07/27/2021
An imagined conversation with the CDC:
ME: CDC, should I get poke if I already had Covid?
CDC: âYes, you should be poked regardless of whether you already had COVID-19. Thatâs because experts do not yet know how long you are protected from getting sick again after recovering from COVID-19.â
CDC: Oh, okay, we donât know how long natural immunity lasts. Got it. So, how long does poke-induced immunity last?
ANSWER: âThere is still a lot we are learning about COVID-19 pokes and CDC is constantly reviewing evidence and updating guidance. We donât know how long protection lasts for those who are poked.â
QUESTION: Okay ⌠but wait a second. I thought you said the reason I need the poke was because we donât know how long my natural immunity lasts, but it seems like youâre saying we ALSO donât know how long poke immunity lasts either. So, how exactly is the poke immunity better than my natural immunity?
CDC: âŚ
QUESTION: Uh ⌠alright. But, havenât there been a bunch of studies suggesting that natural immunity could last for years or decades?
CDC: Yes.
NEWYORKTIMES: âYears, maybe even decades, according to a new study.â
ME: Ah. So natural immunity might last longer than poke immunity?
CDC: Possibly. You never know.
ME: Okay. If I get the poke, does that mean I wonât get sick?
BRITAIN: Nope. We are just now entering a seasonal spike and about half of our infections and hospital admissions are poked people.
ME: CDC, is this true? Are there a lot of people in the U.S. catching Covid after getting the poke?
CDC: We stopped tracking breakthrough cases. We accept voluntary reports of breakthroughs but arenât out there looking for them.
ME: Does that mean that if someone comes in the hospital with Covid, you donât track them because theyâve been poked? You only track the UN-poked Covid cases?
CDC: Thatâs right.
ME: Oh, okay. Hmm. Well, if I can still get sick after I get the poke, how is it helping me?
CDC: We never said you wouldnât get sick. We said it would reduce your chances of serious illness or death.
ME: Oh, sorry. Alright, exactly how much does it reduce my chance of serious illness or death.
CDC: We donât know âexactly.â
ME: Oh. Then whatâs your best estimate for how much risk reduction there is?
CDC: We donât know, okay? Next question.
ME: Um, if Iâm healthy and donât want the poke, is there any reason I should get it?
CDC: Yes, for the collective.
ME: How does the collective benefit from me getting poked?
CDC: Because you could spread the virus to someone else who might get sick and die.
ME: Can a poked person spread the virus to someone else?
CDC: Yes.
ME: So if I get poked, I could still spread the virus to someone else?
CDC: Yes.
ME: But I thought you just said, the REASON I should get poked was to prevent me spreading the virus? How does that make sense if I can still catch Covid and spread it after getting the poke?
CDC: Never mind that. The other thing is, if you stay unpoked, thereâs a chance the virus could possibly mutate into a strain that escapes the pokes protection, putting all poked people at risk.
ME: So the poke stops the virus from mutating?
CDC: No.
ME: So it can still mutate in poked people?
CDC: Yes.
ME: This seems confusing. If the poke doesnât stop mutations, and it doesnât stop infections, then how does me getting poked help prevent a more deadly strain from evolving to escape the poke?
CDC: You arenât listening, okay? The bottom line is: as long as you are unpoked, you pose a threat to poked people.
ME: But what KIND of threat??
CDC: The threat that they could get a serious case of Covid and possibly die.
ME: My brain hurts. Didnât you JUST say that the poke doesnât keep people from catching Covid, but prevents a serious case or dying? Now it seems like youâre saying poked people can still easily die from Covid even after they got the poke just by running into an unpoked person! Which is it??
CDC: Thatâs it, weâre hanging up now.
ME: Wait! I just want to make sure I understand all this.