Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy

Dr. Lauren Fogel Mersy Helping you have more secure relationships. Psychologist, s*x and relationship therapist

Secure ≠ perfect or problem free. What it often means is fewer and less intense ruptures than more insecure relationship...
06/18/2026

Secure ≠ perfect or problem free. What it often means is fewer and less intense ruptures than more insecure relationships and more effective repair after disconnection.

Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. Please only do what’s best for you and your situation. My posts don’t speak to situations of abuse, active addiction, or certain mental health conditions.

According to Dr. John Gottman’s research, partners are unhappy for an average of 6 years before seeking help. That’s a l...
06/17/2026

According to Dr. John Gottman’s research, partners are unhappy for an average of 6 years before seeking help. That’s a lot of time for negativity and resentment to build up.

Timing for going to relationship therapy is important. The sooner, the better. Going to see a relationship therapist doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re on the brink of breaking up. It means that there are things that need to be worked on and it often helps to have support and guidance for that process.

Please note that relationship therapy is not recommended for situations of domestic/interpersonal violence, as this can place one partner at increased risk of danger.

I also want to recognize that therapy is not accessible for everyone. In these cases, books, workshops, or online courses may be helpful.

To locate a relationship therapist, you can visit www.iceeft.com or www.gottman.com.

Source: The Gottman Institute.

Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. Please only do what’s best for you and your situation. My posts don’t speak to situations of abuse, active addiction, or certain mental health conditions.

When I see clients who present with s*xual or pelvic pain, my first goal is to assist them in setting up a consultation ...
06/16/2026

When I see clients who present with s*xual or pelvic pain, my first goal is to assist them in setting up a consultation with a s*xual medicine specialist or other medical specialist. This is tremendously helpful in obtaining an accurate diagnosis, which then guides the treatment plan.

Having worked in a s*xual medicine clinic for many years, I learned that biological factors cannot be missed when providing holistic s*x therapy, especially for pain conditions. From there, the provider may recommend pelvic floor physical therapy, medication, surgery, s*x therapy, or other interventions.

Did you know that there was a niche specialty in s*xual medicine? What conditions did I miss?

Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. Please only do what’s best for you and your situation. My posts don’t speak to situations of abuse, active addiction, or certain mental health conditions. Please excuse the spelling. It’s to get around a medium that isn’t friendly to this type of educational content.

When I see clients who present with s*xual or pelvic pain, my first goal is to assist them in setting up a consultation ...
06/16/2026

When I see clients who present with s*xual or pelvic pain, my first goal is to assist them in setting up a consultation with a s*xual medicine specialist. This can be tremendously helpful in obtaining an accurate diagnosis, which then guides the treatment plan.

Having worked in a s*xual medicine clinic for many years, I learned that biological factors cannot be missed when providing holistic s*x therapy, especially for pain conditions. From there, the provider may recommend pelvic floor physical therapy, medication, surgery, s*x therapy, or other interventions.

Did you know that there was a niche specialty in s*xual medicine? What conditions did I miss?

My top book recommendation on this topic is, When S*x Hurts by Goldstein, Pukall, Goldstein, and Krapf.

Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. Please only do what’s best for you and your situation. My posts don’t speak to situations of abuse, active addiction, or certain mental health conditions. Please excuse the spelling. It’s to get around a medium that isn’t friendly to this type of educational content.

Welcome to my page! I’m Dr. Lauren, a psychologist, an author, an AASECT-certified s*x therapist, and a certified emotio...
06/15/2026

Welcome to my page! I’m Dr. Lauren, a psychologist, an author, an AASECT-certified s*x therapist, and a certified emotionally focused couples therapist. I own a virtual private practice in a suburb of Minneapolis, Minnesota and am able to work with clients in 42 states and territories through PSYPACT.

My posts are about building secure relationships, both emotionally and s*xually. I aim to help normalize experiences and break negative relationship cycles.

I’m also:

🌱 A houseplant aficionado
🪡 An amateur fiber artist (felting, cross stitch, embroidery, crochet)
🌎 A world traveler
📖 A daily reader (mostly non-fiction)

What brought you to this page and what kind of posts would be most helpful to you?

All of this is easier said than done, I know. These are skills that can take time and practice to build. By demonstratin...
06/15/2026

All of this is easier said than done, I know. These are skills that can take time and practice to build. By demonstrating more of these behaviors, we can foster secure-functioning relationships. These actions help partners to feel safe, valued, and supported, which are essential for a healthy, secure bond. Which of these are you working on?

Source: Based on both emotionally focused couple therapy and Gottman Method couple therapy.

Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. Please only do what’s best for you and your situation. My posts don’t speak to situations of abuse, active addiction, or certain mental health conditions.

Thank you Tarcher Books for sending me an advanced copy of The EQ School’s new book, out tomorrow. Looking forward to re...
06/15/2026

Thank you Tarcher Books for sending me an advanced copy of The EQ School’s new book, out tomorrow. Looking forward to reading it!

Order here: https://a.co/d/0e1g8iG1

What would you add?Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized...
06/15/2026

What would you add?

Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. Please only do what’s best for you and your situation. My posts don’t speak to situations of abuse, active addiction, or certain mental health conditions.

This quote is from the book, Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson, the creator of emotionally focused couple therapy. It’s m...
06/13/2026

This quote is from the book, Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson, the creator of emotionally focused couple therapy. It’s my most recommended book about relationships.

Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. Please only do what’s best for you and your situation. My posts don’t speak to situations of abuse, active addiction, or certain mental health conditions.

This is not meant to be a roadmap that’s followed exactly and there are lots of things that aren’t accessible for everyo...
06/12/2026

This is not meant to be a roadmap that’s followed exactly and there are lots of things that aren’t accessible for everyone or won’t be important or necessary for every relationship. This is just some interesting research that may have helpful tidbits for some people.

The Gottman institute notes, “Gottman research points to patterns commonly found in thriving relationships, rather than a definitive checklist for a satisfying s*x life. Every relationship is unique.”

Source: Based on research by Dr. John Gottman with over 3,000 couples over 40 years (www.gottman.com), inspired by The Normal Bar Study. To learn about bids for connection, you can visit the Gottmans’ blog.

Disclaimer: Content is for educational purposes and doesn’t constitute therapy. Posts are generalized and may not fit all individuals or situations. Please only do what’s best for you and your situation. My posts don’t speak to situations of abuse, active addiction, or certain mental health conditions.

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Maple Grove, MN
55311

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Monday 9am - 5pm
Tuesday 9am - 5pm
Wednesday 9am - 5pm
Thursday 9am - 5pm

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