https://www.therapyden.com/therapist/alexis-nelson-sandy-ut

Alexis Nelson- MFT, Murray, UT (2026)

10/09/2026

✨️Attachment: the relationships that teach us what to expect from love.✨️

Attachment is the emotional bond we develop with the people who matter most to us. Through our early relationships, and later relationships, we learn things like:

• Can I trust others to be there for me?
• Is it safe to ask for what I need?
• Will people stay when I am struggling?
• Do I matter to the people I love?
• What happens when there is conflict or disconnection?

When those experiences are painful, inconsistent, or unpredictable, we can develop attachment wounds.

An attachment wound doesn't mean something is "wrong" with you. It means that somewhere along the way, your nervous system learned to protect you.

🤔Maybe you learned to pursue connection when you feel someone pulling away. Maybe you learned to shut down because needing someone felt unsafe.
Maybe you became hyper-independent because relying on others led to disappointment. Maybe conflict feels like abandonment, rejection feels overwhelming, or vulnerability feels terrifying.

And sometimes these patterns show up most strongly in our closest relationships, not because we don't love those people, but because closeness can activate the places where we've been hurt.🤍

The good news? Attachment patterns aren't a life sentence.

With awareness, safe relationships, and intentional work, we can begin to recognize the old protective patterns and develop new ways of responding.

Healing doesn't mean never feeling triggered. It means learning that the present is not always the past and that you can build relationships where your needs, emotions, boundaries, and vulnerability have a place.

Your attachment patterns are not a flaw. They are information. And they can be understood, explored, and changed. 😊

-Infographics are not mine.

09/01/2026

Love languages: What makes you feel loved?

You may have heard of the five “love languages”:
💬 Words of Affirmation
🕰️ Quality Time
🎁 Receiving Gifts
🤝 Acts of Service
💗 Physical Touch

The idea is simple: people often differ in how they most naturally express love and how they most readily experience love from others.
But there’s an important piece that can get overlooked:

Knowing your partner’s love language doesn’t mean you should only love them in the way they prefer. Healthy relationships involve curiosity, flexibility, and a willingness to step outside of our own comfort zones.

For example:
➡️ You might show love by doing things for your partner, while they feel most connected through quality time.
➡️ You might assume that saying “I love you” is enough, while your partner experiences love more strongly through physical affection.
➡️ Your partner may give you gifts because that’s how they naturally express care, even though gifts aren’t particularly meaningful to you.
This is where communication matters.
Try asking:
💭 “What makes you feel most appreciated by me?”
💭 “When do you feel closest to me?”
💭 “Is there something I do that makes you feel especially loved?”
💭 “Is there anything you wish I did more often?”

And remember: love languages aren't a diagnostic tool or a scientifically established personality test. They can simply be a useful framework for starting conversations about how we give and receive affection.

You might even find that multiple things make you feel loved! For example, I am "bilingual" with physical touch and acts of service scoring equally at the top of my list.
Here is a link to a free quiz to find out your love language:
https://psychology.com/tests/love-language

Enjoy this cute picture of my husband and me from our wedding formals. It looks sentimental, but he was actually mumbling, “We need to hurry up under here—it’s hot, and I’m starting to sweat.” 🤣❤️

08/20/2026

Being close to your family isn't inherently unhealthy. In fact, strong family connection, shared responsibilities, & even multiple generations living together can be meaningful & supportive! 🏡

The question isn't necessarily “How close are we?” but rather “Can we remain connected while still maintaining appropriate autonomy?" Because of this, I want to talk about 2 very common family patterns (often seen together, though can occur separately): enmeshment & triangulation.

In family systems, enmeshment can occur when boundaries between family members become blurred. You may feel responsible for another person's emotions, struggle to make decisions without considering how they will react or feel, feel guilty when you prioritize yourself, or experience another person's independence as rejection.

Triangulation happens when tension between two people is managed through a third person. For example, instead of addressing a conflict directly, one family member repeatedly brings another person into the disagreement, asks them to take sides, or uses them as a messenger &/or mediator.

These patterns can happen in families that love each other deeply. They also don't automatically mean that anyone is “toxic” or that a relationship needs to be cut off. Sometimes these patterns even happen without intention. These patterns may develop in attempt to protect someone, maintain connection, manage conflict, or help a family cope with difficult circumstances. However, there are healthier alternatives to triangulation & enmeshment.

