Mankato Marriage Solutions

10/15/2026

Do you have an adult child living at home who seems to be struggling to take the next steps toward independence?

Maybe they're having difficulty finding or keeping a job, contributing financially, or taking on adult responsibilities. You want to be supportive, but you also wonder whether some of that support might actually be keeping them stuck.

If this sounds familiar, this upcoming workshop may be worth your time!

**Failure to Launch: Helping Parents Empty the Nest** is a three-hour workshop led by Dr. Jack Stoltzfus, a licensed psychologist and family therapist with more than 40 years of experience.

The workshop explores practical strategies for helping young adults become more independent, setting healthy boundaries, reducing family conflict, and supporting your adult children without damaging your relationship.

While this training is designed for mental health professionals, parents are absolutely welcome and encouraged to attend! You don't need to be a therapist to benefit from these conversations.

📅 October 23 – In person, Shoreview, MN

💻 October 30 – Live via Zoom

▶️ On-demand recording also available

💲 $49

If you're a parent wondering how to help your adult child take the next step, this could be a great opportunity to learn some practical strategies.

Register here: https://failuretolaunch.eventbrite.com

Presented by Midwest Mental Health Solutions.

More young adults are staying home than ever. Learn practical strategies to help families launch successfully.

10/13/2026

Tips on Tuesday

Are You and Your Spouse Working Toward the Same Financial Goals?

“We need to start saving more money.”

“I thought we were saving for a vacation.”

“We can't afford that right now.”

“But we've been talking about buying it for years!”

Money is one of the most common sources of conflict in marriage. And sometimes the disagreement isn't really about how much money you have. It's about what you believe that money should be doing for you.

One spouse may be focused on paying off debt, building retirement savings, or creating financial security. The other may want to enjoy life today, take a family vacation, or finally make that home improvement you've been discussing.

Neither perspective is necessarily wrong.

But when couples aren't working toward shared financial goals, every spending decision can become an argument.

This week's tip: Set aside 30 minutes to talk about your short-term AND long-term financial goals.

Start by asking each other three questions:

1. What's one financial goal we'd like to accomplish in the next six months?
2. What's something we'd like to accomplish financially in the next five years?
3. What could we start doing differently today to move toward both goals?

Maybe it's saving $2,000 for a vacation while also increasing retirement contributions. Maybe it's paying off a credit card while building an emergency fund. Or maybe it's finally agreeing on how much discretionary spending each person can enjoy without needing to consult the other.

The important thing isn't that you agree on everything immediately. It's that you understand what matters to each other and begin making decisions together.

And remember, financial conversations shouldn't happen only when there's a problem or someone has spent too much money.

Make them part of your regular conversations as a couple.

A healthy marriage isn't just about sharing a bank account. It's about sharing a vision for the future.

At Mankato Marriage Solutions, we help couples navigate difficult conversations about money, expectations, and competing priorities so they can stop arguing about individual purchases and start working toward shared goals.

Because financial compatibility doesn't necessarily mean having the same spending habits.

It means learning how to make financial decisions as a team.

10/06/2026

Tips on Tuesday

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

“We were doing so well... and then we had another huge fight.”

I hear versions of this from couples all the time.

They've been communicating better. They're spending more time together. Maybe intimacy is improving, resentment is beginning to soften, or they're finally having conversations that used to go nowhere.

Then they have a bad night.

Someone gets defensive. An old argument resurfaces. Feelings get hurt. And suddenly it feels like all that progress disappeared.

It didn't.

This week's tip: Don't confuse a setback with starting over.

Changing the way two people interact after years of established patterns takes time. Under stress, we naturally fall back into what is familiar. The goal isn't to never argue again or to perfectly use every new skill you've learned.

The goal is to recover differently.

Instead of asking, “Why are we back here again?” try asking:

“What can we do differently with what just happened?”

Maybe you apologize sooner. Maybe you recognize your part. Maybe you take a break before things escalate. Maybe the argument lasts 20 minutes instead of two days.

That's progress too.

Marriage counseling works much the same way. Couples often want to know how many sessions it will take to “fix” things, but rebuilding a relationship isn't a sprint to the finish line. It's much more like a marathon. There will be stretches where you feel strong, stretches where it feels difficult, and occasionally a mile where you wonder whether you're getting anywhere at all.

Keep going.

Two steps forward and one step back still leaves you one step ahead.

At Mankato Marriage Solutions, we help couples focus less on perfection and more on progress, giving them practical tools to communicate differently, repair more effectively, and keep moving forward between sessions.

Your marriage didn't develop its patterns overnight.

Give yourselves some grace and time as you work to change them.

10/03/2026

Bust out your flannel, pack the cooler, and head out to the Ruby Ranch Barn for an incredible evening! We are a proud supporter of the event and the entire Ruby Ranch team for the work they do with our children and families in the community.

