Spa La Vie LLC

08/17/2026

🚨 AN IMPORTANT SPA LA VIE ANNOUNCEMENT 🚨

Due to financial reasons, we regret to inform everyone that Spa La Vie will now have to start posting adult content.

I know. 😔
These are difficult times.
Please respect our privacy as we navigate this new career path.

Upcoming adult topics include:

🔥 How did I pull a back muscle… SNEEZING?

🔥 Why does sleeping wrong now require a 3–5 business day recovery period?

🔥 Is this a hangover… or did I just stay up past 9:30?

🔥 Why did I make that noise when I stood up?

🔥 How many times can I walk into the same room and forget why I’m there?

🔥 Do I need medical attention, or have I just not had enough water today?

🔥 Why is my neck sore?
Investigation reveals I looked slightly to the left yesterday.

🔥 Things I used to get excited about: going out.
Things I get excited about now: somebody canceling plans.

And for our most mature audiences…

🔥 Lower back stretches that actually work. 😏

Please remember, this content is intended for ADULTS ONLY.

Mostly because nobody under 30 is going to understand how you can injure yourself by sneezing.

Thank you for continuing to support Spa La Vie during this difficult transition.

Thoughts and prayers appreciated.

Ibuprofen also accepted. 😂💆‍♀️

08/16/2026

Things your massage therapist REALLY wants you to know… 😂💆‍♀️

Relax the arm. Keep the leg hair. Snore if you need to. And if your stomach growls, we’ll pretend it never happened. 🤣

After 22 years, I promise—I’ve seen and heard it all. 😂

💚 Spa La Vie, LLC
💆‍♀️ One-hour massages • $50
📱 337-789-7078

08/16/2026

💆‍♀️ THINGS YOUR MASSAGE THERAPIST WANTS YOU TO KNOW… but is trying to remain professional about 😂

1. If I pick up your arm… LET ME HAVE THE ARM.
You do not need to help. 😂
I promise I have successfully operated arms before.
2. You do NOT have to apologize for your legs.
Shaved. Unshaved. Half-shaved because you got distracted.
I. Do. Not. Care.
3. If your stomach growls during your massage, we’re both going to pretend we didn’t hear it.
If mine growls back, apparently they’re communicating. 🤷‍♀️
4. You don’t have to talk.
You can tell me your entire life story…
or you can lay there silently and temporarily leave this dimension.
Both are acceptable.
5. If you fall asleep and snore, congratulations.
That is basically a five-star review. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
6. And YES…
when I tell you to relax your arm and you say,
“It IS relaxed!”
while holding it stiff as a 2x4…

No.
No, ma’am.
It is not. 😂😂😂

After 22 years of massage therapy, I can confidently say:

Humans are weird. Bodies are weird. Massage is weird. And I absolutely love my job. 😂💆‍♀️

Now I need to know…

👇 What is something you’ve always wondered during a massage but were too embarrassed to ask?

I promise—I’ve probably heard worse. 😂

Spa La Vie, LLC
One-hour massages • $50
📱 Call/text to book: 337-789-7078

08/16/2026

08/13/2026

Y’all… Spa La Vie’s front room finally looks like we have our lives together. 😂🙌

If you’ve been following along with the Great Spa La Vie Renovation of 2026, you know this was NOT one of those cute little HGTV situations where somebody says, “We’ll just freshen it up a little.”

No.

We ripped up floors. We painted. We sanded. We discovered substances on furniture that I’m pretty sure should’ve been investigated by a federal agency. We moved things 47 times. Denny and Ashley’s husband got recruited into unpaid construction labor. And at some point I was standing on furniture trying to reach the ceiling despite owning an actual ladder. 🤦‍♀️😂

BUT LOOK AT HER NOW. 😍

This is our newly revamped front room—the place where we check you in, cash you out, and pretend the rest of the building isn’t being held together by massage lotion and determination. 😂

We’ve got a little coffee bar with snacks, because apparently getting a massage is exhausting work and y’all may need provisions.

We’ve got a seating area if you’re waiting for your appointment… or waiting on whoever you came with to finish theirs.

And most importantly, it finally feels like Spa La Vie again. ❤️

It’s comfortable. It’s welcoming. It’s simple. And after all the sanding, painting, flooring, cleaning, rearranging, questionable decisions and occasional OSHA violations…

I absolutely love it.

