Kessler Psychological

Kessler Psychological We are a place to realize your full potential. A place for healing and to realize pain must not equal suffering.

06/10/2026

Wednesday's Weekly KP Tip:

🛑STOP!🛑

When we're upset, we think, do, and say things we regret or that make things worse. All of us. So, the STOP acronym can help us remember what to do when we're VERY emotional (e.g., angry, anxious, even overjoyed)...

Stop. Just stop. Stop talking. Stop thinking. Stop moving. Stop being/acting/talking from the heightened emotional state.

Take a breath (and Take a step back). Focus on calming your nervous system by focusing on your breath and retreating just a little bit. Step back if you're in someone's face. Take a brief break from the moment. Do your best to communicate what you're doing to others.

Observe. Now that you're a bit calmer and separated from the situation, become an observer to the situation, others, and yourself. You may notice important information that will help you with the next step...

Plan and Proceed. With all you've observed, decide from a calmer place what's best for you/others/the situation. Understand your goal and plan how you think it's best to get there. Then Proceed with the plan.

Repeat as often as needed!

Wednesday's KP Tip:Sometimes the worst place to be is in your head. Spirals. Racing. Tomorrow. Yesterday. The best way o...
06/03/2026

Wednesday's KP Tip:

Sometimes the worst place to be is in your head. Spirals. Racing. Tomorrow. Yesterday. The best way out is through the heart (emotions) and body.

Those thoughts always come with emotions which always come with body reactions and sensations. The more you notice these, the less you're getting carried away with the thoughts.

✨Take a moment to notice how your state of mind shows up in your body. Really Notice. Become an observer.

✨Put an image or color to the emotions you're feeling. Name them. Greet them.

✨If your mind picks up again, just notice that and get back to what you were observing.

This takes practice and patience. But it's worth it, as it not only gives you a break from the thoughts, but it reminds you that you can have some control of your experiences.

Good luck! And, don't forget to breathe!

Wednesday's Weekly KP TIP:⚡️How to cope with a panic attack🌈The best way is to recognize when it's coming. It's easier t...
05/13/2026

Wednesday's Weekly KP TIP:

⚡️How to cope with a panic attack🌈

The best way is to recognize when it's coming. It's easier to prevent than to stop, but the techniques are the same either way. The goal is to get OUT OF YOUR HEAD and INTO YOUR BODY!

*Focus on your breathing. This can be done in many ways. Sheer focus on the act; focus on picturing the path of air throughout your respiratory system; picture and follow box or numbered breathing. If you are breathing rapidly, the goal is to slow it down. In through the nose and out through the mouth like blowing out a candle slowly.

*Pay attention to your strongest sensory channel. Focus purely on what you see or hear or feel on your skin.

*Focus on imagery. Something calming.

☑️With any of these techniques, if you catch your mind wandering, simply
notice that and redirect your attention, like recentering a typewriter at the end of the page.

☑️Don't stop prematurely. Commit to the practice until you've become fully calmed. If you check in a lot or rush through, you may restart the attack.

☑️Also learn what an oncoming panic attack feels like for you...tight chest? head swirling? shallow breathing? tunnel vision? The sooner you start your grounding techniques, the better.

KP Weekly Tip (brought to you by Sydney Beasley, Resident in Counseling)This week's tip is about Emotions are important...
07/22/2022

KP Weekly Tip (brought to you by Sydney Beasley, Resident in Counseling)
This week's tip is about

Emotions are important messengers that point to unaddressed needs. Sometimes if you were taught emotions were unnecessary or somehow "bad," it can be difficult to tune in or understand their purpose. It can be helpful to view emotions as additional neutral information to help identify action steps that lead you closer to the life you want.

The next time you are experiencing an emotion. Pause, reflect and ask yourself, what need is this feeling showing me? What need can I meet?

Try it out and let us know how it goes! Feel free to add any additional emotions and what they indicate for you in our comment section.

07/13/2022

KP Weekly Tip (brought to you by Lena S. Kessler, Ph.D)
This week's tip is about

The beauty of breathing. Not only does it keep us alive, but it has the power to help us regain sanity and comfort in many instances.
If you are feeling anxious, worried, overwhelmed, angry, or any other emotion that is taking you out of a rational headspace and/or leaving your body taking hits for your emotions, try the following methods:

4-4-4 or 4-7-8 breathing:
Inhale to the count of 4 through your nose; hold to the count of 4; exhale to the count of 4 through your mouth. Eyes open and focused on something or closed. The point is to focus on your breath. Or do the same but to the counts of 4, 7 and 8. Repeat each one at least three times.

Box breathing:
Envision a box that you are making with each of four parts of your breath and use the numbers 4-8 as the same for each side: Inhale to the number to go up the side of the box; hold to the same number to make the top cross of the box; exhale to the same number to go down the other side of the box; and hold at the same number to make the bottom of the box. Match your breathing to the lines of the box. Repeat at least 3 times.

This mindful act helps to control your breathing rate, which also helps to control your heartrate; these all help to calm down your sympathetic nervous system which is also in charge of the dilation of your blood vessels, the prepping of your muscles, and the slowing of your digestive system (ie, increased blood pressure, muscle tension, and tummy yuck). Not only does doing all of this overall help your body and mind to calm down, but when you recognize that your breath control has all of these wonderful effects, you recognize your power.