09/29/2026

💍 Tips on Tuesday: Don’t Just Celebrate the Years—Celebrate the Marriage

Anniversaries have a funny way of becoming routine.

Dinner. A card. Maybe a weekend away. A Facebook post with a few old pictures.

Those things are great—but your anniversary can also be an opportunity to stop and actually take inventory of your marriage.

This year, ask each other three questions:

❤️ What is one thing about our marriage that you’re proud of from this past year?

❤️ What is one thing you appreciate about me today that maybe you didn’t appreciate when we first got married?

❤️ What is one thing you hope we experience together before our next anniversary?

Marriage changes. People change. Life gets busy. Kids, careers, finances, health, stress, and responsibilities can make it easy to spend more time managing life together than actually noticing the person you're managing it with.

Your anniversary is a chance to interrupt that.

Celebrate where you've been. Acknowledge what you've made it through. Appreciate who your spouse is today. And talk about where you'd still like to go together.

The best anniversary gift might not be flowers, jewelry, or an expensive dinner.

It might simply be reminding each other:

After everything we've experienced, I'm still choosing you.

Happy Tuesday!

— Mankato Marriage Solutions

09/22/2026

🌟 Tips on Tuesday 🌟

**When Your Adult Child Still Lives at Home, Don’t Let It Divide Your Marriage**

“He needs to figure this out.”

“She’s struggling. We can’t just kick her out.”

“He’s 26. How long are we going to keep doing this?”

Few parenting decisions create more tension between spouses than figuring out how much support to give an adult child who is struggling to become independent.

One parent may believe continued support is helping. The other may worry that the same support is preventing growth. Before long, the disagreement stops being about the adult child and becomes about each other.

“You’re too hard on him.”

“You always bail her out.”

“You’re making me the bad guy.”

And suddenly, your adult child’s struggle has become a marriage struggle too.

💡 This week’s tip: **Get on the same team before you try to solve the problem.**

Have a conversation with your spouse without your adult child present. Instead of beginning with what your spouse is doing wrong, start with the outcome you both probably want:

**“What does successfully helping our child become an independent adult look like?”**

Then talk about the difficult questions together. What are we willing to provide? What responsibilities should come with living at home? What financial expectations are reasonable? What behaviors are we unintentionally making easier? Where do we need to be patient, and where might our child need a little more accountability?

You don't have to agree on every detail immediately. But avoid creating a family dynamic where one parent becomes the rescuer and the other becomes the enforcer.

Your adult child may need your support.

They may also need your expectations.

And your marriage needs the two of you working together to figure out the difference.

If disagreements about adult children, boundaries, finances, or parenting are creating distance in your relationship, Mankato Marriage Solutions can help you have those conversations differently and develop a plan you can both support.

09/20/2026

We’re proud to be a sponsor of this year’s Ruby Ranch Barn Flackets + Flannels! 🍂🔥🎶

At Mankato Marriage Solutions, we believe that strong communities are built by supporting the people and organizations doing meaningful work for children and families. That’s why we’re excited to support Ruby Ranch and help sponsor the live music for this year’s event.

And this looks like a FUN night.

Live music. Bonfires. Beersbee. Hammerschlagen. Tractor rides. Pulled pork. Auctions, raffles, and apparently a giant YETI full of mystery prizes.

All while raising money to support Little Rubies and the programs, outdoor spaces, and learning experiences at Ruby Ranch.

If you’ve been looking for an excuse to throw on some flannel, grab some friends, and enjoy a fall night out while supporting a great local cause—this is it.

Two weeks away. We hope to see a great crowd out there!

Mankato Marriage Solutions is proud to support organizations that support children, families, and our community. ❤️

TWO WEEKS.

In exactly two weeks, the kids stay home and the grown-ups take over Ruby Ranch for the 5th Annual Flackets + Flannels.

And we’ve packed a slightly ridiculous amount of fun into one fall night...
Beersbee + bean bags
Hammerschlagen
Bonfires + Beverages around the fire.
Tractor rides under the stars.
Pulled pork. Lots of pulled pork donated by the Miller family.
And TWO live bands: Stacy K followed by Brandon Grady keeping the Ranch going all night long! Thanks to Mankato Marriage Solutions for sponsoring the music line up this year!

Then there’s the winning...
We went big with an online auction and it is a pretty impressive list of goodies! Plus we’ll have raffle baskets where $5 gets you a chance to win some pretty incredible stuff.

AND THEN THERE’S THE MYSTERY YETI.

Thanks to Mankato Clinic, we have a massive YETI Tundra 125 hard-sided cooler and we’re filling it with mystery prizes!

