10/30/2026
Becoming a mother changes you in ways that go far beyond sleep deprivation and schedule shifts. If you've felt like you don't quite recognize yourself since having a baby, there’s actually a specific term to describe the feeling.
It's called matrescence, and it describes the identity transformation of becoming a mother. Understanding it can change how you see what you're going through, so let’s break down some common assumptions.
Myth: “Feeling lost or unlike yourself after becoming a mother means something is wrong.”
Fact: Becoming a mother is a profound identity shift, comparable in depth to adolescence. Feeling unsettled is a normal part of that process, not a sign of failure.
Myth: “If you love your baby, you should feel like yourself again fairly quickly.”
Fact: Matrescence takes time. Ambivalence, grief for your former life and uncertainty about your new identity can all coexist with deep love.
Myth: “Since matrescence is normal, I don’t need help or support to navigate it.”
Fact: Normal doesn't mean easy. Support makes this transition a lot less isolating.