09/24/2026
Fifteen years later…
I wrote this in December of 2011 for the Savannah Morning News. I was writing to my son, but somewhere along the way, it became something bigger—a collection of the things I had learned about life up to that point.
I stumbled across it again recently, and reading the words of the woman I was fifteen years ago was a little surreal.
Some things have changed. A lot has happened.
But apparently, at my core, I haven’t changed all that much.
I still believe in kindness. I still believe in ridiculously big dreams, high standards, chosen family, dogs, magic, doing your own research, laughing until your face hurts, and protecting your own happiness.
And apparently I’ve been preaching boundaries a lot longer than I realized. 😂
I’m proud of this one.
So, from 2011 me to 2026 me—and maybe to somebody who needs to read it today—here it is.
Mother’s Guide to a Happy Life
By Sarah Haley
Originally published December 19, 2011
Life. It’s never easy.
At best, it’s challenging. It’s in rising to face the challenges that you truly live.
I’m writing this to you, my son, in hopes that you’ll be given a brighter perspective on life, an unbridled sense of abandon, and a determination to live each day as though tomorrow were not the goal, but rather, that each moment defines your purpose. No matter what else you may take from this, each line is filled with my love for you.
Life is meant to be lived.
There will be times that you have days of sadness, fits of anger, torrents of tears, or unbearable heartache. Face them, conquer them, find the lesson.
In doing this, you’ll find yourself.
So, here it is. I give you a “Mother’s Guide To A Happy Life.” The lessons that I’ve learned, and pass on to you. Whether or not you know it, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love you.
There is only one you. Be the best YOU that you can be. Be so amazing that you need to copyright yourself. Make people wish that they could be you.
Love unconditionally. Be humble. Be kind. Why? Because karma will come knocking when you aren’t.
Don’t just shoot for the stars. Knock them out of the way. Set your goals, set them high. Then … surpass them. Do it with ease.
Don’t you dare settle for what the world thinks you’re capable of. Chase your dreams and show them ALL how wrong they were.
Give up on giving up. Right NOW! FOR GOOD!
Push yourself, everyday, to do one thing better than you did yesterday.
Never listen to people who tell you that “you can’t.” They are just the people who never had the guts to try. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. Make it your job to have people in a state of awe at the amazingness that is you.
Love with all your heart, whenever the chance presents itself.
Laugh until your face hurts, until you get those little cramps behind your ears. That will do you more good than any therapist ever will.
Pet dogs, smile at strangers. Be the reason that someone, somewhere had a good day.
Oh, THIS is important! Remember that it’s always good to speak kindly when in an argument. Failing that, make sure you can hit hard, or run fast.
Dream BIG, believe in yourself, even when no one else does. Your doubters do not determine the outcome, they simply present you with the option to fail.
Don’t ever lower your standards. The people you NEED in your life will rise to yours. I guarantee that.
Don’t abide or participate in gossip. It will only ever hurt people in the end.
Learn and remember at least one good joke.
Eat vegetables, even if you hate them. Your colon will thank you.
Be a force to be reckoned with, stand up for what you believe in. Not someone who is easily knocked down. Your words and your thoughts create your fate. I beg you, choose both carefully. One is no more powerful than the other.
Remember that you are never solely responsible for another person’s happiness. Make sure you always put your happiness first.
Heartache is never permanent. That doesn’t mean that it will ever hurt any less each time it happens. Chili pepper, dark chocolate and a good red w**e are time-tested cures. So are voodoo dolls and stick pins. I promise.
Magic is real. It happens every day. All you need is faith in the unseen.
Full moons are beautiful things. Try not to miss one. Let them take your breath away.
Never just accept anything. Listen to both sides. Do your own research and form your own opinion.
Fads are for followers. Be the trend-setter. March to your own music. Never fear being different, it makes life worth it.
Home is where you make it. Your family is of your own choosing. So make sure it’s comfortable and choose wisely.
Mistakes happen. To everyone. Constantly. They’re just learning opportunities in disguise.
No one in the world can ever replace your grandma, the woman you refer to as Mom. Rightfully so, because she is. She is the best gift you’ll ever receive, so treat her as such.
Money is meant to spent. Just be smart, and spend it on your bills first.
Lastly, live in the moment. Enjoy the NOW, because there is never any certainty about later. Love the ones who deserve it, pray for the ones that don’t.
Smile. No matter what. I did. Trust me, it helps.
Sarah Haley is a nurse and lives in Savannah.
