Stacey Pinilis - Parenting With A Pause

05/08/2026

For the past decade or so I was at war with flies. I’d open my front door and was accosted by a swarm of buzzing black flies. Disgusted and embarrassed, I tried everything to get rid of them. The exterminator, fly strips, lavender plants and washing the floor of the entryway did not remedy the situation. I even tried to make peace with the flies thinking that accepting them would magically make them disappear. I looked up fly symbolism to see if they had a message for me that I just wasn’t getting. “Abundance is available to you now. Never give up. You have the ability to reach your goals.” Blah. Blah. Didn’t make me feel any better. One day a storm blew open the side doors to the entryway. The flies were gone with the wind and never returned. The solution to my problem was right in front of my eyes, and I never thought to open those doors. It made me think about how hard we sometimes make things for ourselves. I offer my fly story to remind you that maybe there is another way of looking at something you are struggling with or another solution to your problem. Just knowing that a different path forward might be near could give you the opportunity you need to JUST OPEN THE DOOR.

09/19/2025

09/12/2024

How are all of my Empty Nesters doing? Here’s a recent photo of the nest I last posted. It’s covered up by new growth and some leaves about to fall. It’s still there holding the memories of the life that lived there. I’m 3 weeks in and still processing this new life chapter. If you are going through it too, I’d love to hear how you’re doing.

07/18/2024

Parents with older kids might experience moments when our kids tell us something negative they remember from childhood. This is great advice for us to do when we’re feeling defensive or upset and want to provide our version of the story.

05/07/2024

Do you believe in signs? A couple weeks ago we had to say goodbye to our sweet dog Sunny. It was heartbreaking and came out of nowhere. One day she just didn’t get up and got worse over the next few days. She was such a big presence in our lives and I miss her! The day after she died I saw a robin’s nest in our yard. It was in a short tree so I could see perfectly inside. Two teeny baby birds and a blue shell. I said hello and thanked Sunny for the gift. Over the next two weeks I used up all of my remaining ICloud storage to take pictures and videos of these birds. I felt them in my heart just where I feel Sunny. I was always quiet and careful so as not to scare them or their mama who was always nearby. Yesterday the nest was empty. I can’t ignore the fact that my nest will soon be empty too. I stared at the nest amazed at nature and I thanked the birds and Sunny for this gift. And then I finally put my son’s graduation sign on my front lawn.

04/22/2024

I see you too.

03/13/2024

I was surprised to find out that a definition of the phrase hang in there means to “remain persistent and determined in difficult circumstances.” This seems to suggest taking more action than I would have thought. Initially I posted to let you all know that’s it’s ok and will get better. Time changes, life changes, war. Things can feel tough. I like the idea that hanging in there is not actually a passive state of just chilling out and trusting that this too shall pass. What small action step can you take as you hang in there? Being persistent and determined is so empowering. I like this definition and can see how it can help us move through difficult things a bit more effectively. What are you willing to do today to make yourself feel better?

02/20/2024

We’re so excited about the letters we’ve gotten from parents and even some young adults wanting some wisdom. Here’s the latest. I hope it helps Muffin Top Mama! Maybe this will resonate with some of you too!

Dear Parenting with a Pause, I’ve been gaining weight due to menopause and every time I complain about how my clothes don’t fit me, my daughter tells me to stop trash talking my body and that I’m going to give her an eating disorder. Is it so wrong that I express frustration about MY body’s ...

02/08/2024

It goes fast right? You were just trying to get your kids to put on their jackets and get in the car so they’d get to school on time. Now you might be getting ready to send them to college. Every stage of parenting comes with questions. Are you wondering about something in particular? Worrying about something? We got you covered. You can drop your question right here in the comments! Ask away. You’ll see you’re not alone. We all have similar struggles and similar questions!!

02/01/2024

Introducing Dear Parenting with a Pause! A new advice column for parents and people who have parents! Submit your questions through visiting my website https://staceypinilislcsw.com/dear-parenting-with-a-pause/ You’ll get answers from two perspectives - mine and one from my favorite daughter Olivia! Looking forward to hearing from you!