09/28/2022
Discussing your decision to separate/divorce with your children can be one of the most difficult conversations to have.
Here are some additional tips for speaking to your children about divorce:
BE ON THE SAME PAGE
Hearing from both parents shows dedication, unity, creates less confusion, and decreases the need for a child to choose sides. (Examples: "Both mom and dad decided,")
DO NOT BLAME
Blame results in resentment, children feeling like they need to choose sides, and a need for loyalty or betrayal. Note: The harsh truth is less important than reassurance, support, and unity.
DEFINE "SEPARATION" and/or "DIVORCE"
Explaining the meaning of separation and/or divorce in an age-appropriate manner helps to clarify and provides predictability. (Example: Time apart, a break, or living separately)
PROVIDE CONSISTENCY AND PREDICTABILITY
Children are incredibly resilient and thrive with consistency and predictability. Describing the things that will stay the same, as well as the things that will change can provide predictability and decrease anxiety.
VALIDATE A CHILD’S CONCERNS AND FEELINGS
By recognizing and validating a child’s feelings and concerns you send the message that their feelings matter, and are heard, understood, and accepted.
PLAN A FOLLOW UP
Check in with children a little later. Give the kids time to process information.
Read the entire blog with additional information and examples at:
www.FtLauderdaleCounseling.com
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