Faith Abshire, PLPC - Counseling & Coaching

05/22/2026

Tonight's question to ask your spouse — and actually sit with the answer:

"What has felt hardest for you lately that I may not have noticed?"

No fixing. No defensiveness. Just listening.

Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is make space for what your partner may have been quietly carrying.

05/21/2026

Not because you don't love each other.
But because your marriage is the safest place.

The problem: when two dysregulated nervous systems try to connect, they often collide instead.

Small things become big things.
Silence feels like rejection.
A tone triggers a full argument.

This isn't a character issue. It's a capacity issue.

And it's worth understanding.

05/20/2026

Your nervous system is reading THREAT.
Your heart rate RISES.
Your thinking brain GOES partially OFFLINE.

In that state, you're not having a productive conversation — you're two activated nervous systems trying to "win."

The most powerful move: Pause. Say "I need five minutes." Walk away — not to abandon the conversation, but to let your system regulate.

Come back when you can think again. The conversation will still be there.

05/19/2026

Here's a small shift that changes everything in conflict:

Start with "I feel…" instead of "You always…" or "You never…"

"You never listen to me" closes a door.
"I feel unheard when I'm talking and your phone is out" opens one.

One statement invites a wall. The other invites a conversation.

Try it this week — even once — and notice what happens.

05/17/2026

05/03/2026

A wife who feels seen — not just as a mother, not just as the scheduler of all things, but as a whole person with dreams, desires, and a life outside of the family —

that wife shows up differently.

She has more to give. She's more patient, more present, more herself.

Husbands: one of the most powerful things you can do for your marriage is regularly ask your wife, "What do you need just for you right now?" — and then help make it happen.

04/30/2026

You wouldn't skip oil changes and wonder why the engine fails. You wouldn't ignore the yard for months and be surprised by the weeds.

Your marriage requires intentional investment by both you and your spouse — time that isn't about kids or work. Time that is purely about the two of you.

It doesn't have to be elaborate. A long drive. A dinner with no phones. A walk and a real conversation.
Can't leave the house? Put the kids to bed and have a picnic on the floor or outside under the stars.

Plan it. Protect it. Show up for it.

04/28/2026

1) EYE CONTACT + 2) TOUCH

A hand on the shoulder. A hand held during a hard conversation. A hug that lasts longer than two seconds.

We communicate constantly through our bodies — safety, presence, connection.

When words are hard, your body can say: I'm here. I see you. I'm not going anywhere.

Don't underestimate the small physical gestures. They carry enormous weight.