08/29/2026
Dolly's Balance
Floods of people are weighing in on Dolly Parton’s life. She brought loads of talent, personality, generosity, and inclusiveness to the world. But what I recently saw was an 80-year-old woman with ongoing dreams who balanced that with recognition of her limits.
Dolly was vivacious in spirit even in her last months. She continued to support projects with an eye to what the future might hold. Yet there are quotes in which she recognizes her failing health.
“I’ve told you before, all my fans, that I’ve had a few little health issues and sometimes I get a little dizzy and I get dehydrated. And I’m dehydrated,” she said. “My Nashville doctor has kind of clipped my wings, saying, ‘You ain’t traveling this week.’” https://lnkd.in/gNt9mcgm
In my opinion, this is a beautiful harmony. Dolly’s joie de vivre persisted alongside a sensible outlook. Many people precariously offset this hope for more time against the truth that life is coming to its conclusion.
One 80-year-old, Gerald, did everything right. He lived clean. He had always maintained a healthy weight and rarely had any alcohol. He never smoked. He still played a little basketball with his grandkids. He couldn’t believe it when he was diagnosed with widespread malignant melanoma. The prognosis was months.
He was determined to continue his pattern of putting his head down and plowing through. In fact, when his doctor tried to talk to him seriously about end-of-life planning, he stormed out of the office bellowing, “I’m going to live forever!”
With a denial of his terminal illness, he robbed himself and his family of the opportunity to tie up loose ends.
Compare that to 70-year-old Cheryl. Cheryl often peppered her conversations with “Well, I am old now.” Her friends talked about traveling, but she shook her head and pointed out that all the new things would be too much for her at her age.
Cheryl’s health was fine. She was functioning well. In fact, she had just retired last year and still had a lot of energy. Her outlook was just colored by thinking that she fit into the category of “old.”
After caring for thousands of patients over the years, Dolly's attitude is unusual. Without a doubt, grief confronts you with acceptance of limited days left. On the other hand, those who accept old age too early may lose out on meaningful engagement.
Dolly had hope countered with realism. When I am 80, I aspire to keep doing as much as I can but accept and adapt to the changes that confront me. Where do you aim to be when you are old?
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