Affinity Pathfinder

09/24/2023

Hi there , Just a friendly reminder that this page will close in a few short days on October 1st. I would absolutely love if you continued to follow me and my private practice at Affinity Counseling of Colorado.

09/11/2023

I’m excited to announce that as my practice is growing, I will be closing this page soon. You can find all future insights and updates by following Affinity Counseling of Colorado. More exciting news to come!

02/25/2023

Start healing soon!

02/24/2023

For the past year, I’ve been putting my heart and soul into building my private practice behind the scenes and now I’m almost ready to share it with the world...

I’ll be launching my new website by the end of the week so stay tuned! I’m the meantime, I’d love if you’d follow my FB page and Insta

The journey from trauma to truth starts with affinity

06/28/2022

Grief and injustice have a fire, capable to destroy or to fuel. The key is to get the fire to move.

TW: Language includes a visualization of fire and could be triggering to some. Injustice of any kind is exhausting for the body and mind, and it affects all ...

04/24/2021

(Instagram)

04/22/2021

Posted • When the very fabric of our society is built on and fueled by white-body supremacy and unresolved trauma, it’s important to remember...⠀
⠀
Accountability alone doesn't resolve trauma.⠀
⠀
We can’t think ourselves out of trauma, and we can't convict, vote, legislate, or govern ourselves to healing.⠀
⠀
I’m all for celebrating accountability that creates more favorable conditions for healing. However, when it comes to resolving trauma, Stephen Porges reminds us that...⠀
⠀
“The removal of threat is not the same thing as the experience of safety.”⠀
⠀
This distinction is important when it comes to understanding trauma. It’s not enough to remove a threat. Even if we could remove all the threats — your body needs to feel safe again (or for the first time).⠀
⠀
The experience of safety is not achieved by logic, reason, or thinking more accurate thoughts. You can’t conjure up the felt sense of safety with a compelling narrative alone. Safety is not earned by thinking positive thoughts or just “getting over it.”⠀
⠀
That’s not how trauma works.⠀
⠀
To assume the removal of a threat equals the experience of safety, is to mistake an important first step for the destination.⠀
⠀
“In today’s America, we tend to think of healing as something binary: either we’re broken or we’re healed from that brokenness. But that’s not how healing operates, and it’s almost never how human growth works. More often, healing and growth take place on a continuum, with innumerable points between utter brokenness and total health.”
⠀
Here’s to the removal of threats AND the experience of safety. Here’s to doing the important embodied work of resolving our collective trauma.⠀
⠀
-Brian

04/22/2021

Posted • When the very fabric of our society is built on and fueled by white-body supremacy and unresolved trauma, it’s important to remember...⠀
⠀
Accountability alone doesn't resolve trauma.⠀
⠀
We can’t think ourselves out of trauma, and we can't convict, vote, legislate, or govern ourselves to healing.⠀
⠀
I’m all for celebrating accountability that creates more favorable conditions for healing. However, when it comes to resolving trauma, Stephen Porges reminds us that...⠀
⠀
“The removal of threat is not the same thing as the experience of safety.”⠀
⠀
This distinction is important when it comes to understanding trauma. It’s not enough to remove a threat. Even if we could remove all the threats — your body needs to feel safe again (or for the first time).⠀
⠀
The experience of safety is not achieved by logic, reason, or thinking more accurate thoughts. You can’t conjure up the felt sense of safety with a compelling narrative alone. Safety is not earned by thinking positive thoughts or just “getting over it.”⠀
⠀
That’s not how trauma works.⠀
⠀
To assume the removal of a threat equals the experience of safety, is to mistake an important first step for the destination.⠀
⠀
“In today’s America, we tend to think of healing as something binary: either we’re broken or we’re healed from that brokenness. But that’s not how healing operates, and it’s almost never how human growth works. More often, healing and growth take place on a continuum, with innumerable points between utter brokenness and total health.”
⠀
Here’s to the removal of threats AND the experience of safety. Here’s to doing the important embodied work of resolving our collective trauma.⠀
⠀
-Brian

03/04/2021

Modeling emotional regulation for your kids when you did not have a good model as a child is especially hard work. Modeling your relationship with this struggle is a powerful way to navigate those tough moments. All parents will lose their cool. Focus your attention on the start up and repair parts of these moments to maintain the security of your relationship with your child. For more resources on how to navigate the tough moments, check out Dan Siegel’s books, especially ”The Whole Brain Child” for kids and ”Brainstorm” for teens.

11/04/2020

Take 10 minutes to refocus on what you can control today. For now, just breathe.

Politics are known to be a significant source of stress. To help you be kind to your mind, we’ve put together a selection of exercises designed to help.