10/23/2026
Pamela Ada Grant Allen, known lovingly as Pam (and by many adoring nicknames) was born on March 26, 1951, in Hartford, Connecticut, and passed away on October 20, 2026, in Fort Wayne, Indiana, after her body wore out from a lifelong battle with heart diseases which also led to severe kidney and lung diseases and vascular dementia. Pam was a woman of deep faith, great intelligence and wit, and uncommon resilience, who lived her life as a Christian with a prayerful and loving heart.
She was the daughter of James and Ruth Grant, who passed before her. She is survived by many who loved her, including her cherished sister Cheryl Grant Avery of Black Mountain, North Carolina, whom she loved fiercely. She shared 54 devoted years of marriage with her beloved husband, Stephen. Together they built a life marked by steadfast love, hard work, and a fair amount of her practical magic. She was the proud mother of Jennifer, with her husband Cesar Pacheco of Chicago, Illinois; and Paul, with his wife Elizabeth (nee Waters) of Fort Wayne, Indiana. She was also a proud grandmother to Spencer, Parker, and Hunter, who brought her great joy and gave her many reasons to smile and laugh. She offered wise advice to all whether they asked for it or not.
Pam graduated from Roy C. Ketcham High School in New York, where she excelled and proved that brilliance does not bow to small-mindedness: she earned an A in both physics and calculus despite being told by a teacher that girls did not “belong” in those classes. She then studied education, mathematics, and computer science at the University of Hartford, all while tutoring other students. She loved camping and being a tomboy in the best possible sense, including building a tree fort with her sister. Thus, she was a lifelong Girl Scout, including serving as a leader at the council level, which makes perfect sense because she was always prepared, especially for challenges.
Her Catholic ministries were many and meaningful. After being raised Presbyterian, she agreed to convert to Catholicism when she married, and then proceeded to wholeheartedly learn about, and practice, Catholicism more than many of those born into the faith. She started and led a children’s nursery during Mass at her church; served as a lector, a Eucharistic minister and adorer; and prayed daily as a prayer warrior on more than one prayer line, especially for the souls in purgatory. She prayed the chaplet of the Divine Mercy of Jesus with devotion and perseverance.
Her life at home was a testimony to diligence, love, and creativity. While raising two amazing children, she grew and canned vegetables and fruit; made healthy food, including fresh baked bread and homemade yogurt, mostly from recipes she created; and sewed, knitted, and crocheted clothing for her family — even creating wedding dresses for herself, a sister-in-law, and her daughter. She also, with great skill and perhaps a little divine assistance, tamed her husband. She made a home that was warm, nourishing, and full of the kind of care which can only be given by a heart that loves deeply. When her children were old enough to care for themselves after school, Pam excelled in multiple jobs, including serving as a purchasing agent and church secretary, to which she brought competence, order, and grace.
Pam loved life with passion and a spirit that was both adventurous and practical. She loved sunbathing and swimming, especially at a beach by any ocean; and also worked hard to be healthy by power walking, biking and lifting weights. In addition to traveling to beaches, she loved to travel to visit family. She was an avid bowler, starting in youth leagues, to a couple’s league with her husband, to just bowling with friends and family. She was a ravenous reader of the Bible, along with fiction and nonfiction books; and she loved animals, especially dogs and horses. She was a generous hostess who went out of her way to care for neighbors and family, especially by cooking and baking for them. She was also an excellent handywoman who loved maintaining and fixing things from cars, computers and appliances, to anything that dared break in her presence.
She loved cookies, especially shortbread, and also enjoyed cake, caramel, chocolate, peanut butter, and anything sweet, which was fitting for a woman who was part Scottish. A beautiful summary of her life is Pam was one tough cookie who loved (and baked many) cookies. She was intelligent, faith-filled, and creative, and she used those gifts to bless everyone around her. Over the years, Pam wrote about the many miracles of God she experienced, hoping to share her testimony to encourage others to know Jesus. Her family helped her turn those stories and more into her autobiography in 2024, God is Love: A Collection of Life Stories, Blessings, and Grace. That title fit her perfectly, because her life truly was a collection of blessings, grace, courage, and a few good laughs along the way. She understood we must keep our faith, even when we are suffering, whether it’s in a hospital or not, when we must simply trust God and not give up.
May she rest in the peace of Christ, whom she served so faithfully, and may perpetual light shine upon her. In other words, may the angels kiss her and the devil miss her.
Pamela‘s earthly remains are being cremated, to be buried at a later date by her immediate family. There will be a funeral Mass for her on Saturday, November 21 at 11 AM at St. Vincent de Paul Catholic Parish in Fort Wayne, Indiana (saintv.org). A luncheon and memorial service will follow for all on the campus of the parish.
In lieu of flowers, please make donations as she wanted, in her memory to the Society of Saint Vincent de Paul for the poor (ssvpusa.org), the American Heart Association (heart.org), and/or the Humane Society (humaneworld.org).
