Haven Christian Counseling

10/19/2026

“If we displease God, does it matter whom we please? If we please Him does it matter whom we displease?”― Leonard Ravenhill

Hebrews 11:5 says, “By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death; he could not be found, because God had taken him away. For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God." Enoch was Noah’s Great Grandfather, what a great legacy he left his descendants. I confess that I struggle with people pleasing and not wanting to disappoint people. Research shows that 48 percent of us self-identify as people pleasers. Common symptoms are: difficulty saying “no”, over-apologizing, avoiding conflict, lack of personal boundaries, low self-esteem and over-responsibility. I used to justify my behavior by thinking “I’m just trying to be kind” or “I don’t want to be a selfish person.” But, I was deceiving myself rather than admitting my sin. Clearly there are times when we have to choose between pleasing God or pleasing others. Would I rather have people upset with me or God upset with me? In Galatians 1 verse 10, Paul says, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? If I were still trying to please man, I should not be a servant of Christ.”

Why do we seek acceptance from the world and others? People pleasing is rooted in fear. It is often motivated by a fear of abandonment or fear of rejection. It can also be developed in childhood as a survival strategy. But God does not want us operating from a place of fear. He wants us to be motivated by love. It’s a hard habit to break and you may even have a racing heart, sick feeling in your stomach, or guilt when you start saying “no” and setting boundaries. You have to learn to sit with the anxiety of being misunderstood, disliked, or even retaliated against. While people pleasing may help us gain approval at times, it can also be very costly. Saul lost his kingship because he succumbed to pressure from the people and feared them more than God. So, what can we learn from Enoch’s life of pleasing God? 1. live by faith and be faithful, 2. prioritize intimacy, friendship and communion with God, 3. stand up boldly against ungodliness.

Lord, we confess that at times we have lived more for the approval of men, rather than You. Please forgive us. Your word says the fear of man is a snare, but whoever trusts in You will be kept safe. Give us hearts that desire to please You above all others. Break the chains of fear off of our hearts and minds. Thank you that we do not have to work for Your approval and love. May we be more like Enoch and walk in a faith that pleases You. Amen.

10/14/2026

10/09/2026

Join us next Friday evening for a special night
!

10/06/2026

Learned helplessness is when people adopt a mindset of passivity and powerlessness, believing their efforts or actions cannot change negative circumstances or spiritual outcomes.
Basically, it is doubt and unbelief. Learned helplessness says, “I’m powerless, nothing I do will make a difference so why bother trying.” People with this mindset live more as victims than victors. Romans 8:37 says, “We are more than conquerors through him who loves us.” I think it is easy for Christians to at times adopt this mindset and become complacent and passive. Being helpless in the sense that we are fully surrendered to God and recognizing we can do nothing in our own power or strength is biblical. But, believing we are powerless and have no agency is not. Agency is our God given capacity and responsibility to live morally, make meaningful choices, act in faith and be held accountable for our actions.

You often hear people say things like, “It’s all in God’s hands.” This statement is true and helpful if you are choosing to trust God in situations where you have taken responsibility for what belongs to you. But not so much if you are using it as an excuse to do or say nothing. Scripture rarely requires us to be totally passive. We are instructed to: Pray without ceasing(1Thessalonians 5:17), preach the word(2 Timothy 4:2), encourage one another(Hebrews 3:13), and love one another(1 Peter 1:22), to name a few commandments. And Jesus’ last instruction to His followers was to “Go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.”(Matthew 28:19-20). When David took down the giant Goliath, he was not passive. He had faith, acted courageously, and then left the rest to God. Healthy agency is both dependence and responsibility in partnering with God. Learned helplessness refuses to engage or take action, while holy agency calls us to take action.

Ask yourself, where might I have a mindset of passivity and powerlessness? Apply the 4 R’s: Recognize, Receive, Respond and Release. 1. Recognize any places where you may have learned to be powerless, 2. Receive God’s truth to replace the narrative you have learned, 3. Respond by choosing to take action by faith(You don’t have to wait until you feel confident, motivated or courageous before to act), and 4. Release the outcome to God. Faith often means moving forward even when you don’t have all the answers and are fearful. Jesus did not tell his followers to wait and just let things happen, he told them to go!

09/29/2026

“We are in such a hurry to grow up, and then we long for our lost childhood. We make ourselves ill earning money, and then spend all our money on getting well again. We think so much about the future that we neglect the present, and thus experience neither the present nor the future. We live as if we were never going to die, and die as if we had never lived.” - Paulo Coelho
Mark 10:13-16, “And they were bringing children to him, that he might touch them; and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it he was indignant, and said to them, “Let the children come to me, do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands upon them. And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.
In this passage, Jesus rebukes the disciples. They were thinking that Jesus had more important things to do than to bless children. What we prioritize in life matters, and Christ often prioritized the meek and the lowly. The disciples were focused on rank, authority, and importance. Here he is challenging their pride and self-reliance. Jesus saw the children as a priority and went on to say that unless we become like them, we can not enter the kingdom of God. Children naturally live in the present, they don’t rely on achievements, wear masks, or focus on their weaknesses. Jesus uses strong language here and says that becoming like a child is a requirement, not just a suggestion. It is important to distinguish that he says to become like children, not to act like them. Children are also quick to forgive, humble and love freely. Jesus is trying to shift their focus from status to humility, dependence and surrender. He is saying that the kingdom of God belongs to the weak, helpless, and the unimportant. He does not say it belongs to those with titles, or those who attend church regularly. Anything that makes us feel more important than others or insensitive to their needs is a stumbling block. The world often rewards those who self-promote, are aggressive or who have important jobs or titles. God’s kingdom values humility and trust over power and pride.
Lord. Thank you for calling us Your children and making us a priority. Forgive us for wrong motives and for finding significance in our accomplishments. Help us to be quick to forgive, to trust you wholeheartedly and to surrender. Teach is how to be humble and meek. May we prioritize the things you prioritize and let go of self-reliance. Help us to cultivate the characteristics of a child. To be joyful, creative, genuine, curious, open and honest. Amen

09/22/2026

Healing Prayer service cancelled tonight! See you next week.