Still Becoming One

05/13/2026

Such important information on Betrayal Trauma!

Research suggests that about 30 percent of marriages will be impacted by infidelity.

Betrayed partners who undergo these humiliating marriage events were six times more likely to be diagnosed with a major depressive disorder.

Betrayal does more than shatter a relationship; it dims the lights in our soul.

One key brain region involved in processing betrayal trauma is Broca's area — the speech center of the brain. When we experience this kind of harm, we struggle to put our thoughts and feelings into words. You may have experienced this yourself — when heartbreak renders you speechless, or when the only thing you can say is, "I have no words."

If you've experienced betrayal, your speechlessness is not weakness. It is biology. And it is the beginning of a story that can still be reclaimed.

Get your copy of Desire here: https://ow.ly/4QXZ50YYpjM



📍 Source: Desire, Ch. 13

05/04/2026

https://journeyoffreedom.substack.com/p/self-care-isnt-a-luxury

04/30/2026

YES! Let's be kind and curious about what brings this to our lives.

A lot of us have built beautiful systems around our pain.

Morning routines. Productivity frameworks. Health protocols. Self-optimization. We read every book and execute every habit.

And none of it touches the thing underneath.

A desire for mastery can be a trauma response. My clients with unaddressed trauma often flock to frameworks that promise control — the unconscious goal being to never feel surprised, powerless, or incompetent again.

But here's the harder truth: the opposite of shame isn't mastery or shamelessness, but vulnerability.

The goal isn't to build better systems. It's to grieve and befriend the pain those systems were designed to outrun.

03/21/2026

Are you ready? New group starting in April!

03/15/2026

Navigating Purpose, Identity, and Midlife in Marriage

03/13/2026

When Your Spouse Starts to Change: Navigating Purpose, Identity, and Midlife in Marriage

03/12/2026

Such. Good. Stuff. Can we be curious about our desires, or lack thereof? Jay's new book is a game-changer. Be sure to check it out!

Think about your lawn. In the U.S., our fixation on tidy, manicured yards traces back to wealthy French and English aristocrats in the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries — where maintaining a lawn was a status symbol for the affluent. If our preferences for something as seemingly benign as lawns can be shaped by historical forces, how much truer is this for our more consequential desires?

Sexual desires are no exception. P*rn*graphy, in particular, has played a significant role in reshaping s*xual norms.

⚠️ Trigger Warning: One striking example is the rise of s*xual choking over the last fifteen years. A 2011 study found that 13 percent of women reported being choked by a partner.

By 2024, a survey found that 61 percent of women had been choked during s*x. This rapid shift raises important questions about consent, safety, and who — and what — is shaping our desires.

The stakes are high. If we don't interrogate the origins of our desires, we surrender their authorship to others — whether to trauma, corporations, or cultural scripts. The question isn't just "What do I want?" but "Why do I want it?" Until we ask, we'll keep prioritizing the desires we've been sold over the ones that might set us free.

This excerpt is from the Introduction of Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow (pp. xviii–xix), in the section titled "Our Desires Are Shaped by Forces We May Not Even Be Aware Of."

Desire is available now. Grab your copy here: https://ow.ly/FL0j50Yt2o5

03/12/2026

What do I do when my spouse starts to change?

03/08/2026

Jay Stringer on the Still Becoming One Podcast discussing his new book Desire!

03/06/2026

Desire: The Longings Inside Us - with Jay Stringer!
Don't miss the new book.