Child & Adolescent Psychotherapy Services

09/04/2026

~~~~FEEL-GOOD FRIDAY
Celebrating progress, resilience, and the small wins that matter.

SMALL WINS AREN’T SMALL

When we think about progress, we often look for the big changes:

The child who finally sleeps independently.
The teen who no longer feels anxious.
The student who suddenly becomes confident.
The family that stops arguing.

But real emotional growth usually doesn’t happen that way.

It often looks much smaller.

Going to school even though you felt anxious.
Asking for help instead of shutting down.
Recovering from a disappointment a little faster.
Trying something you usually avoid.
Catching an unhelpful thought.
Taking a break before reacting.
Saying, “I messed up,” instead of “I’m a failure.”
Having a hard day…and trying again tomorrow.

And those moments matter.

Research in positive psychology suggests that positive emotional experiences can help broaden thinking and, over time, contribute to the development of psychological resources associated with coping and resilience.

In other words, noticing what is going right doesn’t mean ignoring what is hard.

It means helping a child begin to recognize:

I handled that.
I tried something difficult.
I’m learning.
Maybe I can handle the next hard thing too.

For parents, this can mean shifting some of our attention from:

“Did they get it right?”

to:

“What did they do today that showed growth?”

Maybe they still became anxious—but stayed.

Maybe they still got frustrated—but recovered.

Maybe they still needed help—but asked for it.

Maybe they weren’t confident—but tried anyway.

That is progress.

Growth isn’t always about having fewer hard moments.

Sometimes it’s about becoming a little more capable of moving through them.

FEEL-GOOD FRIDAY CHALLENGE

Before today ends, ask your child—or yourself:

“What’s one small thing you handled this week that you’re proud of?”

Because sometimes the smallest wins are exactly where resilience begins.

09/03/2026

💙 MENTAL HEALTH THURSDAY

When Rejection Feels BIG: Understanding RSD in Teens

Sometimes what looks like overreacting, being dramatic, shutting down, or getting defensive may actually be a teen experiencing rejection or criticism very intensely.

You may hear the term Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) used to describe this pattern, particularly in conversations about ADHD.

For a rejection-sensitive teen, something that seems small to an adult can feel enormous:

• A friend doesn’t text back → “They don’t like me anymore.”
• A teacher corrects them → “I’m stupid.”
• They aren’t invited → “Nobody wants me around.”
• A parent gives feedback → “I can never do anything right.”
• Someone seems annoyed → “They’re mad at me.”

And sometimes the emotional reaction comes before they have time to stop and think it through.

You might see tears, anger, defensiveness, withdrawal, people-pleasing, perfectionism, avoidance, or suddenly wanting to quit something they care about.

💙 What helps?

Start with the feeling before correcting the interpretation:

“That really hurt.”

“I can see why that felt embarrassing.”

“It sounds like your brain immediately went to ‘they don’t like me.’ Let’s slow it down and see what else might be possible.”

Then, once your teen is regulated, help them separate:

What actually happened?

from

What did my brain tell me it meant?

That little space is where we can begin building emotional regulation, flexible thinking, and resilience.

And an important reminder for parents:

Validation does not mean agreement.

You can validate how painful something felt without agreeing that the feared interpretation is necessarily true.

Clinical note: RSD is not a formal DSM diagnosis. The term is commonly used to describe intense emotional sensitivity to perceived rejection or criticism, particularly in discussions about ADHD. These experiences can be very real for some teens with ADHD, but they are not exclusive to ADHD and may also occur alongside anxiety and other emotional or neurodevelopmental differences.

Sometimes the teen who appears to “not care” actually cares very, very deeply. 💙

09/02/2026

RESOURCE~~

👫Head over to wgfnj.org/calendar or tap the link in our bio to sign up for today's hangout(s)!

We can't wait to see you there!
-
📞 Need to Reach Us? If you have any questions or need assistance on the day of your booking, please call or text We’ve Got Friends at 201-588-5341.

❓How Do I Sign Up?
1. Go to www.wgfnj.org/calendar and log in (or register to create an account).
2. Scroll down to the 'Group Calendar by Day' and navigate to the date(s) you wish to attend.
3. Click 'Sign Up', fill out & submit your details, and we'll see you there!

❓Do I Have to Sign Up?
All participants MUST sign up to hangout. In the event any hangout is cancelled, all registered friends will get an email notification of the change. We also collect attendance in compliance with grants and funding we receive to keep WGF free for all.

❓Do I need a Chaperone?
WGF is NOT a drop-off program. In-person events REQUIRE a parent/caregiver to
attend with their participant(s). This is a great time for the parents to hang out too!

🧼 Health Advisory
COVID cases may increase as we transition into fall. Please wear masks and/or stay home if you're sick!

09/01/2026

***TRY IT TUESDAY: ASK or PROMPT?
Here’s one small parenting shift to try this week:

You’ve made the checklists.
You’ve practiced the routines.
You’ve reminded them 100 times.

