04/09/2026
I’ve been with Amy for 4 years. Amy has 2 kids from a previous marriage. I have a strong identity woven with independence and adventure
I didn’t grow up imagining a wedding or kids. I never knew what I wanted. In many ways, I still don’t. So when I fell in love with a woman with 2 kids, I knew I was in for the challenge of a lifetime. I was never drawn to kids, found them rather annoying if I’m being honest.
But I do know that I need to evolve. I need to change. I’m tired of my old self. And the greatest change of all is always on the other side of discomfort and fear.
I can’t even begin to tell you the discomfort and fear I live with trying to integrate into a family that I wasn’t part of from the beginning. The only thing that quells my fear and resentment is walking towards it.
We went on a long vaca to Hawaii and had an amazingly positive experience together. I don’t live with Amy and the kids and with my tendency towards avoidance, I love to flee back to my apartment for space, peace, quiet, all the things every parent not so secretly desires.
So to spend 8 days fully together was a big deal. And I was flooded with overwhelm on the way there, shared it with Amy, and worked through it. Overall we had an amazing time, and I actually find myself missing it.
Changing an identity you’ve had your whole life doesn’t happen overnight. But I don’t want to have all the free time and no responsibility anymore. It feels stale, boring. These kids and this woman bring so much purpose to my life. And I do believe the shift towards them is speeding up (for me 🐌)