01/09/2025
Reach Your Goals
What do you want to see more of in your relationship? Intimacy, closeness, trust, friendship?
What do you want to see less of? Arguments, silence, misunderstandings, criticism?
A weekly relationship check-in with your partner can help you reach these goals.
This weekly check-in has three vital sections:
1. Warm-up. Start the conversation with appreciation for each other and celebrations of what’s going well. This sets the tone for the rest of the conversation.
2. Understanding. Before you come up with solutions, you have to understand each point of view and agree on what problem you’re solving together. Take turns as Speaker and Listener. Resist the urge to persuade your partner of your viewpoint, as it is generally counterproductive. Try to find mutual understanding instead, even if you don't agree.
3. Compromise. Now that you understand your partner’s perspective, you can manage the problem together. If you bring a perpetual problem to the meeting, try to find a temporary compromise and agree to revisit it later.
Important note: Take breaks if you find that you and/or your partner are becoming flooded. A positive (win-win) outcome is much more likely if partners aren’t overwhelmed in the process.
Be gentle with each other and ease into it, especially if you don’t already practice regular check-ins.
