The Better Living Collaborative

The Better Living Collaborative Get started with my free self-compassion guide at radicalself.ck.page

I'm committed to providing individuals and organizations accessible tools (not rules!) for ‘Radical Wellness' - the art and science of being okay, even when things around us aren't.

It's happening more and more: someone comes to me feeling helpless, or guilty, because they are so upset about the thing...
06/04/2026

It's happening more and more: someone comes to me feeling helpless, or guilty, because they are so upset about the things going on in the world that it's hard to carry on.

My first question is - 𝘞𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘣𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯?

As a feeling, caring human, of course you are struggling. If you've been paying attention at all, of course you are upset. It's upsetting. It's all deeply upsetting.

But I don't want you to suffer. That won't help anyone. So, after we recognize that it's absolutely okay - and in fact completely normal - to be upset by what's going on, let's look at some strategies to create a little relief.

Treat yourself extra kindly right now. A little extra sleep, a creative distraction, a little bit of nature, can all go a long way towards grounding you and give your nervous system a much-needed break.

Keep a routine if you can. Something predictable can help move you through your day. Avoid constant social media scrolling - set aside a time to look, then move on. Your body is not calibrated to take on trauma 24/7.

Taking action can feel empowering - but take the action that suits you, not someone else. Say 'no' to the other things.

Even if you're an introvert, don't isolate. Find your safe space and spend a little time there regularly.

Get support. Counselors, therapists, coaches, peer groups, etc. are all here to navigate and process these tough times with you. It's what we're for.

Be Well, friends - Be Radically Well - you are not alone.

Healing isn’t simple—it’s messy, intense, and sometimes downright confusing. You’ll probably ask yourself, “Why am I doi...
06/03/2026

Healing isn’t simple—it’s messy, intense, and sometimes downright confusing. You’ll probably ask yourself, “Why am I doing this?” more than once. So, here’s the real secret: it’s not just about feeling better (though that’s pretty amazing when it happens!), it’s about becoming a force for good. Your healing creates a ripple effect, inspiring others to repair and grow, too. 🌱

Healing serves the world— and you can be the change that stops the cycle of damage.


The number of times I hear 'Well, but - I'm not really sure...' after inquiring about a trauma or an abusive encounter i...
06/02/2026

The number of times I hear 'Well, but - I'm not really sure...' after inquiring about a trauma or an abusive encounter is extraordinarily high.

Why? Because we still have this message that abusive behavior is only overt. That it is always loud, raging, physically aggressive behavior that leaves a mark. We believe s*xually abusive behavior is always a r*pe and always done brutally, usually by someone we don't know.

Those kinds of abuses certainly exist (sadly). And they are awful.

But so, too, does the kind of abuse that gaslights someone into submission and causes them to stop believing or trusting themselves. The kind that causes them to discount anything short of that overt abuse as 'okay.'

Physical, s*xual, and psychological abuses usually do not announce themselves as abuse - in fact, they are often followed up by a kindness of some sort: a text message, a small gift, a period of especially helpful or appreciative behavior... Or, they may be followed up by a justification - they were having such a bad day, or even more gaslighting - that you were just being so difficult, so unfair, or so resistant...

So the story becomes one of confusion, self-doubt, and self-blame. Then story becomes symptoms: insomnia, depression, hypervigilance, anxiety...

Let me assure that if it was really 'okay,' these would not be your responses. That's not what 'okay' feels like. So, if this is your experience, it's time to reach out for that support - you deserve to feel much better than 'okay' to begin with. And, you deserve a safe place to explore what's happened so that it doesn't continue to limit your experiences. We can't change what's happened but we can change how what's happened is affecting us.

Reach out. There's support available. And you are worth it!

There has been so much heaviness, tragedy, and trauma lately. So many of us are grieving, or feeling fearful, or angry, ...
05/31/2026

There has been so much heaviness, tragedy, and trauma lately. So many of us are grieving, or feeling fearful, or angry, or maybe even in shock. Maybe all of the above.

But, we don't always know what to do with these kinds of feelings in the midst of a trauma or in the midst of a chaotic world. So, very often, individuals - especially those with freeze and fawn trauma responses - will just keep going about their normal routines.

If this is you, please know it's absolutely normal to do this. If this is someone you know, please don't categorize this person as someone who 'doesn't care.' You see, routine is a regulator. Routine can be, in and of itself, a nervous system regulator that signals to our body things are okay (or going to be.) Why would we want this? Because in order to respond, to cope, to eventually process the weight of what is going on around us, we have to be able to function. If your nervous system has been hijacked by the traumatic experience, that can't happen. So, when you're cleaning out a closet, or planning for the work week, or going grocery shopping, you're giving your nervous system a chance to break away from the trauma response and giving your brain critical time to think clearly, organize thoughts, and make plans.

Mental wellness is about balance: especially when living through real life situations. We've seen horrifying things recently, we've experienced both real and vicarious trauma, and many of us have felt very threatened. But, we also have the pressure of living: paying bills, taking care of our families, going to school or keeping other commitments. Life won't necessarily stop and so we must permit ourselves to do both things - process and release our emotions, and find ways to cope. Routine is one way we can cope.

