Thais Sky

Thais Sky Thaís Sky is a psychoanalytic psychotherapist, clinical supervisor + podcast host of RECLAIM.

I acknowledge that things are rarely a binary, and that family relationships are complicated.But I have not often seen i...
05/11/2026

I acknowledge that things are rarely a binary, and that family relationships are complicated.

But I have not often seen it work out that we become who others want us to be and we end up happy. What is more likely to happen is we end up filled with self-loathing or resentment.

That’s not to say that we cannot integrate the wishes of those who love us into our goals or dreams. Sometimes it is a beautiful thing when those around us see what we cannot see within ourselves.

However, if we are not discerning and thoughtful about what we try to take on, we risk living a life that is not for ourselves. And that life, a life constantly seeking approval from others, cannot ever fulfill.

One way I tend to see the worthiness wound play out within relationships is with an intense fear of being a burden to ot...
05/11/2026

One way I tend to see the worthiness wound play out within relationships is with an intense fear of being a burden to others. The fear goes something like… if I am honest about what I need from others, then I will be seen as too much, too needy, too attached and therefore that person will leave or distance themselves from the relationship. So it is best if I do not burden others and instead be as self-sufficient as possible.

The hard thing about patterns is that we often find evidence that our fears are valid, painfully living an existence where we find proof that we are indeed too much.

Because self-sufficiency is celebrated in our culture as being “independent,” we often don’t pause to examine what may be underneath.

But the truth is, as I have been sharing here quite frequently, thriving relationships require a certain amount of dependency. To depend on others while also knowing how to depend on ourselves is critical for intimacy and meaningful relating.

Which means we must examine why we may be so afraid of being a burden to others and where we got this message that we are a burden. Often, we will find evidence in childhood where our dependency was punished or belittled. We will find connections between our too muchness and the limitations of our caregivers. We will find a chronic rejection of our needs.

Now as adults, it is our responsibility to face these fears and re-learn healthy dependency.

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If you want to learn more about the worthiness wound and the ways we may have internalized a sense of too much and not enough, you may find my free ebook, Reclaiming Worth, helpful. You can download it at thaissky.com/worth or via the link in my bio. You can also comment ‘RECLAIM’ to get the link via DM.

Saying something to yourself is not the same as saying it to another.There’s a limit to how far we can take ourselves on...
05/06/2026

Saying something to yourself is not the same as saying it to another.

There’s a limit to how far we can take ourselves on our own because we’re still inside the same system that formed the thought in the first place.

When something stays internal, it often loops in familiar ways—refined, analyzed, even understood… but not necessarily transformed.

Speaking it out loud is different.

Not just because it’s said, but because it’s received. Felt in the presence of another mind that isn’t organized like your own.

That’s where something begins to shift.

I love this quote because cuts straight through a familiar defense: the comfort of self-improvement as a substitute for ...
05/05/2026

I love this quote because cuts straight through a familiar defense: the comfort of self-improvement as a substitute for self-contact.

Living by principles can look like integrity, but it can also become a way of staying slightly removed from yourself (measuring, correcting, optimizing, etc) rather than actually being with what is real in you.

What is messy, contradictory, alive.

There is often a subtle belief that if we become “better,” we will finally be acceptable enough to inhabit our own lives. But that pursuit can often keep us out of them.

Being who you are asks for something less… performative and much more honest. It asks you to stop negotiating your existence through ideals and start noticing what is actually here.

It’s easy to assume that if you leave a therapy session feeling “better,” the therapy is working.But if feeling better i...
04/30/2026

It’s easy to assume that if you leave a therapy session feeling “better,” the therapy is working.

But if feeling better is the only metric you’re using to decide whether therapy is working… you may be missing something important.

Because relief isn’t necessarily the same thing as change.

Meaningful therapy has to also feel deeply uncomfortable.

It has to challenge you, frustrate you, and bring you into contact with parts of yourself you’d rather avoid.

If you’ve ever questioned whether your therapy is truly helping you change (not just cope or feel temporarily better), I go much deeper into this in my latest episode of my podcast RECLAIM titled,” Are You Getting Good Therapy?” (Ep. 229)

It might change how you evaluate the work you’re doing and what you should be looking for. Check it out wherever you get your podcasts including YouTube! All links in bio.

04/28/2026

I have been hearing more and more instances of people turning to chatGPT for therapy.

I imagine some of them are turning to it because it feels safe.
No risk of being misunderstood.�No risk of being judged.�No risk of being disappointed by someone who said they could help.

