Loving Me After We, Miami, FL (2026)

08/23/2026

I wouldn’t try to improve their communication because this is emotional abuse.

She suspected her husband was cheating and repeatedly told her:

“I’m not cheating.”
“I’m not having an affair.”
“There is nobody else.”

She was being gaslit.

Then, when directly asked if he’d stepped outside the marriage, he admitted YES.

His defense? Apparently the women weren’t in New York.

Sir.

Infidelity isn’t negated because you crossed state lines.

Then instead of saying, “I lied. You weren’t imagining it,” this Fat Joe/Andrew Tate love child started debating the geography and technical definition of cheating.

That is psychologically destabilizing!

Your brain starts twisting itself trying to reconcile what you knew, what he told you, and what you now know is true.

Meanwhile your nervous system is screaming:

GIRL. SOMETHING IS WRONG.

Then he says he doesn’t care what she does when he’s gone because “what I don’t know won’t p**s me off.”

That’s retroactively rewriting the relationship agreement after violating it.

Sir, you were distributing community peen across multiple jurisdictions. Case closed.

And this is why couples therapy isn’t automatically appropriate for every distressed couple.

When emotional abuse, coercion or manipulation are present, this is no longer simply a communication problem.

Couples work can actually give the abusive partner more information about the other person’s vulnerabilities.

And HER work is grieving the relationship, who you thought he was, AND the version of yourself who kept sitting at the table waiting for someone to develop empathy because you explained your pain beautifully enough.

Girl.

GET UPPP.

There’s no way this Thomas-the-Train-Humpty-Dumpty-Pillsbury-Doughboy-belly-having ass is explaining to me that technically the cheating doesn’t count because it happened in another jurisdiction.

And I don’t care if he was Tucker from Lioness.

The therapist wouldn’t have to terminate couples therapy.

My U-Haul reservation would.

Sometimes closure isn’t getting him to understand.

Sometimes closure is realizing: I understand enough.

08/09/2026

I was 11 the first time I learned to be afraid of being alone.

My dad had just passed. My mom worked upstate and was hours away when I found out.

I did a wall slide down my bedroom wall and held that grief by myself for three days, waiting for her to come home.

That week taught my nervous system that being alone was where the worst things happened.

So I spent the next two decades running from it.

Chasing connection.

Staying in relationships that were hurting me.

Because being lonely with someone still felt safer than being alone with myself.

So many of us are doing the same thing.

If you keep breaking no contact and can’t figure out why, this is the piece nobody talks about.

It isn’t really about them. It’s about a loneliness that’s been there long before them.

The one that keeps pulling you back to relationships that were mirrors, not love stories.

We drop our own self-awareness for people who lack theirs.

We stay with people who barely see us. We ignore what we know because at least someone is there.

And someone barely there still isn’t being alone with a loneliness we’ve been running from our whole lives.

That’s what we’re doing today.

Live workshop · Today · 12pm EST

Breaking No Contact, Part Two: The Loneliness You Were Never Taught to Sit With During No Contact.

Current members you already have the link in your inbox and on your dashboard.

Tap the link in MY STORY or BIO to join and catch it with us.

07/29/2026

Ma’am. You keep telling yourself…

“I’ve never felt this way before.”

“The butterflies are so intense.”

“He just feels different.”

“He feels like home.”

And maybe he does.

But can I ask you something?

Was home actually a safe place for you?

Because if home felt unpredictable…
If love meant walking on eggshells…
If you had to earn affection…
If you never knew which version of someone you were coming home to…

Then of course this feels familiar.

Your nervous system isn’t saying,

“This is my person.”

It’s saying,

“I’ve survived this before.”

And those are not the same thing.

You keep thinking the butterflies mean he’s your person.

You think the obsession means it’s meant to be.

You think you can’t stop thinking about him because there’s this deep connection.

But what if…

The butterflies are anxiety?

The obsession is hyperfixation?

And that “spark” is just your nervous system recognizing a pattern it learned a long time ago?

Because that’s what the Hopeless Romantic does.

She falls in love with potential.

She believes if she just loves hard enough…
waits long enough…
proves herself enough…

This time it’ll be different.

Your nervous system thinks this relationship is the answer to a question you’ve been asking since you were a little girl.

“Will someone finally choose me?”

That’s why you ignore the red flags.

That’s why you explain away the inconsistency.

That’s why every breadcrumb feels like hope instead of what it actually is…

A breadcrumb.

If this post felt a little too personal…

It might be because your nervous system is trying to show you something.

Somewhere along the way, you learned that you had to become a certain version of yourself to feel loved.