Now please come get massages so I can stop renovating things.

Because every time I stand still too long, I look around this building and think:

“You know what would look good over there…”

And Denny cannot emotionally or financially handle another one of my ideas. 😂🤦‍♀️

Spa La Vie, LLC
Come in. Get comfortable. Have a snack. Get a massage.

And please don’t point out anything that needs remodeling. 😂

08/12/2026

Apparently “ALEXA OFF” only works if Alexa still identifies as Alexa. 🤦‍♀️😂

After approximately 20 attempts, increasing levels of aggression, and me basically screaming at a hockey puck… I discovered Ashley’s little name change apparently changed MINE too.

Meanwhile the other Dots are playing Disney and Journey like Spa La Vie has turned into a very confused karaoke bar. 🎶💆‍♀️

Massage school taught me anatomy.

It did NOT teach me how to negotiate with smart-home technology after my last client of the day. 😂

At this point, just enjoy the massage and whatever music the robots choose.

📱 Text 337-789-7078 to book
LA-3688

08/12/2026

So, as many of y’all know, we use Amazon Dots for music in the massage rooms at Spa La Vie.

And EVERYBODY knows her name.

Which is actually part of the problem.

Because one of us will say, “Alexa, play relaxing spa music,” and suddenly every Dot in the building wakes up like we just called a staff meeting.

One starts talking.

One ignores us.

One plays something completely different.

And mine? Mine is apparently going through a musical identity crisis.

Sometimes it’s Disney.

The other day it was Journey.

And yes, my client had to listen to me belt out Journey for a little while because HEY… it was a good song and apparently we were committed at that point. 😂

ANYWAY.

Yesterday, Ashley decided to change the name of the Alexa in her room.

Cool. Whatever. That’s Ashley’s business.

Fast forward to last night.

Last client leaves. I say my goodbyes. Turn off the hot towel cabinet. Straighten up. Do my normal closing routine.

Then I stand directly in front of my Dot and say:

“Alexa, off.”

Nothing.

“Alexa. OFF.”

Nothing.

“ALEXA, OFF.”

This bish is ignoring me.

So naturally, instead of using any critical-thinking skills whatsoever, I just KEEP SAYING IT LOUDER.

“Alexa off.”

“ALEXA OFF.”

“ALEXAAAAA. OFFFFF.”

I’m standing approximately 14 inches from this woman, arguing with a hockey puck.

And apparently I’m a slow learner because it took me about TWENTY TIMES before it finally occurred to me…

🤦‍♀️

MY ALEXA TOOK ASHLEY’S NAME CHANGE TOO.

So somewhere around attempt #17, I wasn’t operating technology anymore.

I was just a tired massage therapist standing alone in a dark spa repeatedly screaming the wrong woman’s name at an electronic device that had absolutely no idea who the hell I was talking to.

Meanwhile Alexa—or whatever her name is now—was probably sitting there like:

“Ma’am. I don’t work here.”

At this point I don’t even know who runs Spa La Vie anymore.

Me?

Ashley?

The clients?

The ducks?

Or the Amazon Dots?

But it damn sure ain’t me. 😂🤦‍♀️

08/11/2026

🚨 SPA LA VIE RENOVATION: BEHIND THE SCENES 🚨

Nobody warned me that when you hire your husband to help renovate the spa, he may eventually become too comfortable in the workplace.

Sir.

We are installing flooring.

This is not a 1997 Sears catalog.
This is not your Tinder profile.
Nobody asked you to serve looks beside the tape measure. 😂

I turned around for approximately 14 seconds and found Denny stretched across my BRAND NEW FLOOR like:

✨ Paint me like one of your Louisiana construction workers. ✨

Meanwhile, there are baseboards to install, doors to paint, furniture to move and approximately 746 other things on my list.

But apparently we’ve entered the Spa La Vie Renovation: Sexy Contractor Era. 💁‍♀️😂

⭐ Flooring: installed
⭐ Husband: unsupervised
⭐ OSHA violations: probably
⭐ Modeling contract: pending
⭐ Katie’s patience: under renovation

And yes, ladies… he’s taken.

I know.

Devastating. 😂😂