Michael Noll Counseling, LLC

Michael Noll Counseling, LLC Helping people connect with themselves and others to live and thrive in this mixed up world.

Struggling with stress, anxiety, depression, relationship issues, sexual abuse, physical abuse, grief and loss, career goals or other mental health concerns? We will meet you where you are, not where we are; this is our philosophy as therapist's. "We almost always have choices, and the better the choice, the more we will be in control of our lives." (William Glasser)

Come as you and leave a little closer to where you can be.

Sometimes, communication isn't about what we say.It's about what we don't say.Take these two responses:🤐 Passive: “I'm f...
08/28/2026

Sometimes, communication isn't about what we say.

It's about what we don't say.

Take these two responses:
🤐 Passive: “I'm fine.”
➡️ “I'm upset, but I don't want to cause a problem.”

😏 Passive-Aggressive: “I'm fine.”
➡️ “I'm upset... and you should know why.”

Both avoid direct communication—but in different ways.

Passive communication tends to keep thoughts, feelings, and needs inside.

Passive-aggressive communication lets those feelings out—but indirectly.

Neither necessarily means this is who you are. We can move between communication styles depending on the situation, the relationship, and what we're feeling.

The goal isn't perfection.

It's becoming aware of the pattern—and learning to communicate more directly. 🔧

08/28/2026

A Moment of Mindfulness With Michael

✨ "Drop the should's" ✨

beyou soulpsyched stephanie MichaelNollCounseling

08/28/2026

A Moment of Mindfulness With Michael

✨ "Drop the should's" ✨

We don't all communicate the same way.Nearly all of us don't communicate in just one style all the time. Depending on th...
08/27/2026

We don't all communicate the same way.
Nearly all of us don't communicate in just one style all the time. Depending on the situation, who we're talking to, and what we're feeling, we may become more passive, passive-aggressive, aggressive, or assertive.
There are four basic communication styles:
🔹 Passive: Avoids conflict and has difficulty directly expressing thoughts, feelings, and needs.
🔸 Passive-aggressive: Avoids conflict by expressing frustration indirectly rather than communicating openly.
🔴 Aggressive: Expresses oneself in a way that disregards or violates the other person's needs, rights, and oftentimes, boundaries.
🟢 Assertive: Clearly expresses thoughts, feelings, and needs while also respecting the other person's rights and boundaries.
🥅 The goal isn't to communicate perfectly all the time.
It's to become more aware of how you're communicating—and whether that approach is helping you get where you want to go.
Over the next couple of days, we'll take a closer look at these different styles. 👀

I-statements aren't magic. 🪄Starting a sentence with “I feel…” doesn't automatically make it an I-statement.For example:...
08/26/2026

I-statements aren't magic. 🪄

Starting a sentence with “I feel…” doesn't automatically make it an I-statement.

For example:
❌ “I feel like you never listen to me.”

That may start with “I feel,” but it still puts the focus on what the other person is—or isn't—doing.

Try getting underneath the accusation and identifying your actual experience:

✔️ “I feel frustrated when I'm interrupted because I don't feel heard.”

That's the point of an I-statement.

It's a communication tool—not a magic spell. 🔧🪄

It won't guarantee the other person agrees with you.

It won't automatically fix the problem.

It MAY help you communicate what you're actually experiencing and give the conversation a better place to start.

As we work to connect with others, one tool that's often encouraged is the I-statement.An I-statement is a way to commun...
08/25/2026

As we work to connect with others, one tool that's often encouraged is the I-statement.

An I-statement is a way to communicate your experience—what happened, how it affected you, and what you need.

A simple structure can look like this:
When this happens…
I feel…
Because…
What I need is…

The goal isn't to win the conversation or prove someone else wrong.

It's to help the other person better understand your experience without immediately putting them on the defensive.

And here's the important part:

Just because a sentence starts with “I feel…” doesn't automatically make it an effective I-statement. 😉

We'll talk about that tomorrow.

You’re not always avoiding conflict.Sometimes…You’re avoiding the discomfort of conflict.The awkward silence.The possibi...
08/24/2026

You’re not always avoiding conflict.

Sometimes…

You’re avoiding the discomfort of conflict.

The awkward silence.
The possibility they'll get angry.
The fear of hurting someone's feelings.
The fear of being blamed.
The uncomfortable feeling of not knowing what happens next.

So you say, “It’s fine.”

You let it go.

You tell yourself it isn't worth bringing up.

Until it is.

Avoiding a difficult conversation might make things more comfortable right now…

…but it rarely makes the problem disappear.

Sometimes the most uncomfortable thing you can do is also the healthiest:

Say the thing.

Not perfectly.
Not aggressively.
Not with all the right therapy words.

Just honestly.

Quick communication check-in: When you're upset with someone, what do you tend to do?🤐 Shut down?😤 Get angry?🙃 Get sarca...
08/23/2026

Quick communication check-in:

When you're upset with someone, what do you tend to do?

🤐 Shut down?

😤 Get angry?

🙃 Get sarcastic?

🗣️ Say exactly what's wrong?

🤷 Expect them to figure it out?

💬 Talk before you've figured out what you're actually feeling?

None of these answers makes you a terrible communicator.

Most of us learned our communication patterns somewhere along the way.

And we don't always realize we're repeating them.

The first step isn't changing the pattern.

It's noticing it.

So...

What's your default?

Communication comes in more than one flavor. 🗣️ Verbal — what we say. 👀 Nonverbal — what our bodies and actions communic...
08/22/2026

Communication comes in more than one flavor.

🗣️ Verbal — what we say.

👀 Nonverbal — what our bodies and actions communicate.

✍️ Written — texts, emails, notes, messages.

👁️ Visual — images, symbols, expressions, demonstrations.

📋 Formal — structured communication where the details matter.

☕ Informal — everyday conversation, sharing, and connecting.

And here's the thing:

Different situations call for different kinds of communication.

A text might be perfect for:

“I'm running 10 minutes late.”

A text might NOT be the best choice for:

“We need to talk about our relationship.”

Knowing how to communicate something can be just as important as knowing what you want to say.

**The goal isn't to communicate more.

The goal is to communicate better.**

08/21/2026

A Moment of Mindfulness With Michael

"Posture" 🦸🏻🧍🏻🧘🏻

beyou soulpsyched stephanie MichaelNollCounseling

Address

1477 Kenwood Drive, Suite 200
Menasha, WI
54952

Opening Hours

Monday 9am - 8:30pm
Tuesday 9am - 7:30pm
Wednesday 9am - 9pm
Thursday 9am - 9pm
Friday 9am - 9pm

Telephone

+19202151553

Website

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