Lila Wallace, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

08/19/2026

07/25/2026

"Social media is crowded with newly minted authorities who have learned the language of transformation before they have undergone much transformation themselves. They attend a seminar, find a high-profile mentor, adopt the vocabulary, experience the temporary high of certainty, and begin speaking as though they have cracked the universal code for human flourishing."

Article link in the comments. 👇

07/14/2026

05/24/2026

In 1969, a psychologist named Martin Seligman put dogs in a harness.
He divided them into three groups. One group received mild electric shocks they could stop by pressing a panel. A second group received shocks they had no control over — the shocks came and went regardless of anything they did. A third group received no shocks.
Then he moved all three groups into a box divided by a low barrier. Shocks came through the floor on one side. All the dogs had to do to escape them was jump over the barrier.
The dogs from the first and third groups figured it out immediately. They jumped.
The dogs from the second group — the ones who had previously been unable to control the shocks — mostly didn't even try. They lay down on the electrified floor and waited.
They had learned that their actions didn't matter. And when they were put in a situation where their actions would have mattered, they didn't know it.
Seligman called this learned helplessness — and within a few years he and his colleagues had found the same pattern in humans.
People who experience repeated situations in which their actions produce no results — in abusive relationships, in institutions without autonomy, in jobs where initiative is consistently punished — develop a generalized expectation of uncontrollability. They stop trying not just in the original situation, but in new ones. Even when escape is possible. Even when the barrier is low.
The behavior looks like passivity. Like lack of motivation. Like not caring.
It isn't.
It is an accurate summary of a lesson learned in a different room — a lesson the brain is still applying, long after the room has changed.
If someone in your life has stopped trying, it is worth asking what they learned the last time they did.
The floor is different now.
They just don't know that yet.

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04/30/2026

*being social digitally 😉 image: avamariedoodles 🧠

04/29/2026

Many children are not reacting to what is happening now - they are reacting to what has happened before. Trauma changes how a child’s brain and body respond to stress. Their nervous system stays on high alert, scanning for danger, even when they are safe. This is why small situations can lead to big reactions. What looks like anger, avoidance, shutdown or people-pleasing is often a trauma response - fight, flight, freeze or fawn. These are not choices. They are automatic survival patterns shaped by past experiences such as neglect, abuse, loss or ongoing instability.

When adults see behaviour without understanding trauma, children can be labelled as challenging or attention-seeking. In reality, many are trying to cope with fear, shame, overwhelm or a deep need to feel safe. Real support starts when adults respond with calm, consistency and connection, not punishment. Feeling safe in relationships is what helps the brain settle and allows children to learn, trust and regulate again.

Free CHILDREN’S TRAUMA RESPONSES WHEEL – FIGHT, FLIGHT, FREEZE, FAWN BEHAVIOUR POSTER

LIKE the photo and comment "TRAUMA" and we will send you a message with a link to a free PDF of this resource.