07/07/2022

KP Weekly Tip (brought to you by Breanne Fenning, LPC)
This week's tip is about !

Struggling with persistent and intrusive thoughts? You might be engaging in some negative thinking patterns such as catastrophizing, using should statements, or fortune-telling. While we can sometimes reduce our worries and negative thinking by coming up with a positive thought instead, this at times can feel frustrating or unhelpful because that thought might not necessarily be true or is unrealistic.

Instead, try coming up with some B3’s: Better-but-believable thoughts.

A term coined by Jennifer Abel, Ph.D., better-but-believable thoughts are simple, yet effective, catchy, and practical. You can do this quickly and likely even believe the thoughts you come up with!

For example, if you are worried about getting laid off from work, rather than saying “I’m sure I won’t get laid off” (which you cannot actually guarantee, so might find it hard to believe), try instead a B3: "They probably won’t let me go, but if they do, I might find a job that is better or be able to get unemployment for awhile and catch up on personal things”…. Can you see how that second version is better, but also believable? That itself can lessen the worry.

Give it a try for yourself and see if you feel better, or less worried, when you use Better-but-believable thoughts to face a negative thought you’ve been dealing with.

06/27/2022

KP Weekly Tip (brought to you by Alex Bice, Social Work Supervisee)
This week's tip is about

How Unhealed Trauma Shows Up in Relationships:

Addiction to chaos, crisis, or fighting as connection:
If we witnessed these things as ‘love’ when we were children, we will unconsciously seek these patterns as adults. Stability, predictability, and safety might feel boring.

Relationship Sabotage:
Betrayal, deceit, substance use, and financial irresponsibility are ways that we sabotage relationships because on a subconscious level, we fear them and never feel safe within them.

Inner Child Fantasies:
When we had parent figures who abused or neglected us emotionally, we become fixers or rescuers who chase love or approval. Rather than seeing people for who they are, we see them for who we want them to be (a fantasy).

Inability to Communicate:
We learn communication from our parent figures. If we weren’t taught healthy communication, we can shut down, become defensive, stonewall, or deny our partner’s reality.

Repeating Dysfunctional Cycles:
This is called repetition compulsion. We unconsciously repeat or re-create our childhood trauma dynamics. Finding ourselves with the same kind of partners or in the same dynamics over and over again.

Fear of Abandonment:
We think of worst case scenarios, over-think or analyze our partner’s every move, or end the relationship as soon as we feel vulnerable because a fear of abandonment keeps us in fight or flight.

Becoming a Parent to our Partner:
Many of us take on a parental role to our partners. Micromanaging their finances, their choices, setting harsh punishments, or unconsciously treating a partner as if they are our child causing unhealthy power dynamics.

Lack of Self Trust:
Denying our own reality, second guessing our feelings, and thinking we are ‘crazy’ are common manifestations of how lack of self-trust shows up in our relationships.
holistic.psychologist

06/21/2022

KP Weekly Tip (brought to you by Adam Hanson, LPC)
This week's tip is about

Most of us can think of an example of a major psychological trauma, but micro-trauma can occur over time and become more and more harmful. The good news is that because these things occur over time, we can identify and interrupt them before they cause us psychological damage. Here are some examples:
• Being constantly put down or insulted.
• Repeatedly being abandoned in relationships or feeling that we’re abandoned.
• Repeatedly trying to “fix” someone who is not interested in changing thus maybe setting ourselves up for thinking that we’re not worth changing for.
• Feeling chronic outrage that is likely at least in part due to our own expectations of how things should go/people should act.
• Glossing over our own negative traits and working hard to present ourselves as perfect which requires never-ending work and not much enjoyment
• Chronic all-or-nothing thinking likely leading us to experience let downs, self-criticism, and/or stress and overwhelm due to our inability to understand that much of reality exists in the grey/some/middle grounds.

Here are 4 ways to break free of these examples:
• Try to identify the self-destructive patterns.
• Find ways to process your past to see how it may play a role in the present.
• Try to stay grounded and present in day-to-day life (…But you JUST said “process the past!?”…See the above explanation about “All-or-nothing thinking”😃).
• Be patient with yourself!

KP Weekly Tip (brought to you by Sydney Beasley, Resident in Counseling)This week's tip is about Showing your partner t...
06/14/2022

KP Weekly Tip (brought to you by Sydney Beasley, Resident in Counseling)
This week's tip is about

Showing your partner that you value them as individuals and within the context of your relationship is powerful and necessary. Spending just five minutes a day expressing your appreciation and admiration for your partner can do wonders to strengthen your relationship.

Statements of appreciation might sound like:

"I'm so proud of you."
" I feel ____ when you _____."
"Wow, I'm in awe of you."
"I'm so impressed that you ___."
"I like how you ___.

Cultivating a practice of noticing the little things that your partner does, that were once novel but have become routine, can reignite connection and decrease feelings of resentment. Validation is a powerful way to improve communication. It almost always leads to immediate change for the better when both partners are committed to sustaining a practice of appreciation and admiration. Try it out!

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