07/10/2026
Divorce taught me to stop obsessing over what my ex-husband did to me and start asking myself the harder question: What part of me chose him to begin with?
That wasn’t an easy truth to sit with.
It’s easy to stay focused on someone else’s actions. It’s harder to look inward and realize that sometimes our conditioning makes decisions long before our conscious mind ever does. My marriage forced me to meet the little girl inside of me who confused inconsistency with love, who believed she had to earn affection, and who normalized things that should have never felt normal.
Healing has required a level of honesty I never knew I was capable of. The kind of honesty that strips away every excuse and every story you’ve been telling yourself. It’s uncomfortable. It’s vulnerable. But it’s also the most freeing thing I’ve ever experienced.
The woman I am today is not the same woman who boarded that plane a year ago. She’s not even the same woman I was a few weeks ago. Every layer I’ve peeled back has brought me closer to the version of myself I remember before life convinced me to shrink. And I can’t wait to keep meeting her.
I believe in radical accountability. Not because I caused what happened to me, but because I have the power to choose what happens next. I chose that relationship. I chose to stay longer than I should have. And eventually, I chose myself.
I can’t even put into words how light I feel.
I would never wish divorce on anyone. But I will always pray for the courage of the woman who has forgotten herself trying to love someone committed to hurting her.
You do not have to stay.
God is not asking you to sacrifice yourself to prove your love. Love should feel safe. It should honor your spirit, not slowly erase it.
Today, I thank God that I chose me.
And for the first time in a very long time…
I am free.