Maybe you became the fixer.

The pursuer.

The peacekeeper.

The hopeless romantic.

The one who always waited.

The one who always gave more.

Those versions of you didn’t just appear.

They protected you.

But now…

They might be running your relationships without you even realizing it.

Take my free Relationship Healing Avatar Quiz

Find out who’s been running your emotional show…

…so you can finally become the woman who’s meant to be leading it.

💃🏽 Tap the link in my bio.

06/21/2026

I miss him a lot.

No profound words of wisdom today. If anything, I’m probably the one who needs them.

A while back, I saw a post from that said:

“Eventually, I realized the best way to honor my dad was to take care of his daughter.”

Something about that stayed with me.

And in many ways, that’s how Loving Me After We came to be.

The grief never got easier. I’ve just learned how to sit with it. To stop running from it. To let it move through me without letting it consume me.

I’ve learned how to take care of little me.

The little girl who still misses her father with everything she has.

The little girl who spent a long time wishing life would go back to the way it was before he died.

As much as I hated that he was gone, and as many times as I pleaded with God to make things go back, life had already changed.

Nothing was ever going to be the same.

The task became mine.

To protect her.

To comfort her.

To love her.

To become the safe place she kept searching for.

Years later, I still miss him.

I probably always will.

But somewhere along the way, while grieving him, I learned how to love his daughter.

And I think he would be proud of that.

Happy Father’s Day, Daddy. ❤️

06/03/2026

Your next step.

Start by finding out which pattern is yours.

The quiz takes less than 5 minutes. Your result will tell you exactly which pattern you're running, what's driving it, and what your healing path looks like inside Loving Me After we.

Find your pattern here: https://lovingmeafterwe.com/start/

04/07/2026

You’ve read every book on avoidant attachment.

You know their childhood trauma better than they do.

You’ve got their triggers memorized like a love language.

And all you’re doing is walking on eggshells with a psych degree.

The moment they withdraw?

You spiral.

You reread the texts.

You stalk their stories.

You convince yourself it’s your fault again.

Then Google how to “communicate better” with someone who never responds.

But here’s what no one tells you: Attachment styles aren’t there to explain away bad behavior.

They’re here to show you where you still abandon yourself.

Because the truth is… You’re not just trying to understand them.

You’re trying to earn safety.

You’re trying to make chaos feel stable.

You’re trying to fix someone else, so you don’t have to sit with the part of you that still feels broken.

And until you learn how to stop outsourcing your peace to people who never earned your trust in the first place…

You’ll keep calling it “love” when it’s really just overfunctioning in disguise.

Want to know why you keep getting stuck here?

Take the Relationship Avatar Quiz to discover your nervous system pattern in relationships.

In a few minutes, you’ll find out:

→ Which of the 6 Relationship Avatars you are

→ Why you keep choosing emotionally unavailable people

→ What trauma response is driving your dating patterns

→ How to break the cycle and build secure attachment

Link in bio or comment QUIZ for instant access.

Once you get your results, you’ll get a personalized roadmap to healing your specific pattern.

This is for the you who’s tired of over-explaining.

Tired of chasing potential.

Tired of playing therapist to someone who never asked for help.

Take the quiz. Understand your pattern.

We’re not doing this anymore.

03/30/2026

How long have you been on this road?

Because from where I’m standing, I see someone who has been pouring everything she has into a situation that has taken everything and given back just enough to keep her from leaving.

Just enough.

A crumb here.

A good week there.

And you’ve been calling that love.

But love doesn’t make you feel like you have to earn your place.

Love doesn’t have you shrinking yourself down so someone else stays comfortable.

Love doesn’t leave you lying awake at night wondering if you’re too much, too needy, too emotional, when all you actually wanted was to be loved.

Here’s what this is really about.

And I say this with deep and abiding respect for you.

This is about your self-esteem.

Because somewhere along the way, you started believing that this is what you deserve.

That this inconsistency, this hot and cold, this almost-but-not-quite, that this is just how relationships are.

That wanting to be treated with decency makes you difficult.

That needing a soft landing makes you weak.

It doesn’t.

It makes you human.

And while you’ve been waiting, adjusting, hoping, shrinking, your life has been moving.

Your twenties.

Your thirties.

Your forties.

Your fifties.

Time you cannot get back.

Time you spent on someone who was not losing sleep over any of this.

Someone who was not putting their life on hold.

Someone who was, in every sense of the word, living.

And you were surviving.

That’s the pill.

And I know it’s hard to look at.

I know it burns going down.

But you are not someone who deserves to be survived through.

