Dr. Amanda Aster-McKenna, Psy.D

Dr. Amanda Aster-McKenna, Psy.D Dr. Aster-McKenna is a licensed psychologist specializing in providing cognitive behavioral therapie

Ever lose your patience with your kids.....and then spend the next hour beating yourself up for losing your patience?Tha...
08/07/2026

Ever lose your patience with your kids.....and then spend the next hour beating yourself up for losing your patience?
That’s the part of parenting stress we don’t talk about enough.
The hard moment happens.
Then your inner critic shows up:
“I should’ve handled that better.”
“Why can’t I be more patient?”
“I’m failing at this.”
Now you’re carrying the stress AND judging yourself for being stressed.
Working parents already carry enough.
You don’t need to turn every difficult moment into evidence that you’re doing parenting wrong.
A hard moment is a moment.
Not a verdict.
Notice the thought. Make room for the emotion. Then ask yourself:
What kind of parent do I want to be in the next moment?
That’s where Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can be incredibly powerful.
💬 Working parents: what’s your inner critic most likely to say when you’re overwhelmed?
Let’s call some of these thoughts out together.
Save this for your next hard parenting day—and send it to a parent who’s harder on themselves than they deserve to be.

A lot of people do not realize how little of their week is actually theirs until they see it written down.For working pa...
08/05/2026

A lot of people do not realize how little of their week is actually theirs until they see it written down.
For working parents, caregivers, and overwhelmed professionals, the calendar often contains three kinds of time:
Obligation: work, appointments, caregiving and deadlines
Maintenance: errands, cleaning, meals and household tasks
Choice: something you selected because you genuinely wanted it
Try this three-part calendar audit:
Look at the next seven days and label each block:
O — Obligation
M — Maintenance
C — Choice
The goal is not to create a perfectly balanced schedule. Most weeks will not be balanced.
The goal is to notice whether you are represented anywhere in your own life—not only as an employee, parent, partner, caregiver or problem-solver.
If “choice” is missing, do not wait for a completely free day. Protect one small block before the week fills up.
Which category owns most of your calendar right now: obligation, maintenance or choice?
For support with working-parent burnout, anxiety, stress or the mental load, visit the link in my bio to request a consultation.

08/04/2026

At 16, I read a book that changed the direction of my life.
I was taking abnormal psychology when I read Sybil. It left me with questions I could not stop asking:
How do our earliest relationships shape us?
What helps someone move through trauma?
What makes meaningful change possible?
Those questions led me through psychology training, Kean University’s Psy.D. program, and eventually to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.
What drew me to ACT was the way it brings evidence-based cognitive and behavioral therapy into conversation with the Eastern philosophy of non-attachment. It does not ask us to eliminate every difficult thought or feeling. It helps us change our relationship with those experiences so they do not have to control the way we live.
But my clients taught me the most important lesson.
I may help create the conditions for change, but my clients are the agents of their own change. Bearing witness to behavioral, cognitive, and life transformation is one of the greatest privileges of my work.
If you are considering therapy in New Jersey and wondering whether my ACT-based approach may be right for you, visit the link in my bio to request a consultation.

08/04/2026

At 16, reading Sybil in an abnormal psychology class changed the direction of my life.
It sparked questions about trauma, family dynamics, and human behavior that eventually led me through psychology training, Kean University’s Psy.D. program, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.
ACT resonated with me because it brings evidence-based cognitive and behavioral therapy together with the Eastern philosophy of non-attachment. It helps people make room for difficult internal experiences while continuing to move toward the life and relationships they value.
My clinical training also brought me into a partial hospitalization setting, where I primarily worked with uniformed service professionals experiencing PTSD and co-occurring substance-use concerns.
That work reinforced something I still believe deeply:
I may be part of the catalyst for change, but my clients are the agents of their own change.
Being trusted to witness that transformation is one of the greatest privileges of my career.
If you are considering therapy in New Jersey and want to explore whether my ACT-based approach may be a fit, I have placed the consultation link in the first comment.

Finish this sentence.Outside of being a parent...I am someone who __________.If that sentence was harder to finish than ...
07/31/2026

Finish this sentence.
Outside of being a parent...
I am someone who __________.

If that sentence was harder to finish than you expected.....you’re not alone.
Most parents don’t lose themselves all at once.
It happens quietly.
One interrupted dinner.
One skipped hobby.
One vacation planned around everyone else’s needs.

One season where every decision begins with someone else’s name.
Until one day you realize you’ve become an incredible parent.....but you’ve stopped making room for the person you were before.

Today’s reflection isn’t about becoming less devoted to your family.
It’s about remembering that your children deserve to know the whole person raising them.

For me...
Outside of being a mom...
I’m someone who finds joy in meaningful conversations, quiet moments, and understanding what makes people feel more connected.

Now I’d love to hear yours.

👇 Finish the sentence:
Outside of being a parent...
I am someone who __________.
Before you leave, read a few of the comments.
You might help another parent remember a part of themselves they’ve forgotten.

Instagram saw the beautiful vacation photo.It didn’t see the meltdown five minutes before it.It didn’t see the argument ...
07/29/2026

Instagram saw the beautiful vacation photo.
It didn’t see the meltdown five minutes before it.
It didn’t see the argument over sunscreen. The overtired child. The plans that fell apart. Or the parent trying to keep everyone regulated while quietly becoming overwhelmed themselves.

For working parents, family vacation often comes with an invisible expectation:
We planned this.
We paid for this.
Everyone should be enjoying it.

