Jennifer L. Darling, LCSW, LSCSW

06/18/2026

www.rageagainstaddiction.org

06/18/2026

06/17/2026

One of the most common misunderstandings about limits is confusing them with demands, ultimatums, or control. A limit is about what you need and what you will do. It's not about dictating what your partner does.

Telling them to stop something is a demand. Threatening to leave if they don't change is an ultimatum. Controlling who they see is not a limit, it's control. These things might come from a real and valid need, but they're not the same thing as a healthy limit.

A real limit says "I need this" not "you must do this."

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06/17/2026

DBT Skills. Module 4. Distress Tolerance. Skill. Identifying & understanding triggers. nb : The way to address triggers is not to always avoid them. DBT helps us increase our window of tolerance and practice moving through them.

06/14/2026

What I initially believed, was that the goal was to have a nervous system that was regulated most of time. What I discovered was the goal is actually to have a flexible nervous system, because our nervous system is meant to fluctuate. Having autonomic awareness allows us to build our nervous system flexibility and emotional intelligence.

Also, co-regulation is one of the best ways to build nervous system flexibility. So if a child receives lots of opportunities for co-regulation from a young age, they are more likely to have nervous system flexibility, throughout their lives. Whereas, if we did not experience effective co-regulation, from birth, we may find we have to teach ourselves those skills later in life.

This is a little excerpt from my book….

Finding Your Calm: Responsive Parents Guide to Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation
�This book combines my knowledge of child development, brain science and trauma to offer parents a unique resource that includes lots of exercises, reflections, insights and also… links to additional research, articles and videos that can help support your healing and learning journey.

Link in bio

06/08/2026

Credits:

06/08/2026

DBT - Dialectical Behavioural Therapy
Wisdom from Dr.Glennon Doyle.

06/04/2026

DBTSkills. Emotion Regulation.

06/03/2026

DBT Skills. Distress Tolerance Module. Skill : Radical Acceptance.

Important : Acceptance does not mean agreement.

05/31/2026

When "regulation" becomes code for quieting, dampening, or getting rid of what we feel... it can start to look a lot like a more socially acceptable version of avoidance.

And then we're not really working with the nervous system - we're working against it.

Because emotions aren't glitches to be smoothed out. They're signals.

And if we're constantly trying to whack-a-mole them away, the system never gets to learn: *this is safe to feel*

You might feel more in control in the moment. But over time, you can end up more anxious, more flat, and less sure of what you actually feel. – [on Instagram]