Before giving another reminder, ask yourself: Can my child’s brain do this work right now?

For kids with ADHD and executive-functioning challenges, knowing what to do and being able to remember, initiate, and do it in the moment are not always the same thing.

**ASK when they are calm, have enough time, and likely know the routine.

Instead of:

❌ “Brush your teeth.”
Try: “What’s next before we leave?”

❌ “Get your backpack.”
Try: “What do you still need before we go?”

Asking gives their brain a chance to pause, remember, plan, and initiate.

PROMPT when their brain needs more support.

********If they’re overwhelmed, dysregulated, exhausted, stuck, or you’re running late, don’t turn it into a quiz.

Keep it short and concrete:

“Teeth first.”
“Shoes, then backpack.”
“Grab your backpack. I’ll help you get started.”

Too many questions when a child is already struggling can become another executive-functioning demand.

The goal isn’t to stop helping.

It’s to provide just enough support for the brain they have available in that moment.

***ASK when their brain can do the work.
PROMPT when their brain needs some help.

Over time, we want to gradually shift more of the thinking, remembering, and initiating from our brain to theirs.

08/28/2026

Resource~~~

September socoal club sign up form is opened!!!

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSeNI55Fpv0rPllynWb6zS2LQK9ffCPt2anqudymP1fA9M_9CA/viewform?usp=dialog

08/28/2026

Parents~~This poster is designed to give children simple, calming thoughts they can access during stressful or overwhelming school moments. When anxiety, frustration, or avoidance increases, it can be difficult for a child to think flexibly or remember coping strategies.
The statements encourage children to:
~Practice helpful mindset shifts that support resilience and self-regulation.
~Recognize that they can feel nervous or uncomfortable and still move forward.
~Focus on one manageable step at a time rather than the entire school day.
~Remember past successes and their ability to handle difficult situations.
~Ask for help when needed and recognize that doing their best is enough.
~Intentionally notice one small positive part of the day.
****Sometimes children need helpful words nearby that remind them they can keep going, even when the day feels difficult.
*****Print this out for them and put it somewhere they can see it—a bedroom, backpack, homework space, or even the car. 💛

08/28/2026

WHEN YOUR ADHD CHILD IS LOSING IT…

Here’s something important for parents to remember:

The goal is NOT to feel calm.
The goal is to stay grounded enough that you don’t join the dysregulation.

Because when your child is yelling, arguing, melting down, or completely overwhelmed, your nervous system may be screaming too.

You can feel frustrated.
You can feel angry.
You can feel exhausted.

You just don’t want to join the chaos.

Try this instead:

- Talk less.
-Lower your voice.
-Slow yourself down.
-Unclench your jaw and drop your shoulders.
-Take a brief pause if everyone is safe.
-Use YOUR grounding tools too.

And remind yourself:

💭 “I don’t have to fix this right now.”
💭 “I can be frustrated without reacting.”
💭 “My job is to bring the temperature down, not win the argument.”

**** REGULATION FIRST. CORRECTION LATER.

You don’t have to be a perfectly calm parent.

You just need to stay grounded enough that there aren’t two dysregulated nervous systems in the room.

08/25/2026

TRY IT TUESDAY: A BACK-TO-SCHOOL BODY SAFETY REFRESHER

One small, practical thing parents can try this week to support their child's emotional, social, and developmental well-being.

As school starts and our kids get ready to head back to classrooms, buses, sports, and activities, try taking a few minutes this week for a body-safety refresher.

Younger children may be riding the bus or spending time with older students—or with same-age peers who have been exposed to more mature language, content, or behaviors.

This can be an especially important conversation for our neurodivergent kids, who may benefit from body-safety rules being taught explicitly, concretely, and repeatedly rather than assuming they will understand an unspoken social boundary.

The goal isn't to scare children or make them responsible for keeping themselves safe. Safety is always an adult responsibility. We are simply giving children language and skills that can help them recognize when something isn't okay, move away, and tell a trusted adult.

💙 TRY IT THIS WEEK:

Pick a calm, ordinary moment—not a serious sit-down "talk"—and review a few simple messages:

~Your body belongs to you.
~The parts covered by a bathing suit are private.
~You should not be asked to look at or touch another person's private parts.
~Body-safety rules apply to everyone—friends, classmates, older kids, teenagers, relatives, and adults.
~If someone shows you a sexual or inappropriate picture or video, asks you to show or send a private picture, or asks you to look at their private parts, tell a trusted adult.
~You can say "No," "Stop," or "I'm not comfortable," move away, change seats, and get an adult.
~We don't keep secrets about bodies, touching, pictures, or things that make us uncomfortable.
~If someone says, "Don't tell your mom," "Don't tell the bus driver," or "You'll get in trouble if you tell," that's an especially important time to tell.
~You will never be in trouble for telling.

And one message children especially need to hear:

If you froze, didn't say no, went along with something, or didn't tell right away, you can still tell us.

