Karen Pando-Mars

05/06/2026

UNDOING ALONENESS
So much trauma-informed therapy highlights the importance of somatic interventions, co-regulation and getting to the root of trauma without re/traumatization. AEDP adds the explicit and experiential undoing of aloneness at the epicenter of suffering. We see this so clearly in attachment and relational trauma, and in the isolation that comes with having marginalized identities. It’s one thing to be present with someone, really feeling moved by that person. And it taps another level when they can feel you with them, and deeply know you get them, and how you see and understand them. To know this, we must ask. Please share your ideas and responses with me here. I’d love to hear how these ideas land in your experience.

04/23/2026

Very happy to be heading to San Diego next week to be part of the CAMFT conference. Presenting recently at PESI’s attachment summit, I’m seeing how the explicit relational work of AEDP and tuning into the make up of different insecure patterns is so valuable. Cultivating secure functioning is such a key ingredient to healing, and how we get there is different for folks with different patterns, as no one size fits all. I’m excited share and learn with folks next week…
And a hint of coming attractions—- for a deeper dive I’ll be at the Cape Cod institute Jun 30-Jul 3. More on that soon…

03/08/2026

And for fun and inspiration, seeing Brandi Carlile live in San Francisco was a special treat

03/08/2026

03/08/2026

I’m excited to present at The PESI attachment summit on March 27,2026…

If you’ve ever had a client show up who is withdrawn, convinced no one understands them, wants help yet is hard to reach, beginning treatment can be daunting.
Through the lens of attachment, a way to understand emerges: fear, old wounds, and a nervous system on high alert. With somatic, AEDP, IFS, DBT play therapy, and other modalities, you help clients move from shutdown to safety and trust. therapy stops managing behavior and starts repairing connection.
Mastering attachment isn’t optional. it’s how clients truly heal.
I will be joining experts, Diana Fosha, Dan Siegel Frank Anderson and others as they share trauma-informed, somatic, and evidence-based strategies that create real relational change—interactive, hands-on, and ready to transform your practice.

01/24/2026

Tomorrow I’ll be having a book event about “Tailoring Treatment to Attachment Patterns at … a talk, a reading, a signing, a meet & greet with friends and colleagues.
Here’s a snippet about my choice to focus on attachment patterns rather than styles that came from a podcast on The Eternal Student 360 podcast with Gerald Brooks.

01/01/2026

Happy New Year! A few days before the end of the year I saw this sunrise, reminding me how much I love to start the day with dawn’s reflection and gratitude for my life, my family and friends, colleagues and clients. Every day brings something to learn, to ponder, to share. In 2026, I hope to find ways to bring more sanity and light to our world.

Sending each and all of you wishes for love, health and peace starting in our hearts and the courage to face whatever needs attention in our lives.

2025 was a fulfilling year with the publication of Tailoring Treatment, unpacking it with conversations about attachment with Gerald and the eternal student 360 podcast and in the monthly seminar with colleagues and clinicians through the . There is much more to bring - and I look forward to sharing more here soon.

2025 was also the first year without my parents and I keep feeling how grief brings tenderness for the preciousness of every day and a longing to be kind and caring, present with meaningful connection.

12/16/2025

I first heard this quote from which began my search for the hard to find book, Infancy in Uganda, about Ainsworth’s first study about the development of attachment, “the growth of love.” Her detailed observations about the families she studied laid the groundwork for decades of attachment research. I hear there may be a reprint in 2026.

04/16/2025

Here is the recent conversation Diana Fosha and I had with Dr. Sarah Bren on the Securely Attached podcast. Sarah is a great listener and deeply engaging. We would love to hear your responses.
Norton Mental Health AEDP Institute

Discover how rethinking attachment through the lens of AEDP offers insights into healthier attachment patterns and relationships.

04/05/2025

Here at the AEDP “In it together”conference, we are together to hold our book!!! Deep appreciation for how writing this book with Diana Fosha was indeed a process of being in it together!

A shout out to the SF AEDP Essential Skills 2012 course participants who asked me “but what do you do when patients have different attachment styles?”

In 2016, came the paper, now here’s the book, a deepened and expanded response to that question, with the grids of each configuration shifting from styles to patterns of attachment- and their corresponding clinical markers and interventions…

I’m feel so happy and excited to be sharing and celebrating it in person at our conference!