what’s around you
✨ P — Proceed anyway
✨ T — Think: your brain is overprotective, not broken

💙 Save this for the next time you need the reminder, and send it to someone who might need it.

08/22/2026

An apology with a "but" isn't an apology. It's a defense wearing one.

"I'm sorry" is a complete sentence.

💙 I'm opening couples work this winter. Link's in my bio.

Address

640 NW Gilmand Boulevard, #101
Issaquah, WA
98027

Opening Hours

Monday 1pm - 6pm
Tuesday 9am - 6pm
Wednesday 1pm - 6pm
Thursday 9am - 6pm
Friday 9am - 12pm

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