As trauma survivors, we often dismiss our rightful place. We step back.We stand down. We remain quiet. After all, there ...
05/29/2026

As trauma survivors, we often dismiss our rightful place.
We step back.
We stand down.
We remain quiet.

After all, there was likely a time when doing this was the best way to survive. And not only is there nothing wrong with what you did, there's nothing wrong with feeling compelled to still do it.

But, you also need to know that stepping away from the table means your voice is lost - or worse.

Knowing we are safe now means working to craft a new survival approach; the one where you step into your power. Radical wellness tools permit us to work on new programming and new responses so we can take our rightful place AT the table - not on it.
Step forward.
Stand up.
Speak out.

A lot of discussion about connection and relationships refer to romantic partnerships. Those are important, but let's ta...
05/28/2026

A lot of discussion about connection and relationships refer to romantic partnerships. Those are important, but let's talk for a minute about healing relationships -

Healing relationships are some of the most powerful tools in our healing toolbox. In fact, healing relationships have been known to reduce cellular inflammation and reverse the physical affects of trauma as well as the emotional and psychological.

All that's required for a healing relationship is one that is authentically supportive and non-judgemental.

Having someone who is reliably there for you, offering you unconditional acceptance of wherever you are in the moment is profoundly transformational (so is being that person for someone else!)

The person can be a romantic partner, but it doesn't have to be. It can also be a family member, a 'found family' member, a friend, or even a mentor, spiritual leader, coach, or therapist.

Who are your healing relationships?
Are you the healing relationship for anyone else? (I bet you are! Even if you don't know it.) 😀

Radical Wellness is more than a powerful tool for ourselves. And while you are absolutely worth having this kind of grou...
05/27/2026

Radical Wellness is more than a powerful tool for ourselves.

And while you are absolutely worth having this kind of grounding wellness in your life no matter what, chances are you are also someone who's giving a lot to others and wondering if spending this kind of time, energy, and money on 'you' is the right thing to do.

One of the undeniable benefits of having Radical Wellness in your life is actually what it does for the lives of those you touch. When you know how to cultivate a regular, authentic practice of self-care, or can model a type of resilience that doesn't leave you empty and exhausted, you actually serve those around you better! When you can articulate your losses as well as the strengths that came from them with wisdom and inner knowing, you demonstrate for others that the same is possible for them. In fact, when you are , you show up for everything you do with a better outlook and can bring more of your own brilliance, creativity, and gifts to the space because you know you'll be okay even if the things around you aren't.

Want to join The RW Academy? Sign up now for special pricing and VIP, Trailblazer perks! We officially go 'live' 12/31 at 8pm EST.

You are who YOU say you are. Your perceptions of you are valid and fair.Trauma screws with our perspective of ourselves ...
05/26/2026

You are who YOU say you are.
Your perceptions of you are valid and fair.

Trauma screws with our perspective of ourselves - and gaslighters and manipulators take advantage of that. When they have a national platform, it's all the more triggering.

Draw your circle close.
Fight if you are up for it 🥊 - rest if you are not. 🛏️
Allies - that applies to you, too.

Everyone is valid, heard, and welcomed at The BLC - we are healing, growing, and becoming Radically Well together and you are welcome here. 🏳️‍🌈

Visit my new website: www.betterlivingcollab.com or reply 'list' below to get added to my eblast and to keep receiving affirming and welcoming messages because I mean it - you are welcome here - you are seen here - and you are CELEBRATED here! 🧡

As a doctoral student in Mental Health Counseling, I know the value of therapy. As a DV survivor, I know the value of th...
05/25/2026

As a doctoral student in Mental Health Counseling, I know the value of therapy.
As a DV survivor, I know the value of therapy.
As a parent, I know the value of therapy.
As a human in a world that often seems so harsh, I know the value of therapy.

I also know the stigma of the work I do - and the treatment I use. But it doesn't need to be that way. Let's normalize therapy - with a little levity 🥸

Therapy Nerd merchandise is my personal design - a playful way to start the conversation about why we can all use a little therapy from time to time. Tee's, hoodies, bags, pillowcases, and hats in a variety of fun colors and styles - with more to come. Shop the store and become an advocate today. You never know who you might empower!

betterlivingcollab.com/store

Because therapy isn’t weird—pretending you don’t need it is!

We get caught up in the nuance of this a lot...Trauma Survivors: Healing after trauma isn’t about blaming yourself for w...
05/24/2026

We get caught up in the nuance of this a lot...

Trauma Survivors: Healing after trauma isn’t about blaming yourself for what you went through. Especially if you were young—it was NEVER your fault. Even if you felt powerless, your mind and body channeled their warrior spirit to help you survive. And you did. And you're here.

Now, YOU get to write your story. Being accountable in your now means you’re in charge of your healing, your growth, and how you react to triggers. Changing & healing doesn’t mean punishing yourself for the ways you survived—it means acknowledging your strength and refusing to let your past define you.

You can hold compassion for who you were, and still champion who you’re becoming. Both are true.

Ready to move forward? Let's do this.

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https://www.betterlivingcollab.com/

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