If therapy has ever felt like a letdown, of course a chatbot starts to look appealing.

But being understood isn’t the same thing as being changed.

Good therapy isn’t just about validation or advice. It happens in a relationship where something real is at stake and where someone can misunderstand you, frustrate you, even disappoint you… and where something different can unfold because of that.

The truth is, a lot of people don’t actually know what good therapy looks like.
�And without that, it’s easy to settle for something that feels good… but doesn’t go deep.

I talk about this more in my latest podcast episode, Are You Getting Good Therapy?. If you’ve ever wondered whether your therapy is actually helping you change something meaningful, this one is for you.

Grab it wherever you get your podcasts by searching for “Reclaim with Thais Sky” episode 229, or go to link in bio!

And I think that second question is the more important one.Because in my experience, the obstacle to self-worth is rarel...
04/27/2026

And I think that second question is the more important one.

Because in my experience, the obstacle to self-worth is rarely a lack of desire. The people I work with want to feel worthy. They’ve tried… genuinely tried. The affirmations, the CBT reframes, the self-help. They understand, intellectually, that they have value.

And something still resists.

This resistance is often protection… a deeply unconscious protection against something the mind learned to fear a long time ago.

Maybe being seen led to being hurt. Maybe love always came with conditions, so receiving it unconditionally now feels like a trick. Maybe feeling good about yourself meant getting knocked back down enough times that the mind decided it was safer to stay small.

The psyche is not irrational. It is logical in ways we don’t always have
access to.

If worthiness was dangerous once, some part of you may still protecting you from it. Even now. Even when you don’t need it anymore.

In this way, the work isn’t just to learn “how to feel more worthy.” It’s also about getting curious about what you believe will happen if you do.

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If you want to learn more about the worthiness wound and the ways we may have internalized a sense of too much and not enough, you may find my free ebook, Reclaiming Worth, helpful. You can download it at thaissky.com/worth or via the link in my bio. You can also comment ‘RECLAIM’ to get the link via DM.

We’re being told, in more and more ways, that therapy should be faster, more efficient, more scalable.And on some level,...
04/23/2026

We’re being told, in more and more ways, that therapy should be faster, more efficient, more scalable.

And on some level, that makes sense.

Access matters. Cost matters. Reaching more people matters.

But when therapy is shaped primarily by those demands, something essential to our wellbeing and vitality starts to get lost.

Meaningful psychic change doesn’t scale easily.

It takes time. It requires patience. It depends on a real relationship that can’t be reduced to a model or optimized for speed.

There are many forces right now influencing what therapy becomes.

Which means those of us who care about depth have to be willing to stand for it—clearly, thoughtfully, and without apology.

Because if we don’t take a stand for the soul of psychotherapy, who will?

If something has never been felt, named, or imagined as possible, it can’t exist as a source of relief.I think about thi...
04/22/2026

If something has never been felt, named, or imagined as possible, it can’t exist as a source of relief.

I think about this a lot in relation to the worthiness wound.

Because one of the cruelest parts about growing up without consistent love, attunement, or safety is that it limited what became imaginable.

If you never experienced care that didn’t come with conditions, it’s going to feel impossible to picture what unconditional care would feel like. If every expression of need was met with rejection, it may be hard to imagine people now would want to meet your need. If love always arrived alongside threat, safety in relationship can feel literally unimaginable.

And what we cannot imagine, cannot console us.

This is where I think meaningful therapy relationship does something irreplaceable.

Not because the therapist is a corrective parent or a substitute attachment figure (unfortunately we can never undo the past), but because they can offer, potentially, a genuinely new experience. Someone who shows up consistently enough, carefully enough, honestly enough, that the patient’s imagination begins to expand.

And something that was previously inconceivable like being known, being held, or being worth the trouble starts to become, slowly, real.

As therapists, I think this asks something serious of us. Not just clinical skill. But genuine thought about what we are offering as an experience. What we are making possible (or impossible) through how we show up.

Because if a patient cannot yet imagine feeling worthy, my job is not to tell them that they are.

It’s to be someone in whose presence worthiness slowly becomes conceivable.

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If you want to learn more about the worthiness wound and ways to tend to it, you can download my free ebook Reclaiming Worth. Links in bio or comment “RECLAIM” to get a link in your DMs!

04/16/2026

You can learn a lot about yourself by how you start a relationship.
But you learn far more by how you handle conflict… and how you leave.

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