Family systems work isn't about creating distance without purpose. It's about differentiation: learning that you can love your family, care about their feelings, & remain connected to them while still having your own identity, choices, boundaries, & relationships.
A helpful question to reflect on might be:
“Can I be connected to my family without feeling responsible for managing their emotions?”
Healthy families aren't perfect, but they are able to recognize patterns, become curious about them, make room for improvement & the needs of each other.🌄

✨Educational content only. Family dynamics are complex & context matters. Infographics aren’t mine.✨️

07/01/2026

I'm a little late on this, but during June we celebrated Father's Day and it was Men's Mental Health Awareness Month! ☀️

Many men grow up receiving messages to "be tough," "push through," or "keep it to yourself." While resilience is valuable, constantly suppressing emotions can come at a cost. Strength isn't the absence of struggle, it's having the courage to acknowledge it.

Two things can be true at the same time; you can be a devoted father, partner, friend, or provider while also feeling overwhelmed, anxious, exhausted, or lost.

Life brings responsibilities, expectations, and pressures that can feel heavy. Work stress, financial concerns, relationship challenges, fatherhood, grief, or major life transitions can all impact mental health.

It's important to continue normalizing conversations around men's emotional well-being. Too many men suffer in silence because they fear being judged or becoming a burden.

Here are a few gentle reminders:

• Talking is a strength – Opening up to someone you trust takes courage, not weakness.
• You don't have to solve everything alone – Leaning on others is part of being human.
• Take care of yourself too – Rest, movement, hobbies, and meaningful connection all matter.
• Check in with the men in your life – Sometimes a simple "How are you really doing?" can make a difference.
• Seek support when you need it – Therapy is a space to be heard without judgment and to build tools for navigating life's challenges.

You don't have to earn rest. You don't have to hide your emotions to be respected. You don't have to pretend you're okay when you're not. Taking care of your mental health isn't a sign of weakness, it's an investment in yourself and in the people you love.

In June, we honored:
Fathers supporting their partners postpartum. Fathers carrying invisible mental loads. Grieving fathers and fathers navigating infertility and pregnancy loss with their partner. Adoptive, foster, and stepfathers. Fathers healing from difficult experiences. Fathers doing their best, wondering if it's enough. Those longing to become fathers. All fathers! 💙
*Infographics are not mine, only the picture of my cute husband and son* 😂😊

05/17/2026

Emotional flooding happens when the nervous system becomes overwhelmed and shifts into survival mode.
When this happens, the brain becomes less focused on problem-solving and more focused on protection.
Flooding can look like:
• feeling suddenly overwhelmed during conflict
• racing thoughts or inability to think clearly
• shutting down or going silent
• crying, yelling, or becoming reactive
• feeling physically hot, shaky, tense, or panicked
• wanting to escape the conversation immediately
• hearing your partner as “attacking” even if they are not
During flooding, communication often becomes less productive because the nervous system is prioritizing safety over connection.

What helps?
🌿 Taking a regulated pause instead of forcing the conversation
🌿 Slowing down breathing and grounding in the body
🌿 Avoiding criticism, contempt, or escalating language
🌿 Returning to the conversation once both people are calmer
🌿 Learning to recognize your early warning signs before overwhelm peaks
A break from communication is healthiest when it is:
✔ communicated respectfully
✔ temporary
✔ followed by re-engagement later
Examples:
- “I want to continue this conversation, but I’m too overwhelmed right now.”
- “I need 20 minutes to regulate so I can respond instead of react.”
- “I care about this conversation and want to come back to it calmly.”
Emotional regulation is not about never becoming flooded.
It is about learning how to notice it, respond to it skillfully, and repair afterward.
Emotional flooding typically involves language in reference to romantic relationships, but it can be applied to all relationships! 😊

05/17/2026

Emotional regulation is not about never feeling upset.
It’s about learning how to experience emotions without handing responsibility for them to everyone around you.

