E-Motion Psychotherapy

E-Motion Psychotherapy Licensed marriage and family therapist Tory L. Eletto. LIV by E-Motion Psychotherapy is a located in Westchester and NYC.

We are dedicated to empowering individuals and their surrounding relationships. Our hope is to help foster growth, and teach you how to life the life you want. Liv, our Mind & Body Studio, is an addition that is unique and proactive. Our studio offers Yoga & Meditation, combined with insight, to truly embody overall well being.

One of the things I see couples do is make the loss of s*xual aliveness entirely about s*x. But s*xual aliveness is conn...
09/11/2026

One of the things I see couples do is make the loss of s*xual aliveness entirely about s*x. But s*xual aliveness is connected to something much bigger. It’s our capacity to access our own desire, curiosity, play, pleasure, separateness and then navigate all of that with another person without losing ourselves inside the relationship.

Because aliveness can easily get organized around the other person.

Am I wanted enough?
Are you pursuing me?
Do you still desire me?
Am I doing this right?
Are you happy with me?

And suddenly something that once felt alive becomes a chase, a performance, a role, or another way we measure our worth. A stranger can sometimes make aliveness easier to access because of the novelty, mystery, and less history. We haven’t yet learned all the ways to organize ourselves around each other.

Long term intimacy asks if we can I feel desire without needing someone to validate it. Can we be deeply connected to without disappearing into what you might need from me. Can I let myself be seen without performing?

Sexual aliveness isn’t just about keeping the spark alive, it’s learning how to stay alive in the presence of another person. And creating a relationship where both people have room to bring that aliveness between them.

We love an opposite when we’re healing.I used to people please, so now I say no.I used to chase, so now I detach.I used ...
09/10/2026

We love an opposite when we’re healing.

I used to people please, so now I say no.
I used to chase, so now I detach.
I used to stay too long, so now I leave quickly.
I used to over explain, so now I say nothing.

But the opposite isn’t necessarily freedom. Because ww are still making choices from the same pain.

Healing is becoming connected enough to yourself that you don’t need either extreme to protect you. The freedom isn’t in choosing the “healed” behavior, it’s being able to hold your pain so it’s not choosing for you.

I think we’ve accidentally made healing synonymous with becoming less affected. Less reactive. Less needy. Less emotiona...
09/09/2026

I think we’ve accidentally made healing synonymous with becoming less affected. Less reactive. Less needy. Less emotional. Less shaken by the things that once shook us.

But I don’t know that I want to feel less of my life. I want to be able to feel more of it without losing contact with myself. To know disappointment without immediately turning it into shame.

To feel fear without deciding it means I’m failing. To want something deeply without judging myself for wanting it. To be messy, joyful, angry, uncertain, grieving, excite and still belong to myself through all of it.

Because the relationship we build with ourselves becomes the capacity we bring into relationship with other people. The more of my own humanity I can meet, the less threatened I have to be by yours.

Maybe healing isn’t becoming less alive. Maybe it’s building relationships (with ourselves and each other) that can hold more aliveness.

09/08/2026

Sometimes you have to put the conscious parenting down and let Brandy and Monica handle it 🗣️

09/08/2026

Self work is meant to be relational. It’s meant to form a relationship within that you can hold on to. In order to hold your experiences along side theirs. In order to hold your fear and parent from love. In order to hold your anxiety and show up with others from integrity. In order to hold shame and show up more honestly. If your self work is making you more selfish - it’s time to rethink that this work is meant for

09/08/2026

Hard conversations are a part of healthy relationships. But there’s a difference between telling someone something hard with warmth, and telling them with a threat to the relationship.

Sometimes when we desperately want someone to understand the weight of what we’re saying, we unconsciously make them feel the weight of potentially losing us. We withdraw warmth, become more aggressive or absolute. Let an unspoken “or else” enter the room.

But safety around hard truths is a huge skill to master. Because it means we can say the honest thing and be able to hold onto the relationship while we tell them. The goal isn’t a watered down, softer honesty. It’s real honesty and truth that doesn’t require disconnection to make itself heard.

I talk a lot on here about being unhealed, but I also want to tell you what years of this work have actually done for me...
09/08/2026

I talk a lot on here about being unhealed, but I also want to tell you what years of this work have actually done for me. They’ve given me space to be able to notice what’s happening inside of me before I automatically act from it. To pause when every part of me wants to react. To notice the story I’m telling myself without fully believing it to be truth.

To be more honest about what’s mine, and have compassion for the parts of me that still struggle. To choose differently when I can, and come back to myself when I can’t. And ultimately, to have more agency over how I show up in my own life. I’m not less human. I still get triggered. I still get tired. I still blame. I still hide. I still have old patterns show up. I still have old stories that can feel incredibly true.

But I know myself better, and can hold myself now, inside of these moments. And that has given me something far more useful than the promise of being healed: a relationship with myself that is the kind I used to seek in people and life.

