Dr Kathy Nickerson

Dr Kathy Nickerson Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Author, Affair Recovery & Infidelity Specialist
More at: https://linktr.ee/drkathynickerson

08/23/2026

If I could go back through the Lindsay Clancy story and circle 1 moment where I wish someone had made a different decision, these would actually be 3!

First, when Lindsay reportedly said she had been awake for four nights and wasn’t tired, I wish that had triggered a much deeper evaluation for possible mania or a mixed mood state, and serious consideration of whether a mood stabilizer was needed immediately.

Second, I wish Dr. Tufts had obtained and reviewed Lindsay’s prior records. Those records may have provided important context about her symptoms, including the nursing observations, that could have changed how her medications and diagnosis were approached.

And third, I wish extreme caution had been used with antidepressant treatment if Lindsay was already developing symptoms of mania or psychosis. In a vulnerable person, antidepressants can sometimes worsen mood instability, agitation, or manic symptoms.

Would any one of these changes have prevented what happened? We can’t know that. But looking backward, these feel like three important opportunities where a different clinical decision might have radically changed Lindsay Clancy’s trajectory.

And that may be one of the most heartbreaking parts of this entire case.

Thank you Dr. C ( Them Eat Cake )for the amazing psycho-pharmacological breakdowns of this case, you are brilliant! 

08/23/2026

If you know a man who has been betrayed and is struggling, please check out Adam's army. Adam's army is a very special and affordable support group dealing with affair recovery, cheating, infidelity, and betrayal trauma - just for men by men. My colleague, licensed marriage and family Therapist Adam Niseneson, also known as the betrayal shrink - is launching this special group on September 1. The cost is $45 a month for inaugural members and you get group calls, a brotherhood forum, podcast access, and all sorts of tools and resources. I'm looking to sponsor one man for a three month package. If you're interested please email me, otherwise, please search for the betrayal shrink Adam's army to find the place where you can learn more. 

08/23/2026

Dr. Phillip Resnick’s testimony may have given the defense some of its strongest evidence that Lindsay Clancy was not criminally responsible because of mental disease or defect.

Three things really stood out to me.

First, Resnick testified that Lindsay was experiencing a command hallucination and a “delusion of influence.” In other words, she didn’t simply hear a voice. She believed an outside force was controlling her body and that she had to obey its command. That goes directly to the question of whether her mental illness left her able to control or conform her behavior to the law.

Second, Resnick testified that Lindsay believed what she was doing was morally right. He described this as “altruistic filicide.” In her psychotic state, she believed her children would be better off going to heaven with her than living without her. This distinction is incredibly important. A person can understand the physical act they are committing while still being so profoundly delusional that they cannot appreciate its wrongfulness.

Third, Resnick found no evidence that Lindsay was faking or exaggerating her psychiatric symptoms. In fact, his assessment suggested the opposite: she tended to minimize them. He also testified that she had concealed some of her frightening thoughts before the killings because she was afraid her children would be taken away.

None of this means the jury has to accept Resnick’s conclusions. They will weigh his testimony against the prosecution’s evidence and experts. But his testimony gives the defense a very clear explanation for how Lindsay could have appeared organized and purposeful while simultaneously being profoundly psychotic.

And ultimately, that is the question in this case: not simply whether Lindsay Clancy knew what she was doing, but whether mental disease or defect left her unable to appreciate its wrongfulness or control her behavior.

08/21/2026

You do not have to compete with Brooke Monk. Or anyone else you see on social media.

I watched Brooke’s videos from Hawaii and thought, “Wow, she is beautiful. She’s young, fit, adorable, successful, and seems to be having so much fun.” And then I thought about all the young girls watching her who might be thinking: Why don’t I look like that? Why isn’t my life like that? What’s wrong with me?

Sweet girl, nothing is wrong with you. And you have absolutely no idea yet how your story is going to turn out.

When I was in high school, there was a girl who seemed to have everything I wanted. She was literally a model. She was gorgeous, popular, homecoming queen ...the whole package.

And me? I was a fluffy, unpopular, nerdy science girl. I was awkward. I didn’t have many friends. I was kind of weird. If you had asked 16-year-old me which one of us was going to have the better life, I absolutely would have picked her.

Fast-forward 35 years, and I wouldn’t trade lives with her for anything.

That nerdy little science girl grew up and built a life filled with more love, happiness, adventure, purpose, and success than she ever could have imagined.

So please don’t look at Brooke, or any beautiful, successful person on social media, and use their highlight reel as evidence that you aren’t enough.

You don’t need her body. You don’t need her face. You don’t need her popularity or her life.

You need to keep becoming you.

Your story is just getting started. And the things that make you feel different, awkward, nerdy, fluffy, unpopular, or “not enough” today may have absolutely nothing to do with the beautiful life waiting for you.

Give yourself time. You might be amazed by who you become. ❤️

And sending a big hug to Monk - Charlie and I love you.

08/21/2026

I feel badly for Emily Thorndike.

Emily ( ♡ BPD & CPTSD Therapist ) is the therapist and former McLean Hospital employee who went viral after making a TikTok about the Lindsay Clancy case and what treatment was actually available at McLean. Then she ended up on the witness stand herself—and she said something that came across badly. Now people across social media are criticizing and mocking her for it.

I understand the criticism. It was a silly thing to say. But I also understand how it happened. Emily was nervous. Testifying under oath, in a courtroom, knowing thousands of people are watching and analyzing every word you say is incredibly stressful. I’ve been nervous in high-pressure situations too, and sometimes our mouths get ahead of our brains.

So if Emily were my friend, I’d tell her to borrow crisis communication expert Molly McPherson’s ( McPherson ) brilliant Indestructible PR strategy:

Own it. Explain it. Promise it.