Other people can influence our emotions. They can hurt us, disappoint us, support us, or trigger old wounds. But emotional maturity means recognizing:
✨ Your emotions are valid.
✨ Your reactions are still your responsibility.
Emotional independence is the ability to:
• self-soothe during distress
• pause before reacting
• communicate needs directly
• tolerate discomfort without blaming or controlling others
• separate feelings from facts
• recognize triggers without making others responsible for fixing them
• hold boundaries without absorbing everyone else’s emotions
One of the healthiest things we can learn is that empathy does not require emotional absorption.
You can care deeply about others without carrying their anxiety, anger, or chaos as your own.

Some ways to build emotional accountability and avoid absorbing negative emotion:
🧠 Notice what emotion actually belongs to you
🌿 Take space before responding when overwhelmed to handle emotional flooding (see next post)
🗣️ Use “I feel…” instead of accusations and blame
📓 Journal or process internally rather than frequently seeking reassurance
💛 Practice grounding techniques and nervous system regulation
🚪 Set boundaries with emotionally draining dynamics
🪞Ask yourself: “What part of this is mine to own?”

Healing often looks less like controlling others and more like learning to regulate yourself with compassion, awareness, and accountability. 🤍

05/11/2026

Becoming a parent is one of the most meaningful transitions a person can experience and one of the most challenging.
Two things can be true at the same time; you can feel deep gratitude & love for your baby and overwhelmed by how much your life has changed.
Parenthood often brings joy, love, and purpose… but also exhaustion, identity shifts, relationship changes, and moments of doubt. These experiences don’t cancel each other out, they coexist. Acknowledging the hard parts doesn’t make you ungrateful; it makes you honest.
As we recognize Mother's Day and Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month, it’s especially important to normalize the emotional complexity of this transition. Many mothers struggle silently, believing they should feel happy all the time, but real life isn’t that simple and you’re not alone if it doesn’t feel that way.
Here are a few gentle reminders for navigating this transition:
• Lower the bar – You don’t have to do everything perfectly. Focus on what feels doable for you in this season of life.
• Ask for help – Support is not a luxury, it’s a need.
• Protect small moments of self – Even brief breaks can help you reconnect with yourself.
• Communicate with your partner – This is a shared adjustment and communication can help clarify things and adjust to new roles.
• Check in with your mental health – If you’re struggling, reaching out is a strong and important step.
You are allowed to grieve your old life while embracing your new one. You are allowed to feel both joy and difficulty in the same day, even the same moment.
Parenthood isn’t about getting it perfect, it’s about learning, adjusting, and showing up the best you while having compassion for yourself along the way.
If this season feels heavy, you don’t have to carry it alone. 🌻
We are honoring:
• Mothers in the thick of postpartum. Mothers carrying invisible mental loads. Grieving mothers and mothers navigating infertility or pregnancy loss. Adoptive, foster, and stepmothers. Mothers healing from difficult birth or pregnancy experiences. Working mothers and stay-at-home mothers. Mothers doing their best, wondering if it is enough. Those longing to become mothers. All mothers! 🤍

04/17/2026

Grief has been a reoccurring topic in sessions recently, so let's talk about it! Some pictures of my sweet doggie who I lost unexpectedly due to health issues when she was just 6 years old. 🤍

Grief isn’t just something we experience after death. We can also grieve people who are still alive but no longer part of our lives. We grieve relationships that changed, futures we imagined, versions of ourselves we had to let go of.

Sometimes, grief even begins before something ends.When you sense a relationship slipping, when change feels inevitable, when you know something is coming to a close, you may find yourself already mourning. This is called anticipatory grief, and it’s more common than people realize.

Grief doesn’t follow a straight line. You’ve probably heard of the stages (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance) but they aren’t steps you neatly move through. They ebb and flow. You might feel acceptance one day and anger the next. You might revisit the same feeling over and over again.

There is no “right” way to grieve. No timeline. No perfect process. Grief is simply the natural response to loss of a person, pet, a relationship, stage of your life, or a version of yourself, etc.

If you’re grieving something or someone who is no longer in your life, your experience is valid. Even if no one else can see your loss, it still matters. Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means learning how to carry what’s been lost, while still making space for what remains and what is to come. 🌹

Alexis Nelson- MFT

10/09/2026

09/01/2026

08/20/2026

07/01/2026

05/17/2026

05/17/2026

05/11/2026

04/17/2026

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