09/11/2026
If something in you won’t change, try this.
We usually assume that if we keep repeating a pattern, the pattern itself is the problem.
So we try harder to stop it.
We discipline ourselves.
Reason with ourselves.
Make another commitment.
And then somehow we end up doing the same thing again.
But what if the pattern you’re trying so hard to get rid of is actually trying to do something for you?
The next time it shows up, instead of asking:
“How do I get myself to stop doing this?”
Try asking:
“What is this trying to do for me?”
Or:
“What are you afraid would happen if you didn’t stop me?”
Then don't rush to figure out the answer.
Notice what happens in your body.
Notice what feelings, images, memories or words arise.
Because sometimes the thing you've been fighting isn't trying to sabotage you at all.
It may be trying to protect you.
And understanding what that part of you is protecting can completely change how you work with the pattern.
I talk about how to do that in this video.
If this resonates, I explore this much more deeply in my book, If It Didn't Hurt: How to Resolve Your Pain and Discover Your Life Purpose.
You can get a free PDF copy here:
https://f.mtr.cool/icmmdsh0x7
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