Starting Monday, we’ll be selling raffle tickets for just $20 each for your chance to take home the YETI + everything hiding inside (Stay tuned for Monday's post for more)! But you do NOT need to attend Flackets + Flannels or be present to win!

What’s inside? Well, if we told you, it wouldn’t be a mystery. So just buy a ticket and cross your fingers!

Past Flackets + Flannels guests can also bring a newbie and earn entries to win a North Face expedition-weight jacket so this is your official excuse to start recruiting the group chat!

All of it adds up to one really fun night for a really good reason: raising money to support Little Rubies and the growing programs, outdoor play spaces and learning experiences at Ruby Ranch.

Two weeks. No kids. Pack the cooler. Wear the flannel. Bring your people.

See you at the Ranch.

09/15/2026

🌟 Tips on Tuesday 🌟

When Work Takes You Away, Don’t Let It Take You Away From Your Marriage

Work travel can be exciting, exhausting, stressful, or sometimes all three. But while one spouse is navigating airports, hotels, meetings, and long days, the spouse at home may be managing everything that normally gets shared between two people.

That can create an interesting disconnect.

The traveling spouse thinks, “I’ve been working nonstop.”

The spouse at home thinks, “So have I.”

Neither person is wrong.

💡This week’s tip:
When one of you travels, be intentional about staying connected, but don’t make connection another obligation.

Before the trip, talk about what would actually feel good to both of you. Maybe it’s a quick call before bed. Maybe it’s a FaceTime with the kids followed by five minutes just for the two of you. Maybe it’s simply a text that says, “Thinking about you. How are things going at home?”

And when you reconnect, resist the temptation to compare who had the harder week.

Instead, ask:

What was the hardest part of me being gone?”

Then listen to the answer.

Successful marriages aren't built by being together every minute. They're built by continuing to make each other feel important, even when life temporarily puts some miles between you.

And when you get home, remember that reconnecting deserves some intention too. Put the suitcase down, put the phone away, and make a little time for each other.

If busy careers, frequent travel, or competing responsibilities have left your marriage feeling more like a logistical partnership than a relationship, Mankato Marriage Solutions can help you find practical ways to reconnect and protect your marriage in the middle of a busy life.

09/08/2026

Tips on Tuesday
You Don't Have to Attend Every Argument You're Invited To.

Your spouse makes a sarcastic comment.
Their tone is a little sharper than usual.
They sigh when you ask a question.

And suddenly you have a decision to make:
Do I return serve?

Not every irritated comment needs a response. Not every eye roll needs to be challenged. And not every bad mood needs to become a relationship problem.

Sometimes your spouse is tired, stressed, hungry, overwhelmed, or simply having a bad day.

💡 This week's tip: Before reacting, ask yourself:

"Does this actually need a response?"

Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is give your spouse a little grace and let the moment pass.

That doesn't mean ignoring disrespect, avoiding important conversations, or pretending something doesn't bother you. If there's a pattern or something genuinely needs to be addressed, talk about it.

But healthy couples learn to distinguish between an issue that needs attention and a moment that just needs to end.

You don't have to win every exchange.

You don't even have to participate in every one.

Sometimes one person choosing not to escalate is all it takes to change the direction of the evening.

And if every little disagreement seems to turn into a much bigger fight, Mankato Marriage Solutions can help you understand the pattern, slow things down, and learn a different way to respond.

09/01/2026

🌟 Tips on Tuesday 🌟

“What did you say?”

“I said, are you picking up the kids?”

“Well, I didn’t hear you!”

“But I told you!”

Sound familiar?

Sometimes one of the most ridiculous arguments in marriage starts because one person said something and the other person simply didn’t hear it.

Maybe the TV was on. Maybe you were in different rooms. Maybe someone was looking at their phone. Or maybe your spouse said something while you were concentrating on something else.

The problem usually isn’t that someone didn’t hear. It’s what happens next.

“You never listen to me.”

“I told you three times.”

“Well, you should have made sure I heard you!”

Suddenly, a missed sentence becomes a much bigger fight about listening, respect, or who is to blame.

💡 This week’s tip: Before escalating, assume it was a communication miss, not a relationship problem.

Try:

“Sorry, I didn’t hear you. Can you say that again?”

Or:

“I thought you heard me, but apparently you didn’t. No big deal. Let’s figure it out.”

And for the person speaking, remember that saying something isn’t always the same as communicating it. If it's important, get your spouse’s attention, make eye contact, and make sure they actually heard you.

Healthy communication isn't about proving, “I told you.”

It's about making sure the message was actually received.

Sometimes the easiest way to de-escalate conflict is to stop arguing about who should have heard what and simply start the conversation again.

If little communication misses regularly turn into big arguments in your marriage, Mankato Marriage Solutions can help you understand the pattern and learn how to communicate differently.