10/11/2026
When a child is completely overwhelmed, the skills we keep asking them to use can become much harder to access.
They may not yet be able to calm themselves simply because we tell them to.
So they look to us.
Our face. Our voice. Our pace. The way we hold the moment when they can’t.
That doesn’t mean we absorb their chaos or allow anything and everything. We can still hold the boundary.
But when we stay grounded instead of adding our own intensity to theirs, we give their nervous system something steadier to meet.
This is co-regulation.
Before children can consistently find their own calm, they often have to experience what calm feels like with us.
And little by little, what they once had to borrow becomes something they can begin to carry for themselves. ❤️