07/30/2026
Its unfair to expect a child to be more regulated and mindful than a grown adult. Its also unfair for the adult to expect to be forgiven with or without an apology and the child be punished for the same behavior.
We demand an absurd level of emotional maturity from children that we routinely excuse ourselves from practicing.
Think about the last time you cut someone off in traffic, snapped at a colleague because you were hungry, or completely shut down and gave a partner the silent treatment because you felt slighted. As adults, we grant ourselves infinite grace for these lapses. We blame it on a bad night’s sleep, an impossible deadline, or a high-stress week. We understand that our behavior was just a bad byproduct of being an exhausted human.
Yet, if our child completely unravels because their nervous system is fried, we label it a behavior crisis.
We treat their fatigue like a personal insult, their social anxiety like defiance, and their big, unpolished opinions like an existential threat to our authority. We expect a developing brain — one that has only been on this planet for a handful of years — to possess the seamless, regulated composure that full-grown adults with decades of life experience still haven't mastered.
Let's stop setting up a double standard where children are the only ones penalized for having human limitations.
They are entirely allowed to have a difficult afternoon. They are allowed to find a new room overwhelming, to push back when they feel uncomfortable, and to unravel when their capacity hits absolute zero.
Instead of aggressively prosecuting their lack of control, we need to focus on our own. When we stop policing their right to have a hard time and start holding ourselves to the standard of being the steady, un-triggered anchors in their storms, we finally build a house where safety is a reality, not a performance. ❤️
Image Quote Credit: ❣️
