06/09/2026
Does it feel like a constant battle to keep unwanted thoughts and feelings at bay? Do they intrude into your daily life, distracting you from important tasks, confuse your relationship with loved ones, or keep you up at night as they dance around your pillow with tiny crashing cymbals?
There are lots of things you can do about that, but most of them involve some form of violence--the numbing effects of drugs, alcohol, or doomscrolling; the shame and judgment of self-criticism and subsequently "trying to be better"; the mental jiujitsu of wrenching your thoughts and emotions into a different shape; and don't forget blaming others--that's a perennial favorite!
But the problem with these well-loved tactics is that, while they might provide some temporary relief, ultimately they perpetuate and exacerbate the problem: you are at war with yourself.
We often take a heroic approach to such endeavors. Because we feel threatened by what we don't understand, we seek to conquer, subdue, control, vanquish, and colonize the inner life as if it were an adversary. But it's not--it's you!
Enter Internal Family Systems Therapy (IFS), a tremendously compassionate therapeutic modality for bringing harmony to the inner life. It's time to heal old wounds, release burdens from long ago, and discover that those parts of us we find most troubling are in fact the ones who hold our greatest gifts and talents.
Questions:
1. What is one part of you that is difficult to acknowledge--that you tend to turn away from? This could show up as a deep sorrow, a burning rage, or an inert hopelessness.
2. What is it like, what do you notice, when this part shows up? Does it bring with it certain thoughts, memories, emotions, physical sensations, or behaviors?
3. What is it like to experiment with turning toward that difficult part of you? Does it change anything?
Leave me a comment or reach out at www.jessecardin.com if you're ready to stop the war inside.
