Newbury Park Counseling

06/15/2024

Learning to Invest Your Energy in People Who Deserve It

In life, our energy is one of our most valuable resources. Like time, it's finite, and once spent, it cannot be reclaimed. Therefore, it's crucial to be mindful of where and in whom we invest this precious resource. Learning to place your energy into people who deserve it is not only an act of self-care but also a pathway to more meaningful and fulfilling relationships. Here are some insights on how to cultivate this practice:

1. **Recognize Your Worth**
Understand that your energy has value. You bring unique qualities, perspectives, and strengths to any relationship. When you appreciate your worth, you become more selective about who gets to share in it. This self-awareness serves as the foundation for healthy interactions.

2. **Set Boundaries**
Setting boundaries is essential for maintaining your energy levels. Know your limits and communicate them clearly. Boundaries help filter out those who respect and value you from those who might drain your energy without reciprocation.

3. **Evaluate Relationships**
Regularly assess the relationships in your life. Ask yourself:
- Does this person support and uplift me?
- Do they respect my time and boundaries?
- Is there a balance in our give-and-take?

Positive answers indicate relationships that deserve your energy. Negative patterns, on the other hand, may suggest it's time to reevaluate your investment.

4. **Look for Mutual Effort**
Healthy relationships are characterized by mutual effort and respect. Pay attention to who reaches out, who shows interest in your well-being, and who supports you during tough times. Genuine connections involve effort from both sides, creating a balanced and nourishing exchange.

5. **Practice Letting Go**
It's tough to let go of people, especially if you've invested a lot of time and emotion into the relationship. However, if a relationship is consistently draining and one-sided, it's healthier to release it. Letting go makes space for more deserving individuals to enter your life.

6. **Trust Your Intuition**
Your gut feelings are powerful indicators of who deserves your energy. If someone consistently makes you feel uneasy or exhausted, trust that instinct. Conversely, if you feel uplifted and energized by someone’s presence, they are likely worth your investment.

7. **Surround Yourself with Positive Influences**
Seek out relationships with people who inspire you, who push you to be better, and who celebrate your successes. Positive influences will enhance your energy rather than deplete it.

8. **Nurture Self-Care**
Investing in yourself is just as important as investing in others. Make sure to prioritize self-care practices that replenish your energy. When you are well-rested and content, you are better equipped to discern where your energy should go.

Learning to place your energy in people who deserve it is an ongoing journey. It requires self-reflection, honesty, and sometimes, difficult decisions. However, by doing so, you cultivate a circle of trust and positivity, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and balanced life. Remember, you deserve relationships that nourish and elevate you. Choose wisely, and cherish those who reciprocate your energy with love and respect.

07/31/2023

This is so true

WHEN YOU SAY GOODBYE TO A PARENT
You are suddenly living in a whole new world.

You are no longer ‘the child’ and regardless of how long you have officially been ‘grown up’ for, you realise you actually never were until this moment. The shock of this adjustment will shake your very core.

When you have finally said goodbye to both your parents, assuming you were lucky enough to have had two. You are an orphan on this earth and that never, ever gets easier to take no matter how old and grey you are yourself and no matter how many children of your own you have.

You see, a part of your body is physically connected to the people that made it and also a part of your soul. When they no longer live, it is as if you are missing something practical that you need – like a finger or an arm. Because really, you are. You are missing your parent and that is something far more necessary than any limb.

And yet the connection is so strong it carries on somehow, no-one knows how exactly. But they are there. In some way, shape or form they are still guiding you if you listen closely enough. You can hear the words they would choose to say to you.

You can feel the warmth of their approval, their smile when a goal is achieved, their all-consuming love filling the air around you when a baby is born they haven’t met.

If you watch your children very closely you will see that they too have a connection with your parents long after they are gone. They will say things that resonate with you because it brings so many memories of the parent you are missing. They will carry on traits, thoughts and sometimes they will even see them in their dreams.

This is not something we can explain.

Love is a very mystical and wondrous entity.

It is far better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all and grief, grief is the price of that love. The deeper the love the stronger the grief.

When you say goodbye to a parent, do not forget to connect with that little girl who still lives inside you somewhere.

Take very good care of her, for she, she will be alone and scared.

When you say goodbye to your parents, you lose an identity, a place in the world. When the people who put you on this earth are no longer here, it changes everything.

Look after yourself the way they looked after you and listen out for them when you need it the most.

They never really leave.

Donna Ashworth
From my poetry collection
To The Women: words to live by
UK: https://amzn.eu/d/i8Xpzmu
US: https://a.co/d/2FaN5Ey

To The Woman is the second book from History Will Remember author, and social media wordsmith, Donna Ashworth. Donna’s poems and essays for women are constantly flying around the internet bringing positivity and solidarity. This collection contains 48 favourite poems, plus beautiful quotes; truly....