Bryan Scheihing, LMFT #108543

06/27/2022

Do you want to help decrease feelings of irritability and increase your frustration tolerance? I used a technique yesterday that helped me - maybe it will help you, too!
I was at a movie theater with my partner and a family seated behind us was making a lot of noise during the movie. Their young child was talking loudly and they all were noisily opening candy wrappers. Instead of giving them a glare and/or shushing them, I used another approach: I quickly wrote a story about them to help myself feel happy for them rather than annoyed by them.
I imagined that this child had lost his parents to COVID and that this was actually his aunt and uncle who took him in. This was the first time he was expressing happiness since then. When this kid talked and laughed, I told myself that it was the first laugh he’d experienced in a long time. Going to the theater was a big expense, so I imagined that his aunt and uncle had saved up money for the candy and were also enjoying having it as a treasured reward for hard work.
Before I knew it, I felt happy for them. I was no longer focused on the noise, but returned my focus to the movie - and enjoyed it!
I knew the story I wrote about them in my head most likely wasn’t true. But I didn’t know their real story, either, so as far as I was concerned, it could have been true. The truth of the story didn’t matter.
What mattered was: I was no longer irritated. I felt happy rather than annoyed and frustrated. I enjoyed my movie experience, as did they (judging from all the noise.) 😂

06/03/2022

You may not be aware of it, but you already use they/them pronouns for a singular person. Let’s say you’re in a public place and you find a cell phone. You know it belongs to one person, but you don’t know their gender. So you say something like, “Someone left their cell phone. Did anyone see them? They forgot their phone.” See? You already do it! Happy Pride! 😁

05/17/2022

In honor of International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia, and Biphobia, please watch the 6-min video I shot that describes the spectrums involved in SOGIE, now viewable on my website. We all have a SOGIE! What is it? Follow the link to learn more...

Strength- and Resilience-Based Coaching, Everyone has strengths. Let’s use yours. Using a client-centered, integrative approach, together we can shine a light on your strengths, so you can live your best life.

03/26/2022

I worked for an agency that actually awarded a woman for "perfect attendance - not taking a day off in the ten years that she has worked here!" Even more astonishing than this announcement, people clapped for it! It astounded me that the importance of self-care was not only being overlooked, but the absence of it was being celebrated. This agency wasn't appreciating the individual, but patting itself on the back for employing someone who put their own needs - their own health - behind the demands of their workload.

Can you imagine the pressure that put on this woman the next time she was feeling sick? Or for the new employees at this workplace?

Thankfully, my mother raised me differently. As a kid, I only had to ask her permission for a Mental Health Day from school, and as long as I wasn't missing a test and maintained a high GPA, my request was granted. I treasured those days. I also learned the value of self-care and developed my own sense of agency from them. At the agency as an adult, I used my sick days and my vacation days when I needed to, thank you very much.

If you are fortunate enough to work in a setting with sick and vacation days, use them when you need to! I applaud you for that! If you need to, you can even tell them that my mom gives you permission. She wouldn't mind. ❤

03/11/2022

03/03/2022

Do you know that you have a SOGIE? It's part of the human experience. So...What is it? I partnered with LA's Department of Mental Health and UCLA Prevention Center of Excellence to create this short but important video about the universality of SOGIE and its spectrums (Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, and Gender Expression.) Enjoy!

This video helps define and explore what SOGIE (Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, and Gender Expression) is and how it applies to all of us, regardless of our sexual orientation and gender identity. Community partner, Bryan Scheihing, reviews keys concepts and relevant terms that deepen our under...