~~~ FOR KIDS WHO NEED THINGS MORE CONCRETE:

Don't just explain the rules—practice them.

Try asking:

"What could you do if an older kid asks you to look at something inappropriate on their phone?"

"What if another kid asks you to keep a secret about something that happened on the bus?"

"What could you do if someone makes you uncomfortable but you're afraid they'll get mad if you tell?"

"Who are three adults you could tell?"

You can even practice the words:

"Stop."
"I'm not doing that."
"I'm moving seats."
"I'm telling an adult."

And remember, parents: body safety isn't one scary "big talk." It's an ongoing, developmentally appropriate conversation woven into everyday life.

The message we want our children to carry with them is simple:

**** “My body belongs to me. I can say no. I can move away. I don't have to keep unsafe secrets. I can always tell a trusted adult—and I will not be in trouble for telling.”

08/24/2026

Monday Parenting Perspective~~Understanding children’s behavior through neuroscience, development, and evidence-based parenting.

When Anxiety Is Running the Show: A SPACE Perspective

When a child is anxious, our natural parenting instinct is often to make the anxiety go away.

We reassure.
We answer the same question again.
We stay nearby.
We speak for them.
We change plans.
We help them avoid the thing that feels scary.

And in the moment, it often works. Their distress comes down.

But sometimes, without realizing it, we can begin accommodating anxiety in ways that actually help it grow.

This is one of the central ideas behind SPACE (Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions), an evidence-based, parent-based treatment for children and adolescents with anxiety and OCD.

SPACE teaches parents to communicate two important messages at the same time:

“I understand that this is really hard for you.”

AND

“I believe you can handle feeling uncomfortable.”

That combination matters.

Supporting a child does not mean eliminating every uncomfortable feeling. Children build confidence when they gradually discover:

“I was anxious... and I handled it.”

Instead of:

“Don’t worry. I promise nothing bad will happen.”

Try:

“I can see that you’re worried. I know this feels hard, and I believe you can handle it.”

A helpful question for parents to consider is:

Am I helping my child cope with anxiety—or helping my child avoid anxiety?

The goal isn't to become less loving, reassuring, or responsive. It's to gradually shift from rescuing to supporting.

Because one of the most powerful messages we can give an anxious child is:

“I see how hard this feels—and I have confidence in your ability to handle hard things.”

08/20/2026

THURSDAY~~~Beyond the Behavior: Back to School Is a BIG Transition

The backpacks are ready. The school supplies are bought. Schedules are changing. And suddenly, summer is coming to an end.

For some kids, going back to school is exciting.

For others, it brings a lot of big feelings.

And for many children and teens, it’s actually both.

As the first day gets closer, parents may notice:
~More worrying or “what if” questions
~Increased irritability or arguing
~Bigger emotional reactions
~Headaches or stomachaches
~Difficulty falling asleep
~Increased clinginess or reassurance seeking
~Worries about teachers, schedules, lockers, buses, lunch or homework
~Friendship worries or fear of being left out
~Fear about keeping up academically
~Perfectionism or fear of making mistakes
~“I don’t want to go to school.”

It can be easy to look at these behaviors and think:

“Why is everything suddenly becoming such a big deal?”

But remember:

Transitions require a lot from a developing brain.
Going back to school means adjusting to new routines, expectations, people, environments and demands—all at once.
For children with anxiety, ADHD, autism, learning differences, sensory sensitivities, or difficulty with flexibility, that transition may require even more emotional and cognitive energy.

So before assuming a child is being difficult, defiant, or dramatic, pause and get curious.

What might be underneath the behavior?
“What if I don’t know anyone in my class?”
“What if my teacher doesn’t like me?”
“What if the work is too hard?”
“What if I can’t find my classroom?”
“Who will I sit with at lunch?”
“What if everyone else has friends and I don’t?”
“What if I mess up?”

A child may never actually say those words.

Instead, you may see them in the behavior.

What can parents do?

**Start shifting routines gradually rather than waiting until the night before school.

**Talk through what your child can expect.
**Practice the morning routine.
**Visit the school or review the schedule if that would be helpful.
**Give anxious children information and support, while being careful not to get caught in an endless cycle of reassurance.
**Most importantly, make room for mixed feelings.

Instead of:

“There’s nothing to worry about.”

Try:

“It makes sense that you’re feeling nervous. New things can feel uncomfortable. We’ll figure it out.”

Our goal isn’t to eliminate every uncomfortable feeling before children walk through the school doors.

~It is to help them learn:
~I can feel nervous AND still go.
~I can be unsure AND handle it.
~I can have a hard moment AND recover.
~I don’t have to know exactly how everything will go to know that I can cope.

That is how confidence grows.

Not from never feeling anxious—but from discovering:

“I can do hard things, even when my worry comes along.”

As we head back to school, remember to look Beyond the Behavior
Sometimes the child giving you the hardest time about going back to school is the child who needs the most help believing:

“Whatever happens, I can handle it.”

Suzanne Donohue, LCSW
Child & Adolescent Psychotherapy Services (CAPS)