08/21/2026
One of the biggest misunderstandings about meditation is summed up in something I hear all the time:
“I can’t meditate because I can’t stop thinking.”
But the goal of meditation isn’t necessarily to stop thinking.
It’s to change our relationship with our thoughts.
Without much awareness, the process can happen almost instantaneously:
Thought → belief → emotion → impulse → behavior
We think something, believe it, feel something because of it, and react accordingly.
Meditation begins creating space inside that process:
Thought → awareness → curiosity → discernment → choice → response
And sometimes the most interesting part of meditation is simply sitting still long enough to watch this happen.
I’m uncomfortable.
This isn’t working.
I can’t stop thinking.
I’ve been sitting here long enough.
I need to get up.
And eventually…
“That’s it. I can’t do this anymore.”
But that’s another thought.
You can actually sit there and watch your mind manufacture the argument for why you need to stop sitting there.
😂
And THAT is the practice.
Not forcing yourself to remain still.
Not suppressing your thoughts.
Not trying to create some perfectly empty mind.
It’s recognizing:
There is a thought… and there is an awareness capable of observing that thought.
That tiny bit of space can change everything.
This principle appears across seemingly different traditions.
In CBT, we learn that thoughts aren’t automatically facts.
In ACT, cognitive defusion teaches us to experience thoughts as mental events rather than commands we must obey.
In recovery, we learn that an urge doesn’t require an action.
In Eastern mindfulness practices, we learn to observe thoughts arising and passing without clinging to every one of them.
Different language.
Very similar skill.
And the more we practice it, the more discernment becomes possible.
Some thoughts arise and disappear when we stop feeding them.
Some come from fear, conditioning, insecurity, or old protective patterns.
And some continue returning because there really IS something underneath them asking to be explored.
Instead of automatically believing those thoughts—or desperately trying to get rid of them—we can become curious:
Why does this keep coming up?
What emotion is underneath it?
What is this thought trying to protect me from?
What belief is underneath this?
Is that belief actually true anymore?
This is where meditation becomes much more than relaxation.
It becomes a practice of self-awareness, emotional regulation, and emotional/spiritual development.
Our culture spends an enormous amount of time teaching people what to think.
We spend considerably less time teaching people how to relate to the experience of thinking itself.
Maybe we don’t need to become better at controlling every thought that enters our minds.
Maybe we need to become better at recognizing that every thought doesn’t deserve our belief, attention, investigation—or obedience.
The goal isn’t to become thoughtless.
It’s to become less obedient to every thought.
