09/17/2026
There’s a kind of betrayal almost nobody talks about.
It’s when the affair, in a straight marriage, was with someone of the same s*x. A husband whose affair was with a man. A wife whose affair was with a woman. And the moment it comes to light, everyone around the couple seems to already know exactly what it means. He must be gay. She was living a lie. It’s over.
Here’s what I’ve learned in more than a decade of doing this work: that story, the one everyone jumps to in the first sixty seconds, is rarely the whole truth. And often it isn’t true at all.
That’s what our newest episode of Relationships Uncomplicated is about. I sat down with two colleagues from my team, Dr. Yael Haklai-Neagu and Alana Tokayer. All three of us are licensed marriage and family therapists who specialize in infidelity recovery, and all three of us have sat with couples in exactly this situation.
We get into why a same-s*x affair doesn’t automatically mean someone is gay, why attraction, behavior, and identity are three separate things, and the real reasons a straight-identified partner might have a same-s*x encounter, most of which have nothing to do with being secretly gay.
Whether this is your story, or you know someone living it, or you just want to understand people a little more clearly, I think this one will stay with you.
We don’t hand anyone a verdict. We just open the door a little wider than the one the culture slams shut.
New episode out now. Link in bio or at iditsharoni.com/91
It’s okay to stay. It’s also okay to not know yet.
