10/19/2022
Thanks to Karla Gutierrez I got to go see Dr Andrew Hubberman (Stanford Neuroscientist) speak live for my birthday.
It’s crazy how much I’ve learned (and unlearned) about emotions in this past year.
So much of what I thought I learned about emotions over the previous years from the self help and personal development industry was not only wrong, but turns out to be unhelpful and toxic.
A lot of people (including myself) have taught things strictly based on anecdotal evidence (personal experience) but that a lot of the times (not always) can be chalked up to confirmation bias and many other cognitive biases that blind us from what is actually happening.
I used to think emotions were something to “train”. If you felt happy more you would be training it in your nervous system. If you were depressed its because you were training sadness.
Emotions are not a choice, happiness is not a choice. The pursuit of happiness in itself is of low moral value anyways.
The emotional system basically tells us when we’re on track or off track toward a meaningful goal (or avoiding a painful one).
So many teachings out there show people how to disregard their emotional systems by stating that is has nothing to do with what is happening.
There are instances (mostly anomalies) when peoples emotional systems are highly dysregulated - which does happen. But the hyperactive responses are still pointing to something that needs to be solved... there may be a hole in the way you’re looking at the world.
So even with hyper responses - they are still relevant, and happening with a high degree of intensity because the “problem is not being solved”.
This is why some forms of cognitive or talk therapy are helpful for people, it helps them map their past… to fill the holes and recalibrate their thinking.
In some cases, understanding what happened and why it played out is regulating.