Listening to the testimony in the Lindsay Clancy case, I kept noticing what felt absent from the conversation: relations...
09/07/2026

Listening to the testimony in the Lindsay Clancy case, I kept noticing what felt absent from the conversation: relationship.

There was so much discussion of medications, diagnoses, symptoms, appointments, risk, and what was or wasn’t communicated. But I kept wondering: Who really knew her?

Who had built enough of a relationship with her to notice the difference between reassurance seeking and fear that needed to be explored? Who could sit with “I’m afraid of myself” without immediately trying to make that fear smaller? Who had created enough safety for her to say the thing she might have been most terrified to say?

I don’t know what happened inside those treatment rooms, and I don’t want to pretend the testimony gives us access to every relationship she had with her providers. But it made me think deeply about our field.

Because relationship is not just rapport. It isn’t being warm or making a client comfortable. Relationship is clinical information. It is what allows us to notice shifts. To hear what isn’t being said. To recognize when something feels different. To ask another question instead of reaching quickly for reassurance because of our own fear.

And most importantly, it can create enough safety for someone to show us the parts of their experience they are ashamed of, confused by, or genuinely frightened by.

Cases like this understandably create fear in therapists. Fear of missing something. Fear of liability. Fear of working with high risk clients. But I hope our fear doesn’t make us more distant from the people who need us most.

I hope it makes us more committed to becoming clinicians who can take risk seriously without losing sight of the human being experiencing it.

Because if a client says “I’m scared” maybe they don’t need us to immediately tell them why they shouldn’t be.
Sometimes needs us to move closer with curiosity:

“I believe you. Tell me more”. That relationship isn’t the soft part of therapy, it may be one of the most important interventions we have.

You can tell yourself “I am worthy” all day and feel disconnected to it. Because self worth is relational and felt in co...
09/06/2026

You can tell yourself “I am worthy” all day and feel disconnected to it. Because self worth is relational and felt in connection. Think of it outside of yourself for a moment -

You can tell your child they are worth - but they feel worthy through feeling your delight in them, your care about their experience, and ability to stay connected to them when they’re struggling.

You can tell your partner “I love you” but they feel loved through your attention, warmth, curiosity, affection, consideration, and willingness to stay emotionally present.

You can tell a friend “I’m here for you” but they feel it when you notice, reach out, listen, remember, and make space for what’s actually happening in their life.

Words can name something but relationship is what makes it felt. I think we forget this when it comes to self worth.

We try to think ourselves into worth but I think it lives in the relationship we have with ourself. In the way we show for ourselves with care, with compassion, with connection.

In the ways we hold ourselves when we are emotional, or when we mess up. In our ability to be honest and accountable without tearing ourselves down, or becoming an endless project to fix.

Self worth isn’t affirmations have to force ourselves to believe. It becomes a byproduct of building a relationship with ourselves where, over and over again, especially in our hardest moments and in our shame.

That’s how worth moves from something you try to think your way into, and something you can feel in your bones.

We think therapy is tools, theory, and insight (and it absolutely is). But the relationship & felt connection changes ho...
09/05/2026

We think therapy is tools, theory, and insight (and it absolutely is). But the relationship & felt connection changes how you actually experience yourself. And I think self worth gets built much more through the latter.

A client can tell me that they “did the thing again”. Or they feel jealous. Or they hate this part of themselves. Or there is something wrong with them. And my job isn’t to convince them otherwise. The deeper work is being able to stay with them there.

To tolerate their pain without rushing to remove it. To hear shame without reassuring it away. To stay curious when they show me something uncomfortable. To challenge them without withdrawing warmth. To hold them accountable without making their worth contingent on getting it right.

Most importantly to be able to notice when my own discomfort makes me want to fix, teach, reassure, interpret or move them somewhere more comfortable. A lot of my own work is what allows me to show up so fully for them.

There is something incredibly powerful about feeling so safe with another person that you start sharing the parts of you that you believe makes you unworthy. Shame starts to dissipate, and over time the client starts internalizing the relationship.

The ability for them to say: I can notice this part of myself and not recoil. I can be disappointed in myself without abandoning myself. I can tell myself the truth without humiliating myself. I can find myself in an old pattern without turning myself into a problem that needs to be fixed.

Eventually, the therapist is no longer the only person capable of meeting them there. They start to embody this warm, loving, honest relationship within themselves that they have never had before. Living from there is a whole different world.

After 20 years doing this work personally and professionally - once you have this home inside of you, worthiness becomes embedded in your soul. Not to be a perfect human, but to meet yourself again and again in ways that expand you, make you come alive.

Address

501 E Boston Post Road
Mamaroneck, NY
10543

Telephone

+19144973075

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when E-Motion Psychotherapy posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Practice

Send a message to E-Motion Psychotherapy:

Shortcuts

Share

Category