06/09/2026
If this interaction in your head feels familiar, even if not to this extreme, you’ve met your ego states.
This comes from a psychology framework called Transactional Analysis, the idea that we’re all moving between three internal voices all day.
Once you can hear them around food specifically, so much clicks into place.
The Parent = the rules. Every diet, every good food and bad food, every voice that’s ever told you what you should and shouldn’t be eating.
In intuitive eating we call this one the food police. It thinks it’s keeping you safe. Mostly it just turns meals into something you either win or lose.
The Child = what shows up in response to all that. Sometimes it’s the rebel who eats it in the car just because someone said no. Sometimes it’s the scared child who just wants to hide. Either way it’s arguing with the Parent, not actually checking in with your body.
And then there’s the Adult = the one we’re trying to grow. People think this is the logical voice that talks you out of what you want, but no, it’s the opposite. It’s the one that’s actually listening to your body:
• Are you hungry?
• What would genuinely feel good?
• What’s going to hold you till later?
The adult listens, without a lecture.
So much of a rough relationship with food is just the Parent and the Child going at it forever, rules then rebellion then more rules.
And you don’t heal this by picking a side. Instead, you grow the Adult, the one that doesn’t need the fight because it’s paying attention to your body instead of the rules.
As I tell my clients, you don’t get rid of any of these voices. They just get a lot softer the more you grow your inner adult.
Are you looking for an experienced dietitian who sees the nuance? Someone who gets that helpful food guidance and counseling isn’t enacting more rules, but helping you find the voice that’s actually listening to your body? That’s the work I do.
Come find me at RevvHealth.com