You deserve someone who looks at you and feels lucky.

Someone who gives you a soft place to land.

Someone who makes you feel more like yourself, not less.

You already know this road isn’t going anywhere.

The question is whether you’re going to get off at the next stop, or keep riding to the end.

The quiz in my bio will show you exactly what’s keeping you stuck.

Start there.

03/24/2026

3 years. 4 years.

The better part of your twenties.

You grieved the relationship.

You grieved the future you imagined with them.

You even did the work….therapy, the books, the sleepless nights unpacking all of it.

But the one thing we rarely talk about is whether we’ve ever grieved her.

She’s the version of you that knew before you did.

The one who stayed anyway.

The part of you that kept the lights on in the parts of herself they never saw.

That grief doesn’t move until you look at it directly.

It’s the grief that sits at the bottom of your chest and makes you feel like something is still wrong even when everything is supposed to be fine.

You think ….I’ve done the work.

I went to therapy.

I should be past this.

But you’re not.

And you don’t know why.

Sometimes the thing keeping you stuck isn’t that you haven’t healed enough.

It’s that you haven’t grieved her yet.

The version of you that stayed.

She’s still waiting.

Swipe. 🤍

Find out if that’s you.

🔗 Take my free Relationship Avatar Quiz :

https://lovingmeafterwe.com/raq/

03/13/2026

Here’s what he’s not telling you in this video:

She pays 70% of the bills.

He recently lost his job and never told her.

He’s been living off savings while secretly putting them in double the debt she thought they were in.

So while he’s talking about how the car makes him feel powerful and confident, he’s been financially disloyal to the woman who never made him feel less than.

Insecure men will resent you for the same loyalty that saved them.

She didn’t judge his Corsa.

She saw him.

She stayed.

And instead of being grateful, he punished her for it.

How? By hiding his job loss.

By doubling the debt she knows about without telling her.

By making her carry the financial burden while being jobless.

Because here’s what insecure men can’t handle: You seeing them struggle.

When you love them at their lowest, they don’t feel grateful.

They feel exposed.

You become a walking reminder that they needed you.

And insecure men can’t live with that.
So they punish you for witnessing their weakness.

He’s not buying that Audi to honor her loyalty.

He’s buying it to prove he doesn’t need her, while secretly draining her financially.

This is what financial abuse looks like:
Hiding job loss.

Secret debt.

Living off her income while performing independence.

Making her think they’re partners while treating her like a safety net.

And the whole time, she’s thinking, “I supported him. I believed in him. Why does he resent me?”

Because you saw him weak. And insecure men would rather destroy you than be grateful you stayed.

The signs were there early. They always are.

We often just don’t realize it.

Remember that men like this don’t announce themselves.

They pretend to have gratitude while planning resentment.

And if you don’t catch it early, you’ll end up carrying a man who’s punishing you for being the reason he’s still standing.

🎥

02/15/2026

A lot of hyper-religious men were raised hearing, “God protects the good. God punishes evil.”

But in their own homes?

They watched abuse go unchecked.
They watched infidelity get excused.
They watched power win.
They watched silence protect the offender.

No lightning bolt came.
No divine intervention happened.
No one stopped it.

So what did they actually learn?

They learned morality is performative.
They learned authority goes unchallenged.
They learned you can harm someone and still be called “a good Christian man.”

That’s where the split forms.

Outwardly?
Bible verses.
Church attendance.
“God-fearing.”
“I want a Proverbs 31 woman.”

Privately?
Lying.
Cheating.
Manipulating.
Gaslighting.
Stealing peace from everyone around them.

Because they saw the truth early:
The man who cheated kept the marriage.
The man who controlled everyone kept the power.
The man who harmed others still got respected on Sunday.

Many of these men were also abused and told to stay silent.
Scripture was weaponized.
Obedience was enforced.
Masculinity was defined as dominance and suppression.

They were never given language for what happened.
Never given therapy.
Never given permission to grieve.

So they repress.

And repression doesn’t eliminate trauma — it fragments identity.

When your first experiences of intimacy are fused with shame, fear, secrecy, and power, intimacy gets distorted.
Desire tangles with control.
Vulnerability feels unsafe.
Exposure feels catastrophic.

So instead of confronting their trauma, they perform righteousness.

Publicly: devout, moral, “man of God.”
Privately: unresolved, compulsive, split.

They don’t fear God.
They fear exposure.

And when you say, “I want a man of God,” but you’re not evaluating character, accountability, emotional maturity, and self-awareness…

You’re selecting for performance.

Because churchy chitchat does not equal integrity.

Loving Me After We

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