Own it: Don’t fight with the internet or pretend you didn’t say what you said. Acknowledge it.

Explain it: Give people the context—not as an excuse, but as an explanation. “I was nervous, I was under tremendous pressure, and I expressed myself badly.”

Promise it: Tell people what you learned and what you’ll do differently going forward.

Then I would tell Emily to close the apps and take a two-week social media vacation. Don’t argue with strangers. Don’t read 10,000 comments. Don’t keep feeding the story. Let the internet find something else to talk about.

You can think Emily said something silly and still have compassion for Emily Thorndike the human being. I certainly do.

08/21/2026

with - If you’ve ever wondered whether affair rage is real, this video is pretty powerful evidence that it is!

Of course, destroying someone’s property with an ax is not an appropriate response to discovering cheating. It doesn’t help you heal, it can get you into serious legal trouble, and it can make an already devastating situation much worse.

But I do think this video illustrates something important: the emotional intensity of betrayal can be enormous. Discovering an affair can unleash rage, panic, grief, humiliation, disbelief, and a level of emotional pain that people often describe as unlike anything they’ve experienced before.

I sometimes wish people contemplating an affair could feel, just for five minutes, what their partner may feel when they discover the betrayal. I think many would stop and think twice, three times, maybe even ten times before making a choice that can cause this much pain.

Affair rage is real. The feelings are understandable. What we do with those feelings still matters.

08/20/2026

Have you been wondering why I’m suddenly talking about the Lindsay Clancy case, celebrity relationships like Harry and Meghan, and other topics when you originally followed me for affair recovery? I get it. It’s a little different!

But here’s something you might not know: I actually got my start on social media talking about true crime and celebrity relationships... and I missed it.

I absolutely love the work I do helping people heal from affairs, infidelity, cheating, and betrayal. It’s incredibly meaningful to me. But it’s also heavy work. Adding some true crime, psychology, relationships, and pop culture into the mix gives me a little breathing room and lets me have some fun.

There’s another reason too: these videos introduce me to people who might never search for “affair recovery” until the day they desperately need it. If talking about something they’re already interested in helps them eventually find information that helps them heal, I’m all for it.

So yes, I’m probably going to keep mixing things up around here! I promise the affair recovery content isn’t going anywhere. I’ll continue sharing everything I know about healing from infidelity, our research, and what actually helps couples recover.

We’re just adding a little spice to the menu. ❤️

08/20/2026

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are reportedly moving back to the UK, and the question I keep coming back to is: what changed?

Because six years ago, Harry and Meghan seemed absolutely certain that leaving Britain was necessary for their mental health, their marriage, and the wellbeing of their family. Meghan in particular described being deeply unhappy there. So for her to agree to return with Archie and Lilibet feels significant.

My guess is that there are several things happening at once.

First, King Charles. Harry has clearly wanted to repair that relationship, and with his father’s health concerns, perhaps Harry is realizing that time is precious. He may also want Archie and Lilibet to actually know their grandfather.

Second, the children. They’re getting older, and Harry has always talked about wanting them to know his family, his country, and their British heritage.

And third—and this is purely my speculation—I wonder whether life in America simply hasn’t given Harry and Meghan everything they hoped it would. They gained freedom and privacy, but perhaps they also lost family, roots, and a sense of belonging that became more important with time.

Interestingly, this doesn’t necessarily mean they’re returning to royal life. They can remain non-working royals and still rebuild relationships with the family.

To me, the fascinating psychological question isn’t really why would Harry want to go home? I think that’s fairly easy to understand.

It’s what changed for Meghan that made going back feel worth it?

What do you think? Family reconciliation? The kids? King Charles? A change in their feelings about America? Or something else entirely?

08/20/2026

The Lindsay Clancy trial is wrapping up, and I think we may hear closing arguments tomorrow or Monday. So if you were giving the closing argument, what would you say?

If I were Kevin Reddington, I think I’d bring the jury back to the big picture: Lindsay’s mental health was clearly deteriorating. She was desperately seeking help, but the care she received may not have matched the seriousness of what was happening. The defense has argued that bipolar disorder was missed, that treatment may have worsened her symptoms, and that she ultimately became psychotic.

Then I’d remind the jury who Lindsay was before this happened. She was a devoted mother who read books about how to be the best parent she could be. Her family and in-laws described someone who loved her children deeply. She chose a career caring for others. And Dr. Paul Zeizel ultimately testified that, in his opinion, she did not appreciate the wrongfulness of her actions.

The defense’s argument, in a nutshell: Lindsay Clancy in her right mind would never have done this. If she was psychotic and unable to appreciate the wrongfulness of her actions, then under Massachusetts law, she should not be held criminally responsible.

But the prosecution gets the final word too. What do you think THEY need to say to convince this jury that Lindsay was criminally responsible?

Let’s talk about it.

08/20/2026

If your partner is refusing to talk about the affair, you may feel like screaming, “This is the LEAST you can do after what you’ve put me through!” And I understand why. Your anger, hurt, and frustration are completely valid.

But if your partner is avoidant, anger and pressure may make them shut down even more.

And yes, I know how unfair that feels.

Being gentle doesn’t mean pretending you’re not angry. It doesn’t mean minimizing the betrayal or protecting them from the consequences of their choices. It means communicating in a way that makes it more likely they’ll stay in the conversation instead of retreating from it.

After infidelity, we need communication flowing. We need the straying partner to be able to answer questions, tolerate difficult emotions, and gradually become safer to talk to.

So if you’re trying to recover from an affair with an avoidant partner, think less about “How do I make them understand how angry I am?” and more about “How do I create enough safety that we can actually talk about what happened?”

It isn’t fair that the betrayed partner may have to help create that safety after being hurt so deeply. But sometimes what is effective and what is fair are two different things.

Sending you both a big hug.

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