E-Motion Psychotherapy

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E-Motion Psychotherapy Licensed marriage and family therapist Tory L. Eletto. LIV by E-Motion Psychotherapy is a located in Westchester and NYC.

We are dedicated to empowering individuals and their surrounding relationships. Our hope is to help foster growth, and teach you how to life the life you want. Liv, our Mind & Body Studio, is an addition that is unique and proactive. Our studio offers Yoga & Meditation, combined with insight, to truly embody overall well being.

I think we spend a lot of our lives assuming that if something feels hard, it must be wrong. But sometimes you’re just f...
09/23/2026

I think we spend a lot of our lives assuming that if something feels hard, it must be wrong. But sometimes you’re just fully in it - living a complicated, beautiful human life.

We all have moments when we have to put a feeling somewhere temporarily. We have to get through the workday, take care o...
09/22/2026

We all have moments when we have to put a feeling somewhere temporarily. We have to get through the workday, take care of our kids, have the conversation, make dinner, keep functioning.

But feelings we continually push aside don’t disappear, they find other ways to leak out and sometimes that’s our mood. Often the people closest to us experience it before we’ve even acknowledged what’s underneath it.

This doesn’t mean someone else’s mood is yours to absorb or fix. But there’s something useful in looking beyond the mood (our own and other people’s) and remembering that what looks like irritability may be an emotion that hasn’t found its way into expression yet.

Intimacy doesn’t come with a guarantee - and that’s pretty hard for most of us. Sometimes we don’t say what we really ne...
09/21/2026

Intimacy doesn’t come with a guarantee - and that’s pretty hard for most of us. Sometimes we don’t say what we really need to because we’re afraid of finding out what happens when we do.

So we hint at it, repress it, or convince ourselves it’s not a big deal. But there’s a cost to that protection. If we’re avoiding finding out whether someone can fully meet us, we’re also avoiding being fully known.

When someone we love tells us we hurt them, we’re having our own experience at the exact same time. The practice has bee...
09/21/2026

When someone we love tells us we hurt them, we’re having our own experience at the exact same time. The practice has been learning how to hold all of that without needing to do something with it right away.

To let my feelings be mine, while I get curious about his. That doesn’t mean my experience doesn’t matter. It doesn’t mean he’s automatically right, or that there won’t be space for my side of it.

It means I’m practicing having enough room inside myself to hold my own experience without requiring it to be the first one tended to. And that kind of communication doesn’t just happen because we love someone. It takes a lot of practice learning how to be with ourselves, and then be with ourselves and someone.

09/20/2026

If your wife sounds like Busta Rhymes at 7:30 listing all that she is doing and does - she’s likely not trying to prove you’re useless, she’s trying to feel seen.

Turn to her and say: “Wow that’s a lot. I love you. I see you. I appreciate you.” That’s it. That’s all for now.

I’ve been a therapist for a long time, and life has repeatedly reminded me that knowing what is healthy and being able t...
09/20/2026

I’ve been a therapist for a long time, and life has repeatedly reminded me that knowing what is healthy and being able to live it while your own heart is involved are two very different things.

There are things we can understand deeply from the outside. And still, none of that makes us immune to what happens when the thing we understand becomes the thing we have to live.

It’s different when it’s you.
Your relationship.
Your grief.
Your fear.
Your child.
Your attachment.
Your loss.

When it’s your nervous system activated, your history being touched, and your heart on the line. It’s why in my work I am less interested in what people should do and more curious about what it actually takes to do it.

Because the relationship we have with ourselves isn’t built in what we know. It’s built in what happens when we are moving through it.

We often talk about anxious and avoidant attachment as if one person wants closeness and the other doesn’t. i think it’s...
09/20/2026

We often talk about anxious and avoidant attachment as if one person wants closeness and the other doesn’t. i think it’s more complicated than that. Both can want connection deeply, but what differs is what they do with the vulnerability connection creates.

The anxious adaptation moves toward: If I can get close enough, understand enough, reassure enough, maybe I can make this vulnerability feel safer.

The avoidant adaptation moves away: If I can need less, feel less, depend less, maybe I can make this vulnerability feel safer.

One tries to reduce the risk by securing the relationship.
The other tries to reduce the risk by reducing their dependence on it.

And this is why these patterns can become so painful together. Each person’s protection activates the other person’s protection. The more you move toward me, the more exposed I feel.The more you move away from me, the more exposed I feel.

And maybe that’s the deeper work of attachment: noticing all the ways we try to escape vulnerability, and how those protections can become the very thing standing between us and the connection we want.

Loneliness is deeply uncomfortable because we are relational beings. But when we cannot sit with our own loneliness, con...
09/18/2026

Loneliness is deeply uncomfortable because we are relational beings. But when we cannot sit with our own loneliness, connection can become less about who we’re connecting with and more about what the connection is relieving.

We can bypass actually learning someone in our urgency to connect to them. We fill in the gaps with hope and fantasy, or cling to potential. We might downplay Ignore what doesn’t fit, or contort ourselves to make the connection work.

We become so focused on keeping connection versus building it genuinely. This is why learning to be with loneliness is relational work. It slows us down enough to let connection reveal itself.

To learn someone instead of needing them to become something. And to experience a relationship instead of securing one. We don’t learn to be with loneliness so we stop needing people, we do it so our loneliness doesn’t choose our relationships for us.

09/18/2026

The biggest work of parenting for me hasn’t been learning how to meet my kids. It’s been learning how to meet myself while I’m raising them.

Because their disappointment touches something in me.
Their anxiety makes me super anxious, their loneliness makes me deeply uncomfortable. Their struggles, their anger, their sadness, their discomfort, all wake up parts of me that want to fix, rescue, explain, control, or make it better.

And sometimes what looks like attunement to our kids is actually an attempt to settle something inside of us. This is the biggest job for a lot of millennial parents. We learned how important it is to make room for our children’s emotions, but we have to learn how to make room for our own.

Breaking those generational patterns is about becoming a parent who can keep coming back to themselves, navigating our own emotional experience, so our kids don’t have to carry what we are learning to hold.

Chasing a version of “healed” can be a really sophisticated way of protecting ourselves from ever having to feel vulnera...
09/17/2026

Chasing a version of “healed” can be a really sophisticated way of protecting ourselves from ever having to feel vulnerable again.

Healing, to me, isn’t about becoming less affected, it’s becoming more able to stay in relationship with yourself while you are touched - by life, love, loss, conflict, disappointment, grief, joy, pain, play, fun, hurt - all of it.

Address

501 E Boston Post Road
Mamaroneck, NY
10543

Telephone

+19144973075

Website

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