Love Is A Verb Counseling

08/26/2026

This is what I see in my Orange County office every week. One partner goes quiet mid-argument, and the other feels abandoned.

You know the feeling. You had your points ready, but the fight speeds up, they shut down, and suddenly neither of you knows what it's about anymore.

If you're neurodivergent, especially with ADHD, going blank doesn't mean you stopped caring. Your brain is tracking their tone, their face, old hurt, and what you still want to say, all at once. It's too much, so the words vanish, your body reads it as danger, and you snap into fight mode.

I was diagnosed with ADHD at 13, so this isn't theory for me. The fix isn't thinking faster, it's slowing down. Before a fight, tell your partner how your brain works and pick a phrase together, like "You're going faster than I can keep up with. Can we slow down?" Say it when things heat up, and your words come back.

And honestly? That's couples work. Those phrases only hold when you build them together, and that's what we do in my 90-minute couples sessions.

Comment COUPLE and I'll send you the link to book a session.

08/24/2026

08/24/2026

A Therapist, A Mom, A Step Mom, A Business Owner, A Wife, A Home Owner. It never ends; sometimes all you can do is play. 🥁

08/24/2026

“We used to start fights and never finish them - now we actually listen first.” I hear this often from couples in Orange County, and it’s the power of a soft start-up. I teach one simple Gottman skill: open with a calm, gentle statement instead of blame. Like switching from matches to a dimmer switch, it lowers heat, prevents escalations, and makes repairs happen faster - restoring trust and intimacy. As a Gottman Level 2 clinician, I guide couples through practicing this step-by-step and help you use out-of-network benefits to make sessions accessible. Ready to change how you argue and reconnect? Schedule a session: https://wix.to/qLuWUjG

08/17/2026

08/17/2026

Every relationship deserves a space to grow and heal. If you and your partner are in California and looking for a way to strengthen your connection, we are here to help. Book a free consultation today to see how our tailored therapy sessions can make a difference in your life. Let us work together to build a brighter future for your partnership. 🤝✨

08/17/2026

08/17/2026

New Blog Post: What Your ADHD Partner Wants You To Know

www.loveisaverbcounseling.com/blog

08/17/2026

If you love someone with ADHD, you may have asked yourself:

**“If they care so much, why does it sometimes feel like they don’t?”**

Why can they hyperfocus for hours on something they love, but forget the thing you asked them to do that morning?

Why does a simple request sometimes turn into overwhelm, defensiveness, shutdown, or a fight?

Why are they exhausted by 3 p.m. but suddenly creative and wide awake at midnight?

Why does criticism seem to hit somewhere much deeper than the actual conversation?

And why do they keep explaining themselves when all you want is for them to understand how much something hurt?

My newest blog, **“What Your ADHD Partner Desperately Wants You to Understand,”** is about the internal side of ADHD that partners often cannot see.

The executive dysfunction.

The time blindness.

The focus tunnel.

The sensory overload.

The accumulated shame.

The rejection sensitivity.

The delayed emotional processing.

The constant expenditure of energy required to meet ordinary demands.

And the part I think matters most:

**Understanding ADHD does not mean removing accountability.**

Your ADHD partner can need grace **and** need to change.

You can understand that they didn’t intend to hurt you **and** still need repair.

You can recognize neurodivergence **without disappearing inside your partner’s diagnosis.**

The work is not deciding which nervous system is right.

The work is learning how to build a relationship where both people can say:

**“I believe you when you tell me what it’s like to be you—and I need you to believe me when I tell you what it’s like to love you.”**

If ADHD, emotional dysregulation, executive dysfunction, resentment, communication breakdowns, or the parent-child dynamic are taking over your relationship, this is exactly the kind of work I specialize in.

I provide **ADHD-informed and neurodivergent-affirming couples therapy in California**, integrating Gottman Method work, attachment, trauma-informed care, and practical strategies designed for the actual nervous systems inside your relationship.

Read the full blog at **Love Is a Verb Counseling** or reach out through my website to schedule a consultation.

Save this for the next time ADHD starts feeling personal. Send it to the partner who needs a different way to understand what’s happening between you.

ADHD can look like forgetfulness, defensiveness, inconsistency, or disconnection from the outside. Inside, something very different may be happening. Here's what your ADHD partner wishes you understood.