05/19/2026
A Different Gear
Hello Readers,
I am shifting to a different focus in these writings. To recap, I wrote 3 posts about a young woman in a new committed relationship.
An illness just before Thanksgiving has given me time to reflect on some other ideas for posts going forward. Sometimes, I have found it very difficult to relax and take time for myself as I am a very productive person with many interests and ongoing projects. Making time to truly relax is one of the kindest things we can do for ourselves.
Even though my Substack posts were lined up and almost ready to go, I hung back and practiced mindfulness to really check in with myself and see what my body needed. It was a very difficult thing to do – to put aside my “let’s get things done” hat and give myself time and space to not be hyper-productive. It was difficult for the first 2 weeks, but after that it got a bit easier, and I was able to rest more fully. It was not as if I stopped doing all work, I just consciously moved to a different gear and noted to myself the voice which I have internalized, which kept up this chant of “do more, there’s time to squeeze in one more chore.” Yes, it is easier to practice this if one does not have little people depending on you to be fed and cared for. It was still difficult for me.
I am writing this short note to my readers – try to find moments to be kind to yourself, even if they are only a few each week. Our hyper-productive culture often does not allow room to rest until we are physically ill. Let us consciously challenge this belief; we may all find more moments of kind self-reflection. It is one of the cornerstones of well-being and even good parenting.
I am inviting my readers to send me questions, comments, and situations they would like me to write about. This can evolve into an “agony aunt” column. Send your comments in, and it will be forwarded to me without your names and identifying material removed.
By: Kalpana Asok
M.S., M.A., Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist
20688, Fourth St., #7, Saratoga, CA 95070
www.calmtherapy.com
408-647-5599
moc.liamg@kosanaplak