And when reality does not resemble the highlight reel, one difficult moment can quickly become:
“Maybe we’re doing this whole vacation wrong.”
That is the deeper trap.
The meltdown is not what makes the vacation feel like a failure. It is the pressure to believe that a meaningful family experience should look peaceful, happy, and picture-perfect at all times.

Vacation with children is still real life. It can be loud, loving, exhausting, chaotic, and meaningful—all in the same day.

Finish the sentence in the comments:
“The vacation photo didn’t show ______.”

Then send this carousel to a working parent who needs the reminder that the parts nobody posts still count.

Read Dr. Amanda Aster-McKenna’s July newsletter, “When Vacation Doesn’t Feel Like a Vacation”.

https://themontclairtherapist.com/when-vacation-doesnt-feel-like-a-vacation-finding-presence-when-family-life-feels-overwhelming/

You planned the trip. Packed the bags. Managed everyone’s needs. So why are you the one who doesn’t feel rested?Because ...
07/24/2026

You planned the trip.

Packed the bags. Managed everyone’s needs. So why are you the one who doesn’t feel rested?

Because family vacation does not always remove the mental load—it often relocates it.

Different routines. Later bedtimes. Constant decisions. Overtired children. Work notifications. Financial pressure. And the quiet expectation that everyone should be enjoying every minute.
Working parents can love their families, value the memories they are creating and still feel completely overwhelmed.

A meaningful summer is not measured by how smoothly every day goes. Sometimes, it is found in the imperfect moments when you pause, reconnect and return to what matters.

What part of summer parenting has felt heavier than you expected?

Read Dr. Amanda’s July newsletter through the link in bio—and send this to a parent who deserves less pressure this summer.

[https://themontclairtherapist.com/when-vacation-doesnt-feel-like-a-vacation-finding-presence-when-family-life-feels-overwhelming/]

Confession...I love summer with my kids.I’ve also caught myself wondering how many weeks are left until school starts.Bo...
07/22/2026

Confession...
I love summer with my kids.
I’ve also caught myself wondering how many weeks are left until school starts.
Both are true.
I don’t think enough parents admit that out loud.
Somewhere along the way, we started believing that if we needed quiet, routine, or even a little space, it meant we loved our children less.
I don’t believe that anymore.
This time of year can be beautiful, exhausting, loud, joyful, overstimulating, and deeply meaningful—all at once.
If you’ve been feeling guilty for looking forward to backpacks, routines, or simply drinking your coffee while it’s still hot, you’re probably not alone.
💬 I’ll go first...
I can love summer.....and still miss my routine.
Your turn.
Finish the sentence:
I can __________.....and __________.
Read through the comments before you leave. I have a feeling you’ll find yourself in someone else’s words.
If this made you feel seen, send it to another working parent who needs this reminder today.

You can hold yourself accountable without being cruel to yourself.On International Self-Compassion Day, consider this: W...
07/18/2026

You can hold yourself accountable without being cruel to yourself.
On International Self-Compassion Day, consider this: What might change if your inner voice became a source of support—not another source of pressure?
Self-compassion does not require ignoring your choices, lowering your standards, or pretending that everything is okay. It can look like acknowledging what happened, making room for difficult emotions, and choosing your next step without using shame as motivation.
For the working parent, professional, caregiver, or high achiever who is always extending patience to everyone else: you deserve access to that kindness, too.
Today, notice how you speak to yourself—and choose a kinder way forward.
Comment with one compassionate sentence you need to hear today. Then save or share this with someone who is learning to be gentler with themselves.
If self-criticism, perfectionism, burnout, or difficult emotions are making it hard to move forward, send The Montclair Therapist a message or visit the link in our bio to explore support.

07/17/2026

What if the goal wasn’t to stop difficult thoughts—but to stop letting them control your life?

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is an evidence-based approach that helps people build psychological flexibility so they can move toward a meaningful life, even when anxiety, stress, self-doubt, or difficult emotions are present.

I’m Dr. Amanda Aster McKenna, PsyD, a licensed psychologist in Montclair, New Jersey, and ACT is one of the primary therapeutic frameworks I use in my practice.

Many of us spend years waiting to feel less anxious before making a change.
Waiting to feel more confident before speaking up.
Waiting to feel motivated before taking care of ourselves.

ACT teaches something different.

Instead of fighting every uncomfortable thought or emotion, we learn how to make room for them while choosing actions that align with what matters most to us.

Whether you’re balancing work and family, navigating burnout, managing anxiety, or simply feeling stuck, you don’t have to wait until everything feels “fixed” before you begin living the life you want.

Over the next several weeks, I’ll be sharing practical, evidence-based insights into Acceptance and Commitment Therapy—what it is, how it works, and how these skills can help you navigate everyday life with greater resilience.

📍The Montclair Therapist
Montclair, New Jersey

What questions do you have about ACT? Leave them in the comments—I may answer them in an upcoming video.

Address

85 Park Street , Ste. 2J
Montclair, NJ
07042

Opening Hours

Monday 12pm - 9pm
Tuesday 12pm - 6pm
Thursday 12pm - 9pm

Website

Alerts

Be the first to know and let us send you an email when Dr. Amanda Aster-McKenna, Psy.D posts news and promotions. Your email address will not be used for any other purpose, and you can unsubscribe at any time.

Contact The Practice

Send a message to Dr. Amanda Aster-McKenna, Psy.D:

Shortcuts

Share

Category