Thirty Three Therapy and Coaching

07/20/2026

Can I ask you something?

If you could throw away one lie you've believed about yourself, what would it be?
Take a second before you answer.
Because the first thing that comes to mind might be the very thing that's been quietly shaping your life.
For years, I thought my greatest obstacle was what had happened to me.
Then I started writing Throwing Stones, and I found the real obstacle underneath it. The lie I built my life around because of what happened.
"I'm too much."
"I'm not enough."
"I have to earn love."
"If I can just make everyone else happy, maybe I'll finally be chosen."
Those were my stones.
Writing this book has been the work of digging them up, one by one, and replacing them with truth.
That's why I created the Throwing Stones Founding Circle. An invitation into the whole journey, before the book is even released.
Inside, I'm sharing the stories behind the writing. The reflections, the excerpts, the moments that don't make it onto social media.
If you've ever sensed there's more to your story than survival, I'd love to have you there.

Comment STONE and I will send you the link to join

Now I'm genuinely curious.
What's one lie you've had to fight to stop believing about yourself?

07/12/2026

I had a quiet ledger. It kept track of all of the things I "did right." If I listened, if I apologized, if I owned my mistakes, if I stayed available, surely that should produce understanding. Surely that should produce reconciliation. That's where attachment quietly enters the room. Not attachment to a person. Attachment to an outcome.
And outcomes make terrible gods.

My daughter once sat on my couch at eighteen years old and told me she had abandonment wounds from my divorce. ( We've talked about this publicly on the podcast if you want the full conversation. ) My throat caught. My stomach dropped. Everything in me hurt because of her pain. But the part of me

07/10/2026

Hi, I'm Shelli.
I'm a licensed marriage and family therapist, coach, writer, and follower of Jesus with one passion:
Helping people uncover the lies that shaped them so they can reclaim the life God intended for them.
I believe healing is more than talking about the past. It's learning how the past still influences the present—and choosing a different future.
My work blends psychology, attachment, neuroscience, trauma recovery, and biblical truth to help people move beyond survival into transformation.
Because your story may explain you...
But it does not have to define you.
Around here you'll find conversations about emotional healing, healthy relationships, boundaries, narcissistic abuse recovery, identity, faith, and personal responsibility—with equal measures of grace and truth.
My greatest hope is that every post, every conversation, and every resource helps you stop living from old wounds and start living from the person God created you to become.
📖 Coming Soon: Throwing Stones: Unearthing the Lies That Shaped Your Life
Welcome. I'm so glad you're here.

Throwing Stones:Unearthing the Lies That Shaped Your Life She doesn’t always know why she loves the way she loves.Why she shrinks when she should speak.Why she keeps choosing the same kind of hurt… just in a different face.She only knows something is running underneath her life…something she c...

06/25/2026

https://www.shellinorvell.com/shellisays/outcomes-make-terrible-gods

Outcomes make terrible gods.

Somewhere inside me lived a quiet ledger.

A list of things I believed should happen if I loved well enough.

I didn't realize I wasn't just keeping score...
I was worshipping outcomes.

If you've ever waited for the apology, the acknowledgment, the reconciliation, or the ending you believed you deserved, I wrote this for you.

I'd love for you to join me on Substack at...
https://substack.com/

06/19/2026

If you’d like to hear more about how our attachment to outcomes prolong our suffering… stay tuned. And you can also
Read more about it on my subastack at https://open.substack.com/pub/dearbeauty033/p/outcomes-make-terrible-gods?r=b9n82&utm_medium=ios

06/19/2026

So many women need to see this and watch all the way through. You have been gaslit and gaslit yourselves long enough. This is more common than most people think? John Delony is a genius here.

06/18/2026

Outcomes make terrible gods.
https://open.substack.com/pub/dearbeauty033/p/love-is-not-a-vending-machine?r=b9n82&utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

06/18/2026

Love is not a vending machine.
Love says, “I give because I love.”
Manipulation says, “I give so that you will.”

That realization was uncomfortable, because I have spent most of my life thinking of myself as the one being manipulated, not as someone capable of trying to manipulate outcomes.

But that is exactly what my quiet ledger was keeping track of. If I listened, if I apologized, if I owned my mistakes, if I stayed available, surely that should produce understanding. Surely that should produce reconciliation. That’s where attachment quietly enters the room. Not attachment to a person. Attachment to an outcome.

And the moment my peace depends on another person’s response, I have handed them authority over my freedom.

Read the rest here....

But I treated it like one

06/15/2026

We may no longer be tracking their wrongs, but are we still tracking our “rights?” This may be a good read for you. follow the link for the rest of the story... https://open.substack.com/pub/dearbeauty033/p/love-is-not-a-vending-machine?r=b9n82&utm_campaign=post-expanded-share&utm_medium=web

06/11/2026

There is always the version of the story that gets told in public. And there is always the version that actually happened. Those two things are almost never the same

https://substack.com//note/c-274425531?utm_source=notes-share-action&r=b9n82