Mary Gale Gurnsey, LMFT

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Mary Gale Gurnsey, LMFT Therapy with specialization in attachment, trauma and relationsips. I work with individuals, couples, and families to match your specific needs.

Being cut off as punishment can leave you feeling anxious, confused, and desperate to repair things—even when you’ve don...
10/10/2026

Being cut off as punishment can leave you feeling anxious, confused, and desperate to repair things—even when you’ve done nothing wrong. Withholding connection to force compliance is emotionally harmful.

You don’t have to chase, plead, or apologize for having boundaries. Pause before responding, reach out to someone you trust, and ask yourself: “What do I need to feel safe and respected?”

You can miss someone and still protect yourself from how they treat you. Their silence does not determine your worth.

Someone can understand what hurts you and still use it to control you.In an abusive relationship with someone who has na...
09/24/2026

Someone can understand what hurts you and still use it to control you.

In an abusive relationship with someone who has narcissistic traits, personal disclosures can become am******on: an insecurity brought up to humiliate you, a painful experience used to discredit you, or a fear of abandonment used to threaten you into giving in.

When they then call you “too sensitive” or “crazy,” the conversation becomes about your reaction instead of their behavior.

If this keeps happening, you can limit what you share. You don’t have to keep explaining your pain to someone who repeatedly uses it against you.

For narcissistic people, kindness can be transactional. Gifts, money, affection, or help may be offered because they exp...
09/20/2026

For narcissistic people, kindness can be transactional. Gifts, money, affection, or help may be offered because they expect admiration, access, compliance, or control in return.

When the gesture no longer benefits them—or when you establish a boundary—they may withdraw it, destroy it, or use it to punish you. They would rather prevent you from enjoying something than allow you to benefit from it without remaining under their control.

That is why their generosity can feel so confusing. What appeared to be care may have actually been an investment in influence.

Genuine generosity does not become a weapon when you say no. Healthy people do not punish you for benefiting from something they freely chose to give.

Walking away isn’t always “giving up.” Sometimes it’s recognizing that you cannot repair a relationship by yourself.A he...
08/20/2026

Walking away isn’t always “giving up.” Sometimes it’s recognizing that you cannot repair a relationship by yourself.
A healthy relationship doesn’t require perfection—but it does require accountability, safety, reciprocity, and a willingness to change.

We’ve learned so much about boundaries—and that’s important. But sometimes therapy can overcorrect, teaching us to leave...
08/20/2026

We’ve learned so much about boundaries—and that’s important. But sometimes therapy can overcorrect, teaching us to leave at the first sign of discomfort instead of teaching us how to communicate, take accountability, and repair.
Healthy relationships aren’t conflict-free. They’re relationships where people know how to repair after the rupture. ❤️

08/14/2026

Trust me when I tell you any child of a pathological narcissist will develop far better if that “parent” just goes away. The trauma and destruction these parents cause to their own children during childhood and their developmental years is catastrophic. The child will develop CPTSD, and the trauma that’s inflicted upon the safe unconditional loving parent is extreme as well, and both the child and the safe parent will be robbed of their God given birthright to live a life free from abuse and terrorism.

For 1:1 private coaching sessions with me, or for more information on all of my resources, please visit my website at www.jillwise.com linked in the bio of this account.

Helping survivors of narcissistic abuse, emotional manipulation, trauma bonding, and Complex PTSD understand what really happened—and how to heal.

On this channel, I break down covert narcissism, gaslighting, smear campaigns, trauma bonds, attachment wounds, and the psychology behind abusive relationships in clear, validating, survivor-centered language.

If you’ve ever felt confused, blamed yourself, or wondered “Was it really abuse?”—you’re in the right place. Education is the first step to freedom.

✨ Narcissistic abuse recovery
✨ Trauma bond awareness
✨ Covert & malignant narcissism
✨ CPTSD & attachment trauma
✨ Boundaries, healing & self-trust

Follow for clarity, validation, and psychological insight that helps you reclaim your reality.

— Jill Wise

If you grew up (or are currently) with a parent who stonewalls, gives the silent treatment, dismisses your feelings, or ...
08/13/2026

If you grew up (or are currently) with a parent who stonewalls, gives the silent treatment, dismisses your feelings, or tells you to “just get over it” — you already know the hardest part isn’t the conflict itself. It’s what happens after.

Rupture is a normal part of every relationship, even healthy ones. Nobody gets it right every time. What actually determines whether a relationship feels safe isn’t whether disconnection happens — it’s whether repair follows it.

When repair never comes — when the subject gets changed, the silence stretches on, and the original hurt is never revisited — a child doesn’t conclude “my parent struggles with conflict.” They conclude something about themselves. That their needs are too much. That bringing things up isn’t safe. That they’re the problem for still caring about something everyone else has already moved past.

And if that shows up now as anxiety, over-explaining, people-pleasing, or being “too sensitive” in relationships — that’s not a flaw in you. That’s a nervous system that learned, correctly, that being dismissed was a real possibility worth guarding against.

Your reaction was never the problem. The missing repair was.

Having a bad day doesn’t mean you’re doing badly at life. 🤍Sometimes you’re overwhelmed. Sometimes you’re exhausted. Som...
08/12/2026

Having a bad day doesn’t mean you’re doing badly at life. 🤍
Sometimes you’re overwhelmed. Sometimes you’re exhausted. Sometimes the negative thoughts are louder than everything else.
You don’t have to fix your whole life today. You don’t have to force yourself to be positive. Sometimes the most therapeutic thing you can do is simply get through today with a little more compassion for yourself.
Feel what you feel. Take the pressure off. Do one small thing that makes today 5% easier.
A hard day is not a hard life. And this feeling is not forever. 🤍

The silent treatment isn’t the same as taking healthy space.Healthy space sounds like: “I’m overwhelmed right now. I nee...
08/11/2026

The silent treatment isn’t the same as taking healthy space.
Healthy space sounds like: “I’m overwhelmed right now. I need some time to process, but I want to come back and talk about this.”
The silent treatment uses withdrawal to create uncertainty, distance, or emotional distress. Over time, it can erode trust, increase anxiety, and make it difficult to feel emotionally safe in the relationship.
💬 Healthy relationships don’t require punishment to create boundaries. They require communication, accountability, and repair.
If you’re experiencing this dynamic, you’re not “too sensitive” for being affected by it.

Sometimes the hardest part of healing is accepting that you may never receive the acknowledgment, accountability, or apo...
08/08/2026

Sometimes the hardest part of healing is accepting that you may never receive the acknowledgment, accountability, or apology you deserved.

The person who betrayed, abused, or neglected you may not have the capacity—or willingness—to truly understand the impact of what they did.

That doesn’t mean your experience wasn’t real.
It doesn’t mean you’re asking for too much.
And it doesn’t mean you need their apology in order to heal.

Sometimes closure comes from no longer waiting for someone else to validate what you already know happened.

You can grieve the apology you deserved—and still choose to move forward. 🤍

HealingJourney Boundaries SelfWorth InnerHealing TraumaInformed MentalHealthAwareness Therapy Therapist LicensedMarriageAndFamilyTherapist HealthyRelationships

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New York, NY
10001

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+16463890092

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