05/29/2026
This past spring I brought HTES to a spiritual leadership retreat centering Black women.
The retreat leader and I *xologist discussed at length about how I may be received as this is not normally a topic Christian & Christian adjacent Black women are having enthusiastically.
The first night of the retreat was a simple meet and greet and I was surprised how nervous I was. As the conversation moved through the night, the topic of intimacy and the erotic came up.
And I was honest- I gave myself permission to be “rejected” and to move through the discomfort of shame and shrink to the space respectability politics places all of us, and particularly those of us who are q***r & have been ignoring our calling and our gifts.
Knowing I am somatically resourced to courageously have this conversation because it creates the container in which EYE can create my safety- I had a vulnerable conversation with spiritual Elders. Mind you- these are not MY elders.
A VERY VULNERABLE MOMENT
Special note: I did not grow up with spiritual elders & my relationship with the Black Church was unpleasant.
My concerns and vulnerability was met in ways that NURTURED my whole being.
By the time it was time for my retreat session, we were ALL in.
I have experienced and witnessed before the power of radical self-permission that changes one’s life immensely.
This was that for me.
This is how we heal our erotic selves- doing the healing work with erotic intelligence to create capacity for the relationships we want to experience.
