Haven Christian Counseling

06/02/2026

1 Peter 4:1 “So then, since Christ suffered in the flesh, you must arm yourselves with the same attitude he had, and be ready to suffer, too. For if you have suffered for Christ, you have finished with sin.”

1 Corinthians 2:16: "For 'Who has known the mind of the Lord that he may instruct him?' But we have the mind of Christ."

Peter is saying that we should have the same “mindset as Christ.” In other words, our attitude as Christians towards suffering should be like that of Christ’s. And Paul is saying in Corinthians that as believers we have access to the mind of Christ through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. A “mindset” is a set of attitudes or beliefs that affect how we see ourselves and the world. Peter is challenging us to align our thoughts, actions and desires with the heart of Jesus. Being willing to endure hardship with a good attitude. Our willingness to die to ourselves daily, breaks the power of sin in our lives. So what exactly is Christlike thinking? Let’s start with what type of thinking Christ did not seem to endorse. Jesus did not like: legalism, hypocrisy, self-righteousness or lack of compassion for others. Christ’s mindset was one of humility, obedience, love, faith, and an eternal perspective. Philippians 2:5-8 describes how Jesus, though fully God, humbled Himself as a servant and was obedient to the point of death. He lived with complete trust in the Father, prioritizing God’s will over worldly concerns and demonstrated boundless compassion toward others. This is a journey of daily surrender, prayer, taking our thoughts captive, and immersing ourselves in scripture. We can not do this in our own strength! Thank goodness we are empowered by the Holy Spirit.

Lord, I give my mind to you. Every thought, memory, worry and speculation. I receive the mind of Christ. May my thoughts be true, noble, right, pure, trustworthy, lovely and admirable. Enlighten my mind to be aware of the Holy Spirit’s Presence and working in my life. Let Your Word be the standard against which all thoughts are measured. Help me to see and love people the way You do. Season my thoughts with salt and keep me heavenly minded. May my trust in You be unwavering and may I have enduring love and patience. Direct my thoughts and give me a teachable and gracious spirit. Amen.

05/26/2026

Oneness with Christ

“But whoever is united with the Lord is one with him in spirit.” 1 Corinthians 6:17. Oneness with God opens the door for intimacy and understanding. It is a place of peace and contentment, a divine union where we lose our sense of separate existence. It is a living bond that not even death can break. But many people still talk about the Lord as if He is “up there” and we are “down here.” He is with us and desires closeness, communion and active participation in what He is doing. Did you know the phrase “in Christ” is used over 150 times in one form or another by Paul in the New Testament? This means we are invited to participate in His life. Because of Christ’s death and resurrection, we are brought into intimacy with God as beloved children. We are grafted into the vine. John 15:5 “I am the vine, you are the branches.” Our deepest identity is no longer defined by our brokenness, failures or performance. In Christ, we are accepted, loved, secure and hidden. Union with Christ changes healing from: “How do I fix myself?” To “How do I remain connected to the One who heals? This is such good news! Christ does not desire to heal us from afar-He wants to come close.

“Against the prevailing mindset of our day—you are what you make of yourself—union with Christ tells you that you can discover your real self only in relation to the One who made you. You are not, you cannot be, self-made. Union with Christ tells you that you can only understand who you are in communion with God and others. And that is a wildly countercultural claim.”― Rankin Wilbourne

05/23/2026

It’s not too late, come join us for this training

I highly recommend this training, it is now my favorite psychotherapy modality! Brittany is an excellent instructor!

05/19/2026

Are you grief illiterate? I was! When I first started doing psychotherapy, I couldn’t understand why all of my patients were getting better except for the ones who were grieving. Sometimes they would come in and seem to be doing worse? Ignorantly, I kept trying to help “fix” their grief. I finally decided to pray and ask God about it rather than reading more books and trying new interventions. He told me that grief is not something to help people “get over.” The best that we can do is help them “go through it” by being empathetic, present, patient and to listen when they feel like talking.

Grief is a time in a person’s life when they may feel very strong and even frightening emotions. Often they feel many emotions simultaneously, which can be confusing and disorienting. But there are also physiological responses. Many people have sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, fatigue, body aches and cognitive challenges such as trouble concentrating. I’ve learned that people can have “skin hunger” or “touch starvation.” It is a craving for comforting human touch. They often report to me that they feel lonely, judged and isolated. Others seem go on with life like nothing has happened, and little things such as comparing grief experiences can make their pain worse. Friends don’t understand why they no longer want to attend small group, or hang out with couple friends when their spouse dies. The loss is tremendous in many ways. Death can also be a traumatic experience both for the person going through the process, and for the caregivers. Trauma then compounds the grief, making it even more of a struggle to go on with life. Grief is hard work, and I believe that the notion that grief somehow has an ending is false. Feelings of grief can occur long after someone has passed away and I don’t believe you ever stop missing someone's presence in your life.

