12/10/2025
So! Are you having trouble coming up with a gift for someone? Consider a CHIROPRACTIC GIFT CERTIFICATE for that friend or relative you're absolutely SICK AND TIRED of hearing bitch n moan endlessly about their neck pain, or their low back stiffness, and they won't do a DAMN thing about it, except drive you crazy with their complaints!
Can you relate? Of course you can. Because I'm channeling this from a composite of almost 40 years of spouses and friends of whiners with almost identical stories. You know who you are.
Truth be told, your whiner most likely won't ever USE this gift certificate, but you'll feel better knowing you got them something healthy and really helpful (for you both!), And if you wait a few months, you can hit them up for the unused certificate, and use it yourself on your next visit!
OK, so you can get a certificate for as many treatments as you want, and you get a 10% discount. I'll let you squirm figuring out that part, which is always hysterical considering we learn it in, like, 4th grade maybe? { I'll give you a hint: you move the decimal point over one place, but be careful, if you move it in the wrong direction it gets ugly, fast )
So call or text me at 541 631 8305 to order one or if you have questions, like " O.K., so, really, which way do I move the decimal point?"
And to answer your unspoken thought, I don't mind writing this long, rambling silliness because only the same 5 loyal and undiscerning people are going to read this anyway.
Oh and remember, I can usually schedule people for the same or next day appointments, with affordable rates and extended hours for before or after work.
Cheers, and happy holidays!
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