So how can we help those grieving? Romans 12:15, says “mourn with those who mourn.”Some translations use “weep.” Jesus wept at the death of his friend Lazarus, demonstrating that grief is not a lack of faith, but a human necessity, summarized in the phrase "Jesus wept" (John 11:35). Sometimes I just sit and cry with patients who have lost a loved one.

Witness and validate their sorrow.
Presence over solutions or platitudes
Release any judgement. No one’s grief should be compared to another persons, and no one is doing it incorrectly. Give them space to grieve and accept that they are doing the best they can to heal.
Pray for them and help lift any heavy loads they may be carrying due to the loss. Don’t just ask, drop of meals or assist with any needs. Check in consistently, not just a few weeks after the loss.

**If you’re the one walking through grief today, know this: Your pain matters to God. Your tears are counted. Your questions are heard. You are not alone, and the One who numbers the stars also numbers the hairs on your head and the tears on your cheeks. Even in deep sorrow, there is an opportunity to receive divine healing, comfort and grace.

05/02/2026

Jesus says in Matthew, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” In the Greek text, the word translated “poor” is ptochos, indicating profound need or poverty. Once again Jesus flips our worldly expectations. The world says blessed are those who are strong, successful and self-reliant. We also tend to think healing happens when we become stronger, cleaner, and more put together. But according to Jesus, healing begins when we stop pretending we are “ok” when we are not. It begins when we go from thinking I can do this on my own to….. God, I need You! Therefore, being poor in spirit does not imply something we should be ashamed of, but something beautiful God wants us to bring to Him. It is where we embrace our weakness, recognize our need for God, let go of pride and self-sufficiency coming to Him with open arms and surrender. Perhaps our wounds don’t repel God, but only draw Him closer? Maybe those places where we feel unworthy and want to hide, are teaching us to accept the broken versions of ourselves. We don’t have to wait until we are the healed version of ourselves that we want to be. Those wounds that still ache could be the very places God flows through us the most. God’s grace becomes tangibly visible when He uses us in our broken state. So blessed are those who feel like they are not enough, we aren’t and that is ok!
We need Him, we REALLY need Him! Those who are needy, emptied and surrendered will inherit the kingdom of heaven. This promise indicates that through our poverty and humility we will receive the benefit’s of God’s rule in this life and the life to come.

Lord, thank you for embracing us in our weakness. We confess that their our times when pride and self-reliance keep us from coming to You and acknowledging our desperate need for You. Help us to fully rely on and trust in Your sufficiency rather than our own efforts. We surrender our feelings of shame and unworthiness. Use our brokenness to bring You glory. May our lives reflect the beauty of Your Kingdom, where the weak are made strong and the humble are lifted up. Amen.

04/23/2026

I highly recommend this training, it is now my favorite psychotherapy modality! Brittany is an excellent instructor!

04/14/2026

Shame doesn’t knock politely, it attacks! We all feel ashamed of ourselves now and again, but there is a difference between short-lived feelings of shame and chronic feelings of shame. A shame “attack” isn’t just feeling bad, it is feeling that you ARE bad. Shame attacks the core of your identity. A shame “attack” can happen suddenly, be intense, overwhelming, and/or triggered by specific situations or memories. Emotional symptoms can be feeling worthless or inadequate, desiring to withdraw or hide, fear of rejection or being “found out” and hopelessness. Some of the physical symptoms people experience are tightness in the chest, a sinking feeling in their stomach, rapid heartbeat, feeling frozen, numb or disconnected. Spiritually, you may feel distant from God, believe you have disappointed Him, or that He is mad at you. At the core of chronic shame is constant self-criticism. This is often so ingrained in people that they are not even aware that they have a loud inner critic. Their inner critic is constantly berating them and telling them they are not good enough and will never be good enough. Psalm 34:5 says, “Those who look to Him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.” And in Romans 10:11 the scripture says that “Anyone who believes in Him, will never be put to shame.” Therefore, belief in Christ can liberate us from chronic shame. Shame says to hide, but God says to come close. Shame says you are unworthy, God says you are worthy. Being able to recognize a shame attack when it starts is powerful. Naming what is happening helps breaks the cycle of self-criticism and allows you to choose to believe the truth of how God sees you rather than agreeing with lies. You are fully seen and loved! Jesus took all of our shame upon himself at the cross. We overcome by agreeing with Him and receiving His grace. Run towards God today, not away!

Lord, I confess that shame has had a hold on me. I come before you seeking healing. Help me to see myself as You see me- a cherished child of Yours, deserving of love, forgiveness and a bright future. Help me to release all of these emotions that are no longer serving me. Grant me the strength to make space for Your divine grace to fill me. May Your divine love rejuvenate my spirit and fill me with hope. Instead of shame attacking me, I pray for the strength to attack shame in Jesus’ Name. I come out of any agreements I have made with shame. I choose to accept myself, despite my flaws knowing that You are daily transforming me. Thank you for Your unfailing love and mercy. Amen

04/07/2026

Tonight!

02/13/2026

“God never asks you to lose yourself to love others. Without boundaries, you don’t grow in love — you grow distant from the person He created you to be.”